Episode 310 - Robotech the Sentinels Rubicon #2

Episode 310: Robotech the Sentinels Rubicon #2

Yeah, I know that most people prefer Generic Space Bikini Girl With Face Junk #1, but I'm more of a Generic Space Bikini Girl With Face Junk #2 man myself.

As Robotech: The Sentinels Rubicon continues to be determined to avoid its main plot at all costs, it has to find all sorts of ways to fill up space instead. So while there’s some cosmic event out there doing cosmic stuff we get to instead hear about ship launches, diplomatic luncheons, why translating from one language to another is hard, Carnegie Hall, alien date-rape drugs (thanks comic, thanks so much) and why JC is the greatest human being to have ever lived and why we should all be thankful for something he did offscreen at some point maybe. And to help pad it out not only do we have a swarm of identical people with long hair and headbands, a cheap Final Fantasy VII joke and almost a Sentinels character, but we also suddenly shift to rough pencils in the process! That’s right, it’s a comic that’s inept at every level and you’ll struggle to decide which one’s the worst!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 309 - Gundam Build Fighters: Life's Gunpla Battle Championship MkII, chapters 1-2

Episode 309: Gundam Build Fighters: Life's Gunpla Battle Championship MkII, chapters 1-2

Raymond collapsed and passed out several minutes ago. I didn't help him, because this near-total stranger's model kit is more important than his health. I know he'll understand.

When you’re writing fanfic about a show that’s about the fandom of a show, you’re already pretty metafictional. But when you replace your fanfic about a show that’s about the fandom of a show with another fanfic about a show that’s about the fandom of a show, then it begins to get really crazy. Case in point is this lovely little piece which is a replacement for My Way to the Championship which improves upon it in ways that we can’t even begin to describe. (No, really, this fic cannot be described in any rational terms) So join the cast of Gundam 00 save for that useless scrub Setsuna Kale and his buddies plus the Obligatory Pale Quiet Girl as they mercilessly pummel any feelings of joy and happiness out of the universe and fail to understand how school uniforms work!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 308 - AYNGEL Project, chapters 5-7

Episode 308: AYNGEL Project, chapters 5-7

It's like if the Three Stooges were all violent steroid junkies.

If you’ve made it this far, then you’re probably wondering what the titular AYNGEL Project actually is. You’re pretty sure it’s got nothing to do with insulting Hideoto, getting drunk, claiming to be gansta by driving a soccer mom SUV, naked wrestling, that one scene from When Harry Met Sally, badly-written sex or how much weed Tom smokes each day. Sure, there’s some digressions to talk about Hideoto’s wee-wee (again) and to reveal that Steve is even more of a creep then you thought (Shocking, I know) but once that’s out of the way, we actually engage the simulacrum of a plot and forge ahead to reveal the shocking truth of what’s going on and how it will reshape their tiny little fictive world. So read an in-flight magazine, bounce off a rubber footpath and send a Salami to your boy in the army for the next chunk of fiction that is AYNGEL Project. It’s a thing, unless it’s not!


Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 307 - The Amazing Star-Spider, chapters 1-16

Episode 307: The Amazing Star-Spider, chapters 1-16

Spider-Sense here. I know what you’re thinking, super tracking ain’t my usual gig. But I demanded a bigger role if I was gonna show in this stink-burger. Enjoy my performance! Spider-Sense out.

It's time for a visit to the spider research wing at NYU lab, but there's no sign of Peter Parker at all. Actually, there's no sign of radioactive spiders either, just rare species used for disease research because of how poisonous they are. There aren't any stars either, which is exactly why young Teresa Alovi, after gaining powers from a perfectly normal spider bite, calls herself the Amazing Star-Spider. And there's plenty of star-spidering to be done, since Uncle Ben her mother has been cut down by a purse-snatching Hobgoblin arms dealer. So she sets out to find the D-list Spider-Villain responsible, fighting her way through Spider-Villains so obscure that even Spot would ask "Who?" and accidentally getting mentored a couple of times along the way. So if you want to see someone who's just like Peter Parker doing Peter Parker things, come check out The Amazing Star-Spider!


Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster

Episode 306 - Robotech the Sentinels Rubicon #1

Episode 306: Robotech the Sentinels Rubicon #1

So far, the message of this comic seems to be 'Bright light that goes EEEEEEE.'

