Episode 503 - Bubblegum Force, chapters 6-7

Episode 503: Bubblegum Force, chapters 6-7

The dystopian cyberpunk artisan cheese shop district

After an interminable eternity of faffing around punctuated with awkward silences and school meetings, the plot of Bubblegum Force finally starts in its final section. Evil Genom executive Patrick J. Starfish launches his evil plan to do something evil only to immediately be undercut by everyone around him and then be killed off anyway without accomplishing anything before the fic begrudgingly gives us the robot fight we've been hanging out for. So get your discrete laser-armed space shuttle and your most subtle giant war robot for the final portion of Bubblegum Force, which features a genuinely unexpected twist in as far as Largo doesn't return.

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 502 - Bubblegum Force, chapters 4-5

Episode 502: Bubblegum Force, chapters 4-5

Oh yeah. Those moon guys are the worst

Dear lavender haired girl. All I was trying to do was inexplicably menace a small child when you walked into my life. You looked so small and dainty in your dress that it was hard for me not to laugh at you despite the fact that I am merely a murderous robot. And yet, I felt so angry at your interruption that I wanted to destroy you there on the spot, my mission utterly forgotten. I took a swing at you, but you caught my hand in yours, without any effort. You looked at me with your curious amber eyes and that mysterious smile as you then effortlessly crushed my hand in yours. But in truth, you crushed the mechanical fuel pump that passes for my heart.

Bubblegum Force, won’t you?

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 501 - Bubblegum Force, chapters 2-3

Episode 501: Bubblegum Force, chapters 2-3

I feel safe in your arms, killer robot

In order to maintain a low profile, Lufy joins the ADP as a combat pilot with an obviously fake resume that wouldn't hold up under scrutiny. Naturally everyone accepts this without question, especially after she goes out on an unauthorised mission that results in multiple deaths and more chunks of the city blowing up. Her plan of course was to add even more Gall Force characters to the fic (Shildy, Catty II, whats-her-name and the other one) which won't clutter up this narrative in the slightest. So, light a cigarette as you drive a tanker full of highly explosive fuel through a densely populated residential areas for the second part of Bubblegum Force. And ignore the way that Catty and Sylia are glowering at each other. Nothing going on there at all, no sir.

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 500 - Bubblegum Force, chapter 1

Episode 500: Bubblegum Force, chapter 1

Sometimes crashing into the moon actually is the better option.

After spending two million years sleeping off being exploded, Rabby wakes up to find that she's in an alien world completely disconnected from her own. Fortunately, Lufy is also there having just gotten over dying yet again, so the two of them do the only logical thing possible and steal a motorcycle. They happen to run into totally legitimate businesswoman Sylia Stingray who is willing to give them shelter, support and a fully equipped workshop with an industrial steel press, no questions asked. So if you have questions about the nature of life, death, reincarnation and if Genom's cryogenics research will get funding then cast them all aside for the first chapter of Bubblegum Force. Patty's on her own.

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 454 - Snakes in MegaTokyo

Episode 454: Snakes in MegaTokyo

Eyewitnesses reported two heavily armed soldiers wearing the uniforms of a known terrorist organisation carrying an unconscious man off before loading him into a black jet fighter that then flew away, but we don’t think there’s a connection

In a break from the usual killer robot rampages, MegaTokyo is instead attacked by evil snake-themed terrorists as a part of their plan to sell action figures. Fortunately, the Knight Sabers are there to deal with a tense hostage situation by going in all guns blazing and dispensing justice with a series of crotch kicks, but things still go horribly wrong despite this brilliant plan. Will Sylia escape the clutches of Cobra? Will Mackie remember the proper clean-up procedures at work? Will Rick ever make a second Grand Mal joke? As you ponder these matters, grab yourself a stolen uniform and can of Uncle Wilikins Grape Soda for Snakes in MegaTokyo. It’s the most eighties crossover you can think of!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 453 - A Trek Into the Past, chapter 3

Episode 453: A Trek Into the Past, chapter 3

But if you inadvertently erase me from history then I’m never going to speak to you again.

