Episode 512: Cyberpunk I: 2089, chapters 10-13

Episode 512: Cyberpunk I: 2089, chapters 10-13

Meantime I'll be waiting over here with Uncle Ben, Marlene Rush, Porkins, Dennis Nedry and the entire cast of Halo Reach.

As Van's plan to get everyone killed for the sake of making a point advances, Kali continues to be aggressively unlikeable, Carlos stands by the side of a road and waits, Vito swims in cop cliches and Lexi remains unsure if she's actually in this fic. What does this mean? I'm really not sure, actually, as all these disparate plot threads really seem to have nothing to do with each other and really don't seem to be coming together at all. So promise to go with the dance when you're three days from retirement and wave all the other death flags for the next chunk of Cyberpunk 2089. And please, please, for the love of god please send OCs.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 511 - Cyberpunk I: 2089, chapters 6-9

Episode 511: Cyberpunk I: 2089, chapters 6-9

We now return you to ‘sad guy argues with kid,’ already in progress.

As Cyberpunk 2089 continues, we’re faced with one very big question; what does any of this have to do with anything? How is any of this going to come together at all? What's the connection between Van's incredibly stupid revenge plan and Vito's festival of cop movie clichés? And more to the point, do we actually care? I don't and I suspect you don't either. So sit back, relax and grab a soylent green burrito with your buddies Blue Jeans Code, Jumpsuit Janet, Mini-Disk and Pantsless Joe for the next few chapters of Cyberpunk 2089. And send OCs. Please send OCs. I’m begging you as I can't write the fic if you don't.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 510 - Cyberpunk I: 2089, chapters 1-5

Episode 510: Cyberpunk I: 2089, chapters 1-5

He has a leathery earlobe, if that helps.

Welcome to Night City in the year 2089 where literally nothing has changed in over a decade and the status quo seems to be enforced by law. It’s a city with a million stories, and you might end up actually reading some of them as a collection of random idiots stumble around through overly forced introductions in an effort to make you the reader decide which one of them you dislike the most. So you better get used to Nomad Kid, Street Kid, Odious Jogging Girl, Idiot Corpo and Cop Movie Cliché Guy because we're in for the long run with the first part of Cyberpunk I: 2089. Please send OCs. No, please, I’m begging you.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 509 - Fallout: United Carolina Republic, chapters 9-14

Episode 509: Fallout: United Carolina Republic, chapters 9-14

So in short, I think we should change the name back to Columbia because raiders wiped out my hometown and I had sex with Zoey.

In this, the next set of alphanumeric characters that constitutes Fallout: United Carolina Republic, John shows up, issues arbitrary orders, effortlessly slaughters his inept opponents and is congratulated for it. But treachery is looming in the form of the return of his greatest enemy, Enclave John. Yes, that is the character's name. Please stop laughing. So as the narrative collapses in on itself get your ridiculously convenient excavator, your manky bear pelt and the tragic(?) death the fic has been threatening all along for the final chunks of Fallout: United Carolina Republic. But really, his name is Enclave John. We're not making that up.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 508 - Fallout: United Carolina Republic, chapters 5-8

Episode 508: Fallout: United Carolina Republic, chapters 5-8

The symbol of the notorious raider gang, the poop shovel gun bears.

Warning: Contains explicit sex

John has sex with Zoey. This development is vitally important because it means that John had sex with his girlfriend Zoey who is his girlfriend because she loves him because they have sex. This deeply developed and emotionally compelling relationship forms the heart of this story. Just kidding. It’s mostly about John ordering a mass killing and everyone being okay with this. So get your newspaper headlines, your killer robots and hang out with Father and Son for the next four chapters of Fallout: United Carolina. No really, they never get any names beyond Father and Son and are constantly referred to as such throughout. You'd think somebody would have noticed by now.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 507 - Fallout: United Carolina Republic, chapters 1-4

Episode 507: Fallout: United Carolina Republic, chapters 1-4

Besides, I’ve never shanked a Lizard Man before. It was kinda fun.

Meet John. He’s the president of the United Carolina Republic. Who is he, what does he do and what is this nation that he supposedly runs? Doesn’t matter at all. What does matter is listing everyone’s weapons and what modifications they have in detail, and boy does this fic have you covered. But if that’s not enough, you get to watch John meet people, hand out arbitrary orders and generally be stupid and have everyone agree with him which is just as thrilling as it sounds. So get your ported extended long calibrated sniper’s Pipe Bolt-Action Gun and cannibalise your neighbours for the first four chapters of Fallout: the United Carolina Republic. May or may not contain Radcoons.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 506: Genesis Climber MOSPEADA: Genesis Breakers, chapters 9-12

Episode 506: Genesis Climber MOSPEADA: Genesis Breakers, chapters 9-12

And if you can't trust an incomprehensible alien superintelligence, then who?

Meet Patterson. He's a one-man transhumanist clone conspiracy that has infiltrated the Martian military at every single level as a part of a plan to de-terraform Earth in order to ensure the superiority of his own personal agenda. And of you're wondering what this has to do with anything else, then you’re not alone as the entire story just takes a hard left turn off a cliff, throwing away everything we've seen so far for an ending that is so out of nowhere that it’s impossible to connect to the rest of the fic.* So it's time to say a fond farewell to Stomach, Observer 6543321, Thomas Wisette and Cindy the Wolf Sniper for the last chunk of Genesis Climber MOSPEADA: Genesis Breakers. It's an ending so good that you'll feel mad for all the time you spent reading it.

*Not a fanfic.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.