If you like high-concept Sci-Fi about man’s conformation with the unknown and incomprehensible, then you’re definitely reading the wrong book. But if you want to be bludgeoned by an incoherent mess about stuff being exploded by a white light in space that goes “EEEEE” then your dream has come true. Robotech: The Sentinels Rubicon may share it’s title with an already existing novel, but it’s content has no connection to any prior published material and, mercifully, none that would follow either. Instead what it does have is the world’s most confusing poker game, space strippers, miscellaneous aliens, spaceships (which explode), giant robots (which also explode), somebody called Featherhead, somebody called JC and/or Lancer and some very awkward dialogue. It’s the mass of process wood pulp that the fans demanded!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 305 - AYNGEL Project, chapters 3-4

Episode 305: AYNGEL Project, chapters 3-4

His wife had wanted him to take up gardening but oh no, he had to go and build an omnipotent evil conspiracy bent on reshaping all mankind.

Warning: Contains explicit sex

Because AYNGEL Project hadn’t found enough ways to offend you yet, here’s some more quality material from our alleged heroes, Tom and Steve. Fresh from a round of blowing up Angels and destroying secretive conspiracies, the pair of them take time out to get drunk, get stoned, verbally abuse their best friend and generally be even more unlikeable then you’d think possible. But the real focus of these two slabs of text that call themselves chapters is Hiditio and ensuring that he is humiliated and degraded in every way possible to a point that you’ll be glad when he gets killed off in a car park. Throw in some badly written sex, almost silly violence, random drug testing and a genuinely creepy attempt to depict a romantic relationship and you have the latest part in this self-indulgent chat-room derived oddesey!


Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 304 - Dreamstar and the Court Of Dreams: The Gathering of Dreams, chapter 7 and The Dark Warrior

Episode 304: Dreamstar and the Court Of Dreams: The Gathering of Dreams, chapter 7 and The Dark Warrior

Sure she stripped him, drugged him, revealed his secret identity and broke into his hideout, but she wrote him a note afterwards, and that's what matters.

A mysterious new vigilante has come to Gotham city, vexing Batman at every turn. Everywhere she goes, questions follow in her wake. Where does she come from? What does she want? Who thought the Dark Warrior was a good codename anyway? Why is she wearing high heels? And why is she sniffing Batman's underwear? Even Batman's advanced investigation technique of asking her the same question over and over again cannot prevail. Still, there's villains to fight (for some reason) a party to attend (for even less reason) and a model to woo who is TOTALLY NOT THE SECRET IDENTITY OF THE DARK WARRIOR SO STOP ASKING ALREADY. There may also be magical girls, some ancient scrolls, and a bad-arse drill sergeant cat, but definitely not Tim.

Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster

Episode 303 - Warrior Nun Areala and Glory - GOD and COUNTRY

Episode 303: Warrior Nun Areala and Glory - GOD and COUNTRY

She's here to kick arse and take communion!

When you're engaged in a legal battle over the ownership of intellectual property, there are a number of things that you can do to improve your case. Collaborating on a comic where you depict your opponent as a demon worshipper who sold his soul and spills the blood of innocents in exchange for popularity isn't one of them, but that's exactly what happens in this thing written and drawn by Ben "Obvious Nun Fetish" Dunn with assistance from Rob "Obvious Pouch Fetish" Leifeld. None the less, that's exactly what you get as Areala (Leather clad nun with a sword) and Glory (Chinese bootleg Wonder Woman) go to a con and fight deadly foes like booth queues, the concession stand and Jason, a twelve year old kid that you'll want to smack the instant you meet and yet is vital to the whole mess. Features very little God and almost no country! Diesel!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 302 - AYNGEL Project, chapters 1-2

Episode 302: AYNGEL Project, chapters 1-2

Enemies are attacking the city. Time for me to have a shower, a full breakfast and then go for my morning jog.