Having found themselves trapped in the past, our trio of brave explorers (Doctor, Vulcan and Girl) must contend with their own stupidity and apparent need to make everything even more difficult for themselves then it is already. And as if walking around being as blatantly obvious to everyone around them isn’t bad enough, there’s also the daily killer robot attack to deal with. Can Doctor Guy save the day and cure a bad case of disembowelment? Will Quincy shout at more random scientists? Will the USSD subplot go anywhere? Read on in A Trek to the Past for the unsurprising answers to these and not much else. Now featuring a glossary!

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 452 - A Trek Into the Past, chapters 1-2

Episode 452: A Trek Into the Past, chapters 1-2

He needs to sleep off being exploded

Hurled through time by an exploding spaceship, a group of rookie Starfleet officers are forced to survive in the hostile retro-cyberpunk dystopia of Mega-Tokyo. Cut off from all their support, all they have to rely on is their wits, cunning and skill. Which means with this bunch that they’re in real trouble as they have the collective intellect of a tribble and an amazing ability to not only make bad decisions and double down on them but to be as blatantly obvious about it as possible. So get your hat and your space lasers for A Trek Into the Past! May contain traces of Knight Sabers.

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 404 - Bubblegum Shift, chapter 5

Episode 404: Bubblegum Shift, chapter 5

Helping build a better murderbot for a brighter tomorrow

You’d think that when a key member of your secret conspiracy has lost their memory that the best thing to do would be to sit on them and make sure that nobody tries to take advantage of this development. So naturally, Rob and Kathy decide to let Jim “Nightfart” Williams run around on his own, take his helicopter gunship out for a spin and angrily ride his motorcycle off over the horizon with nary a concern. And yet, they both have the gall to be surprised when one of Jim’s many, many enemies essentially kidnaps him and effortlessly cons him into turning against them. Yes, it’s all that you’ve come to expect from this fic only with more rambling author manifestos. So get your best fake Tennessee accent and optional tiger for the final part of Bubblegum Shift. Note: not a conclusion at all.

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 403 - Bubblegum Shift, chapter 4

Episode 403: Bubblegum Shift, chapter 4

I see nothing that could go wrong with letting a heavily armed masked mercenary vigilante walk around our secret and highly illegal base

James “Darkwind” Williams, immortal shapeshifter, billionaire CEO, member of an ancient conspiracy and recreational helicopter gunship pilot has amnesia. Faced with this terrible development, people stand around and talk about it. And that’s it, really. That’s all that happens in this chapter. Still, we find out that DarkWind was ready to launch a full-scale war for control of MegaTokyo that would have destroyed the city because the good guy and that his secret arsenal of tanks was for purely peaceful purposes, and that’s something, I guess. Not like there’s much else going on, really. So plug into your proprietary charger and blab out all your deepest secrets for the next slab of Bubblegum Shift! It’s got a killer car, or something.

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 402 - Bubblegum Shift, chapter 3

Episode 402: Bubblegum Shift, chapter 3

You’re an eccentric billionaire CEO. Taking your bike to the track for the weekend is perfectly normal. Hell, you can shoot it into space and be hailed as a genius.

The war between the two near identical shapeshifter conspiracies heats up as those guys send out killer robots to attack those other guys. And if that description seems rather vague and useless, then treasure it as it’s about as good a summary of the plot of this fic as I can actually manage. Having lost his giant office building in a robot attack, Jim moves in with Kathy so he can plot his next move from the comfort of her sofa. Does Kathy get a say in this? Probably not, but it’s not like she’s an actual person anyway, so who cares, right? Meanwhile, we vaguely allude to that one Bubblegum Crisis episode with the car (you know, that one) and have an awkward dinner date and some office politics in the name of slowly edging the plot along in this next chunk of Bubblegum Shift. Now with some guy called Bert!

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 401 - Bubblegum Shift, chapter 2

Episode 401: Bubblegum Shift, chapter 2

I mean, he could be illegally flying a heavily armed helicopter gunship around a major metropolis for purely benign reasons.

Given that this is a gripping action story of killer robots, high-tech vigilantes, immortal shapeshifter conspiracies and helicopter gunships, the next chapter of Bubblegum Shift is about exactly what you expect. That’s right, corporate land deals and the associated rezoning disputes. And if that doesn’t thrill you, then I suppose you could go with the idea of a gripping robot battle in which you have to ask why anyone built an office tower with extensive anti-missile defences and a self-destruct system, because to me that sounds like the work of a slightly unhinged mind. So take a seat at your hardwood desk with attendant minigun turrets for the next part of Bubblegum Shift for a thrilling round of saving Sho’s Mother’s life. Whatever her name is.

