Episode 463 - After Cybertron, chapters 5-7

Episode 463: After Cybertron, chapters 5-7

He qualified for being a Spectre by running through a maze, ringing a bell and getting a piece of cheese

Now that Optimus Prime has had his regular round of dying and coming back to life, we can get back to what this fic is really about; that’s right, introducing characters. But this part of After Cybertron gives us an extra special treat! Not just do we have more random pointless Transformers in random pointless side-plots, but we also get to meet the author’s totally amazing, incredibly original OC complete with getting his tragic backstory dumped on us in the most awkward way possible. So get your cyberarm and your useless alt-mode for the last portion of After Cybertron! Also Shepard is in this, but you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 462 - After Cybertron, chapters 3-4

Episode 462: After Cybertron, chapters 3-4

Hunting helicopter gunships, much like the Tyrannosaurus did millions of years ago

Saren and Sovereign have launched their assault on the Citadel, aiming to summon the Reapers and wipe out all life in the galaxy! Shepard is faced with an impossible decision in the battle to save all life. Except then a bunch of Transformers come along and effortlessly stomp everything while she stands around and goes ‘yay’ or something while draining every last hint of tension from the story. And so as the ominous guy says ominous things and the Transformers conceal themselves by going on giant robot rampage through the middle of the city you can enjoy some more chunks of After Cybertron. Eye-searing 90s colour schemes not included.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 461 - After Cybertron, chapters 1-2

Episode 461: After Cybertron, chapters 1-2

Oh hey. Massive hole in space-time. Didn’t see that coming.

The race is on to save the Galaxy, which means that Commander Shepard needs to drop everything she’s doing and sit through a lengthy PowerPoint presentation. Yes, that’s the basic premise of our newest fic in which the only force capable of rescuing civilisation from an army of killer space robots is another army of killer space robots, but only after they deliver a helping heap of pace-stumping exposition that nobody actually needed to know and that the readers were likely familiar with anyway. So throw a couch out the window and get your OC love interest for the first portion of After Cybertron. And remember, you had to ask.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 460 - Pack Rat - Sins of the Father, chapters 12-13

Episode 460: Pack Rat - Sins of the Father, chapters 12-13

And this is why stupid people should not be allowed near operating theatres

Pack Rat has completed his lifelong goal of revenge. Doctor Medford is dead, his base destroyed and his army of killer catgirls are no more. Which is a bit of a problem given that we’re only halfway through the fic, making you wonder what it’s actually going to do next. If you’d guessed ‘gripping medical drama’ then you’d be pleasantly surprised. But if you’d also guessed ‘Pack Rat continues to be a whiny creep’ then, well, you got that one right as well. So head on up to the airship with your bigfoot drugs and your fruit smoothies for the conclusion to Pack Rat – Sins of the Father. Or is it?!

Actually, yes, it is.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 459 - Pack Rat - Sins of the Father, chapters 7-11

Episode 459: Pack Rat - Sins of the Father, chapters 7-11

Leave him alone with drugs and a loaded gun. Great work there, Bigfoot.

The unamazing adventures of Pack Rat continue as he takes drugs, oggles catgirls, broods, counts his guns and pauses only to wonder why he’s still single. Having penetrated the lair of the cartoonishly evil terrorists he reaches his goal only to be shocked by a plot twist that is not only very predictable but is also so incredibly stupid that it undermines the rest of the fic. Will Pack Rat escape? Will the Huntresses not be acutely useless? Will Ken anything? Get your fold-up rocket launcher and your free Canadian healthcare for another amazing round of Pack Rat – Sins of the Father and maybe you’ll find out. But probably not.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 458 - Pack Rat - Sins of the Father, chapters 1-6

Episode 458: Pack Rat - Sins of the Father, chapters 1-6

The mysterious alien visitor from beyond known as... Ken.

The only thing standing between evil snake-themed supertech terrorists and world domination is a team consisting of Rat Fink, Edgelord the Werewolf, Future Space Lizardman and someone’s Undertale OC. Which means that we’re probably in a lot of trouble, not that it really matters for this fic. What it’s mostly about is the titular rat man hiding out in his basement, building bombs, polishing his guns, brooding, plotting revenge, being generally hostile to everyone around him and wondering why nobody likes him. So load up your oversized compensation revolver, grab some health packs and smash some outdoor furniture for Pack Rat – Sins of the Father. Warning, contains stupid sexy catboys.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 457 - Batman: the Future Knight, chapters 7-8

Episode 457: Batman: the Future Knight, chapters 7-8

Scene of Batman punching rats omitted for time

In this chunk of fanfiction-like object, Batman takes a break from saving the Galaxy from a poorly defined threat to brush his teeth, cook dinner, play minigames and collect trophies. Yes, it’s side quests galore as our story grinds to a halt, punctuated only by long, drawn-out fight scenes and, as a change, a flashback to another long drawn-out fight scene and then the promise of some more long, drawn-out fight scenes to come. So get your collectables, your rat funnels and your dead robot for the final portion of Batman the Future Knight. Oh, and there might also be some person called Shepard or something. I dunno. They’re probably not important.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.