What is the AYNGEL Project? We’re not sure, but we’d wager it has nothing to do with binge drinking, Nine Inch Nail Nails songs, Super-Sayajins, Ranma cameos, nonspecific numbers of suddenly appearing soldiers, shades of lavender, disproportionally interesting grey-haired girls or St. Puppy’s Hospital for Adorable Orphans. What we do know is that it’s connected to Tom Effing Dyron and the incomprehensible cosmic horror known as Steven. That’s right, it’s another in-joke laden RP-derived mess from the genius authors of Delta Invasion and The Apocalyptic Battle, dedicated to showing how our two protagonists are actually horrible human beings. You’ll laugh (probably not) cry (definitely) and want to bury giant robots in the sand as our two alleged heroes insult each other, engage in naked wrestling, mock entirely reasonable authority and kill hundreds of innocents all in the name of good fun. Guaranteed 100% Matt-free!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 301 - Esper Chronicles

Episode 301: Esper Chronicles

He'd subjected them all to the Turing test to be sure. A couple of them flunked and had to re-sit it the next semester.

The adventures of Kyrind Brandford Locke Sommerville continue begin in Esper Chronicles, the sequel prequel replacement something to Tales of the Red Knight Saber! After spending a hard day of staring blankly at a rock with a minor side in exploding robots with his brain, alleged hero and sometimes police officer Locke heads out to a Chinese restaurant so he can enjoy seventeen hours of interminable Ranma cameos while using his incredible powers to invade everyone’s privacy without their knowledge and consent. But it’s not all fun and games as Largo comes back from the dead and unveils some secret plan that involves hotel renovations while Sylia recounts the times she fought Zoanoids and fanfics based on fanfics contradict other fanfics based on fanfics. All this plus a kind of sort of appearance from some guy called Bert that is both minor and regrettable at the same time!

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 300 - Tales of the Red Knight Saber

Episode 300: Tales of the Red Knight Saber

They ended up outsourcing the Esper Killing Department to Consultant who spent millions of the company's money on research before finally suggesting that Genom should just build a bigger killer robot.

Not content to be a leering creep of a supporting character, Mackie Stingray decides to be the hero of the story in this vintage fanfiction masterpiece. Suddenly transformed into a six foot tall bike-riding try-hard badarse with the power to kill people with his brain and his own super hardsuit that's better than everyone else's to boot, Mackie sets out to do vaguely defined stuff with no clear goal. But he's not the only author proxy in town, as a run in with super-powered dude Kyrind Brandford and his power to tear killer robots in half like they were made out of ice cream attests! (Whether he can tear them in half like they were made out of other soft desserts remains unproven as yet) Throw in a generic villain returning from the dead, a vague semblance of a plot, unlikeable god-mode OCs borrowed from other fanfics and nearly one hundred soldier, and you have the re-edited thing that is Tales of the Red Knight Saber.

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 299 - Chaos Lives and Zoids: Chapter Two, chapters 16-18

Episode 299: Chaos Lives and Zoids: Chapter Two, chapters 16-18

Kevin had been up all night, furiously polishing his dinosaur.

Legends tell of a mighty Zoid warrior, one who effortlessly crushed all contenders who rose to face them. A warrior who showed not the merest hint of concern for anything beyond their Zoid, not even to the very people who propped them up along every step of the way. A warrior who was a hero simply because the fic told you they were, rather then the raging sociopath that they obviously were. That Zoid Warrior was Kevin. Wait, what? You thought I meant Ami “Firecat” Nyan-Nyan-arama, didn’t you? Well the truth is that the description could apply to both of them, really. And just to prove that, we not only have the last chunk of Zoids Chapter Two, but also the final Kevin Fic ever! So decapitate your team-mates, argue over construction schedules, ignore the massive invasion that just tried to kill everyone you know and hold dear and congratulate yourself over being the best gosh darned whatever the hell it is that you are as not one but two fics come to an end. You’ll be amazed at how much alike they really are!

Hundreds died, by the way.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

August 2015 Update

July was… very slow. Not going to lie about that. One episode is terrible. We were hit by a combination of Real Life, a very big fic, queues and breakfasts that slowed us down to a crawl. The last few chapters of Zoids Chapter Two have blown out massively to the point where if not for our heavily pre-plannined schedule and looming anniversaries, we probably would have broken it up into more episodes.

The good news is that 299 is nearly finished. It’ll not only be the end of the Firecat epoch, but will also have a bonus from another one of our ‘favourite’ authors. Episodes 300, 302 and 303 are also in various early stages of riffing; we’re hoping to get at least two out per month from here on in, fingers crossed. We also have up to episode 313 scheduled, pending on B-Teams and other such things.

Speaking of, we do have something special planned for Episode 300. It’s not a rebuild, but it is a fic that was very important to us in the past.

As always, we are accepting donations for the Strategic Badfic Reserve. If you have something you want to throw our way, email us at elmerstudios00 (at) gmail (dot) com, and register your Jeff

Episode 298 - Zoids: Chapter Two, chapters 12-15

Episode 298: Zoids: Chapter Two, chapters 12-15

Whenever I’m in trouble, I always turn to the ghost of my dead brother’s giant robot cat. It always knows what to do.

After six dozen chapters of everyone congratulating Ami on her latest round of weaboo anime catgirl bullcrap, something amazing happens to the fic. That's right, a plot arrives. I know, it's a crazy thought and might be enough to cause the fic to be ruined forever, but bear with me here. Because the competition to determine the world's best Giant Plastic Robot Dinosaur fighter has begun, the Evil Backdraft Group make a thing that shoots boomerang lasers that cause Ami to turn into the same raging sociopathic monster that she's been all along. This has the net effect of causing filler fights to occur with people we've never heard of before and likely will never once care about again. In the meantime, Bit Cloud wangsts, Jamie gets decapitated and Brad flies so grossly out of character it would be funny if you weren't dying on the inside. So sit back and enjoy Zoids Chapter Two, Obligatory Tournament Arc, Ami is Kind of a Jerk.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 297 - The Ultimate Crime

Episode 297: The Ultimate Crime

Join us next week as Cobra Commander ruins Christmas!

In the world of colourful plastic army man supervillainy, there is always the idea of an “Ultimate” crime, an act so evil that it would surpass all others and make them pale by comparison. And if you ever wondered what might constitute such an act, your answer probably wouldn’t be ‘stealing a single week’s print run of a low-selling borderline cancelled comic.’ However, that would be the answer in this case. And, after such a heinous crime, it is up to the brave chaps in Action Force to risk life and limb to retrieve a pile of stolen funny books for Queen and country or some other such nonsense. It’s banal, it’s inane and it’s at a level of plot hole that actively feeds back on itself in some sort of metafictional mobius loop that will make you cry when you realise that somebody was paid to write this. I know I did.

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 296 – X-Men Evolution: Light-Flash

Episode 296: X-Men Evolution: Light-Flash

I keep telling you, if you go running by Wolf lake through Wolf forest in Wolf national park, that's going to happen

The fic begins, but it does not, for what is at the start is not the beginning, and the beginning is not at the start. The girl is there, and you do not understand. She is alone, and has powers, but they do not matter. There are more people, but some are not as there as the others. A question is asked; it has no answer and should not be there. Chapter has become a meaningless concept. We swim in a sea of words, unconnected and irrelevant. Nothing has happened, but the girl has ended and you do not understand.

Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster

Episode 295 - Zoids: Chapter Two, chapters 9-11

Episode 295: Zoids: Chapter Two, chapters 9-11

"She's kinda creepy," says the girl with a surgically implanted mechanical tail.

What could be better then stupidly one-sided Zoid battles and everybody talking about how amazing Ami is? Having my leg gnawed off by an irate tapir comes to mind, but that’s nothing to do with this fic at all, sadly. What it does provide us with is creepy beach bikini contests, which are some sort of improvement I guess because it’s a change from the rest of the fic which is just the same chapter repeated ad nauseum wearing different hats. Wait, no, it cuts into a Zoid battle, because beating somebody’s giant robot up proves that you’re prettier or something. Plus we learn a valuable moral lesson that mechanical tails are more important than human beings and that if you can’t solve something on your own then the ghost of your dead brother will always be there to do it for you. Or something.

Note that there is no chapter eight. This is a good thing.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 294 - Zoids: Chapter Two, chapters 5-7

Episode 294: Zoids: Chapter Two, chapters 5-7

The Backdraft group exist to fill every possible vacant space in the landscape. In case there is a place where nothing else is present, the Backdraft will be there.

What could be better then stupidly one-sided giant robot cockfighting matches that are staged entirely for the benefit of the Mary Sue? Well, a lot of things actually, but a forced-double date is probably not one of them. None the less, a third of this chunk of Zoids Chapter Two is devoted to just that in a festival of forced romantic banter that will have you wishing for the quiet dignity of Ravage Three Bodies Evolution. But it’s not all fun and games (and obligatory mugger attacks) as an old enemy from Ami’s past reappears, unleashing a deadly torrent of wangst! So join us as Firecat talks down to everyone, pressures people into doing what she wants, abandons her team to be killed and is thoroughly congratulated for it!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 293 - Girl on Fire, chapters 19-21

Episode 293: Girl on Fire, chapters 19-21

Further to previously published findings, a new, independent study based on emerging research methods confirms once more that fire is hot.

The finale is upon us and the Injustice League's nefarious plan is finally unveiled! What? It's not? Then what was their plan anyway? What about the robot, was that them? Wait, you forgot the robot? How about Phoenix's amazing transformation? Or was that just going to happen anyway? Fine. Well they've got her in their clutches, so now it's time to... Bicker? Wait, do they really not know what they're doing? We've come to far to stick the landing now. This is the end! There's no more Girl on Fire after this, so you'll have to get your act together and... What? She's gone? Great. Terrific. Just... I don't know, have a big showdown and be done with it. Makes you wonder why we bothered in the first place

Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster

Rebuild of Elmer Studios, year three

A year ago, I said I was surprised that we made it to two years of the rebuild. This year I’m surprised not that we made it through another year, but rather by looking at the numbers. We’ve now done ninety-two ‘episodes’ since we re-started. That’s something like sixty percent of the original Elmer Studios run, but in less then sixty percent of the time that it took. And when you realize that the average episode is much longer then in the original run, that makes it even more impressive.

Of course, there are a number of caveats to that which have had the effect of speeding up our production rate. While the micro-chunking process has been a fantastic success (our productivity has been boosted to an insane degree thanks to the process), it’s not the only reason why we’ve been so active this last year. Thirty MSTings is a good year for anyone, after all

Episode 292 - Zoids: Chapter Two, chapters 1-4

Episode 292: Zoids: Chapter Two, chapters 1-4

In case we hadn't hammered home the point that she's the greatest thing alive, here it is again.

A fanfic about an obnoxious, stupidly over-powered girl who is the center of everything, that everyone fawns over and is rock stupid and yet constantly praised while also having a fire-themed nickname? No, it’s not another chapter of Girl On Fire, but you may soon wish it was. Instead it’s the adventures of Ami “Firecat” Fakejapanesenamiyama, a Zoid warrior so dedicated to her giant plastic robot cat that she had an artificial tail surgically grafted onto her own body. And yet, on discovering this fact, nobody backs away slowly from the obviously dangerous madwoman, but instead decides to restructure their whole lives so that she can be the heart of them. Plus throw in evil stupid people being evil and stupid for the sake of it and an opposing team who’s strategy is to let the other guys win, and you have something that’s like Kevin, only a girl and a furry!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 291 - The Sister of the Spider

Episode 291: The Sister of the Spider

It's hard to be inspiring or majestic while stuffing your face with a breakfast pastry, but dammit he's going to try.

Meet Gabrielle. No, I don't know why. Truth of the matter is, she doesn't really seem to do much. After all, she's definitely not Spider-Man's long lost sister, and is most certainly not the (supposedly) dangerous new supervillain Blackarachnia, no matter what the cameras say. Although she apparently is the Avenger's new house guest, Captain America's new girlfriend and the Red Skull's new science project. But she's got friends (who she hates), an adopted family (who she abandoned) and a whole team of superheroes who love her against all reason and probability. Some come on down and see The Sister of the Spider, and while you're at it, have some bacon waffles.


Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster

Episode 290 - Storm Force, parts 2-3

Episode 290: Storm Force, parts 2-3

Grizzled, emotionally-crippled combat leader John Storm kills spider men with his robot arm to make a better world for all malformed subterranean geniuses!

When you're building a team to take on high-risk assignments fighting against the world's most dangerous terrorists, you want to ensure that team has a foundation of trust and reliability. You want to make sure that it's members can trust each other and will have each other's backs at all times. But since this is Storm Force, that's not what happens. No, instead we prove how much of a manly man John Storm is by having his team members try to kill him and face the inevitable retaliation while not at all evil supergenius Mole looks on in approval. It's insane, it's suicidal, it's self destructive and it's all fun and games in this tale of man versus mutated spider goon! So grab your ninja sword, get on your Concorde and go save some guy, already!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 289 - Dead to the World, chapters 10-15

Episode 289: Dead to the World, chapters 10-15

Once again, suck it up, murder princess.

Warning: Contains explicit sex

You know what’s a good way to bulk out your fic? Constantly repeat the same scene. You know what’s a good way to bulk out your fic? Constantly repeat the same scene while adding a smidgen more to it each time. You know what’s a good way to bulk out your fic? Constantly repeat the same scene while adding a smidgen more to it each time that doesn’t actually reveal anything. You know what’s a good way to bulk out your fic? Constantly repeat the same scene while adding a smidgen more to it each time that doesn’t actually reveal anything but still serves to make your character look impossibly good. You know what’s a good way to bulk out your fic? Constantly repeat the same scene while adding a smidgen more to it each time that doesn’t actually reveal anything but still serves to make your character look impossibly good as they never suffer a single consequence of their actions. That and teenage party games. Sure, there might be something about random rooftop people, but who cares when you can bulk out your fic?

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

March 2015 Update

The last few months have been an interesting couple for Elmer Studios, as can be plainly seen. The unexpected offer of a collaborative MSTing, while awesome, also managed to shoot our schedule all to hell and back. The end result is that we’ve had a lot more B-Team episodes of late then main ones. And even our B-Team schedule slipped, as the Rick R. half of the team took a break for the incredibly fun guest cast.

However, we’re not only back on schedule but we’re looking incredibly good for some time to come. Eps 289, 290 and 291 are in various stages of progress as I type this, and that’s not all. Due to some incredibly generous donations, we’ve got up to episode 308 planned out, and we even have some ideas for after that. Plus, even then, we have a sizable amount in the Strategic Badfic Reserve. And even then, that could go even further depending on how B-Team plans go, as well as a few items that we’re currently looking at.

Even after a top-up, donations are always appreciated, either by comment or emailing us at elmerstudios00 (at) gmail.com. Have a badfic itch to scratch? Then let us know!

Episode 288 - Dead to the World, chapters 1-9

Episode 288: Dead to the World, chapters 1-9

In the Future Tokyo criminal justice system, the people are protected by two separate and equal groups. The Enforcers who apprehend the criminals, and the unknowable machine superintelligence that pronounces them guilty. These are their stories.

Doink-doink

In a world where control and the conflict of individual free will versus the good of society of a whole is a major theme, it’s clear that the best sort of character to explore these ideas is a super-special snowflake loligoth who the entire cast bends over backwards to accommodate. Enter Mikazuki Satsuki, she of the gold-silver eyes, skater dress, elaborately described bedroom and a crime coefficient that suggests that at any moment she could engage in acts of genocide or, at the very least, ruin Christmas. But when the Future Police are confronted with a mystery that, ooh, a five year old could have solved in minutes, she is indispensible to not only screwing up the whole situation and making it worse, but for being congratulated and rewarded for it afterwards. That’s right, It’s a law enforcement vacuum, where the law enforcement are the central cast!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 287: Girl on Fire, chapters 16-18

Episode 287: Girl on Fire, chapters 16-18

News flash! Local woman makes bold statement that fire is indeed hot.

The long running superhero epic The Girl On Fire rockets rapidly towards its staggering conclusion!

Actually, no. No, it doesn't. Much like its overblown cast, it seems to just stand around for a while (in its underwear), pretty much unsure of what to do while it rehashes old plot points (both of them) and repeats itself a few more times. All pains are taken to make sure that nobody does anything (except Phoenix) and that everybody is put out of action (except Phoenix) while they all get filled in on an improbable origin story (except Black Flame - wait, when did he get here?). So join our heroes (?) for... Um, not really much... If you want to... Actually, I'm sure you've got better things to do than take part in The Girl On Fire. The fic certainly doesn't.

Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster

Episode 286 - Angels of Fury, part 3

Episode 286: Angels of Fury, part 3

I have no doubt that high school volleyball is instrumental to her crime fighting career

Warning: Contains descriptions of child abuse

You see that warning and you know what it means; that’s right more of the alleged Superheroic stories of the Angels of Fury. And as always, it doesn’t let up, no matter how much you beg and plead with it to do such. Instead we delve into the origin stories of Improperly Capitalised Narutard Girl, Cosmic Space Thingy Girl, Fake British Batwoman, Muscle Girl Fetish Lass, Electric Mutant Girl, Radioactive Cultist Girl, Gender-Bender Silver Surfer Girl, Accidentally Transgendered Inventor Lass, Real Estate Agent Woman and the one that I cannot actually find a single funny name for because I’m crying on the inside. That’s right, it’s everything you dislike about the internet, superheroes, roleplayers, Canada and volleyball all in one convenient package!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Damien Hawker, Kari Montero and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: KayEmm and Rick R.

Episode 285 - Darth Hypnus - The Invasion of Bothawui and the Final Insult

Episode 285: Darth Hypnus - The Invasion of Bothawui and the Final Insult

I mean, these are all just from the same mad lib generator, right?

As war comes to the planet BOTHAWUI, the indecisive bounty hunter XARTT(H)AN VISZLA takes a break from pining over his IMAGINARY GIRLFRIEND to…

SOMETHING. I can’t lie and pretend these are exciting any more. Instead you get the SAME RP BIO just with a SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT SKIN and a few MINOR TWEAKS. And added to that you get a bunch of REALY SLEEZY PORNO SETUPS that sound like they were written by GIGGLING SCHOOLBOYS who were SNEAKING SMOKES behind the DUNNY at RECESS.

So have the FINAL INSULT that is DARTH HYPNUS and enjoy watching any SHREDS OF DECENCY go OUT THE WINDOW.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 284 - Justice X

Episode 284: Justice X

Oh great, Sparkle Girl's hogging the teacher.

From the Hall of Justice and Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters comes an epic tale of… Well, not much, really. Actually, we’re not even sure what the Hall of Justice has to do with this; it just had “Justice League/X-Men Crossover” on the nameplate and mentioned the Wonder Twins, but that’s about it. What it does have however is Rebekah Wayne (AKA Sparkle Girl), vaguely related to some guy called Bruce (nobody important). Possibly a Mutant or a Bang Baby, she has the power to distort characterization and generate a black hole of attention from which no plotline can escape. So join Wolverine, Wonder Woman, Professor X, Detective Ellen Yin (who?) and Katherine Xavier nobody else that matters as they stand mutely in witness of Sparkle Girl vs The Wonder Twins!

Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster

Episode 283 - Angels of Fury, part 2

Episode 283: Angels of Fury, part 2

Child genius becomes disillusioned with the world. Doomsday weapons can be the only logical next step

Warning: Contains descriptions of child abuse

Nothing says ‘Superhero Role-Play Happy Fun Times’ more than a big ol’ content warning like that at the front, does it? And with that, you know it’s more of the Angels of Fury, a superhero group not at all defined by the creepy fetishes of their creators, no siree bob. Still, in there we do have some ‘unique’ origin stories as the girl who got powers from performing black magic rituals with the Large Hadron Collider, the failed archeologist with the power to turn pink, the hobo squatter enchantress, the alien with the power to make gay robots horny, the invisible French girl (from England) and Generic Odious Child Genius. (Sadly there’s no Kung Fu Wizard, but that won’t stop us from forcing the gag anyway). So sit back, sacrifice small animals to elder gods, build doomsday devices out of household goods and pretend to enjoy the show!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Damien Hawker, Kari Montero and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: KayEmm and Rick R.

January 2015 update

December was an admittedly slow month for us. Real Life managed to get in the way of everything and slowed our output to next to nothing. However, we are over the proverbial hump and are making positive progress towards our next few MSTings. Episodes 283, 284 and 285 are all in progress and should begin dropping soon (maybe even by the end of the week), with more episodes up to about 288 already lined up.

In 2015, we’ll be aiming to have at least two episodes done per month. A big part of that will be expanding our horizons a little; we’ve lined up some fics from shows/franchises that we have never covered here before which has a lot of potential for good material. And yes, a lot of potential for hurt. There’s also some new stuff coming from authors that we’ve covered here before, which also promises to be a strange amount of fun. Some of them might even be the author you’re thinking of.

Speaking of the Strategic Badic Reserve has been somewhat renewed, but as always donations are appreciated. You can post them in the comments here, or email us at elmerstudios00 (at) gmail.com. You never know; in past, donations have yielded us some fantastic results.