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 400 - Bubblegum Shift, chapter 1

Episode 400: Bubblegum Shift, chapter 1

They’re here to kick arse and chew Bubblegum Crisis, and they’re all out of Bubblegum Crisis.

When two sinister immortal shapeshifter conspiracies go to war in the futuristic metropolis of Mega-Tokyo, it’s up to Jim ‘Darkwind’ Williams (yes, this really is his name) to try and make sure that the right sinister immortal shapeshifter conspiracy wins. To this end, he must move subtly and discretely, and by that I mean he’s going to fly around in a heavily armed helicopter gunship blowing stuff up. In the meantime, his partner Kathy is going to infiltrate an elite supertech police force with a threadbare cover for no apparent reason, but this is still all a part of his plan. All this plus killer robots and maybe some guys called the Knight Sabers and you have the first portion of Bubblegum Shift. It’s very nineties in a retro-eighties way!

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 357 - Knight Moves, chapters 5-6

Episode 357: Knight Moves, chapters 5-6

Happy singularity event, dear!

So far, Knight Moves has given us a lot. It’s given us stupid people posturing while pretending that they’re geniuses. It’s given us boring one-sided fights. It’s given us an incredibly awkward lunch date. And it’s given us a really stupid prison break-out. So now that it’s bringing all these plot points together for something that might possibly advance the simulacrum of a plot, what more can it offer? Why yes, its recaps of all those previous points for those of you who had somehow missed the entire fic so far. But fortunately, that’s not all it gives us. Why yes, we also get to see the exact same fight scenes as we’ve had so far complete with the exact same twist that wasn’t even exciting the first time around! And then, finally, when the fic looks like it’s actually going to go somewhere it capitalises on that momentum only to stop and never be worked on again ever. Are you excited, because I know I'm not!


Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 355 - Knight Moves, chapters 3-4

Episode 355: Knight Moves, chapters 3-4

I tried to mid probe her, but she shot back with brain bullets. Why are you looking at me like that?

There have been many daring prison break-outs in fiction, but none like the one presented in the second chunk of Knight Moves! With a well-paced insider on their team, super-evil murderbot Erika proceeds with a plan that is not only needlessly over-complicated for the sake of it, but also traps them and the person they were rescuing inside the prison with no way out while surrounded by killer robots! Brilliant! It’s genius like this that makes this work of derivative fanfic wholly original cyberpunk fiction the well-regarded work that it is today (Because, you know, we’re all reading Sound and Light right now!) Meanwhile, Dick Chaser falls down a hole, goes on an awkward lunch date, exposits about his super powers, drinks lots of water and is generally unpleasant to everybody that he meets. But that’s okay, because he’s a Nice Guy. He said so.


Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 354 - Knight Moves, chapters 1-2

Episode 354: Knight Moves, chapters 1-2

This has been two idiots negotiating.

Meet Dick Chaser*, corporate spy, raider, cyborg superman, pizza connoisseur and all-around idiot. Meet William Ackerman, gratuitously evil cooperate overlord and also an idiot. Meet Jason Chandler, also a gratuitously evil cooperate overlord and, once again, an idiot. These three are the core characters from Light and Sound, an original Cyberpunk story about intrigue, espionage, the price of power or some other junk like that. But why are they here? Because they’ve been crudely shoehorned into Bubblegum Crisis for the sake of skipping out on the world-building. So you get all the fun of watching really stupid people negotiate, try to find their way around Tokyo to the nearest rollercoaster and just ask to be subject to some police brutality all the while knowing there are more interesting people in the background who you could be reading about instead! Also, Largo is there because it’s a BGC fic and that’s the rules.

*Yes, that is his name


Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 350 - Bubblegum Wars

Episode 350: Bubblegum Wars

I think “escape” is too strong a word. “Casual stroll” would better describe their getaway.

Plucked from the depths of the mid-nineties comes Bubblegum Wars, a fic whose title alone deserves no further explanation. Which is good, by the way, because sure as hell it’s not going to offer you any at all. Instead it drops you straight into the action without thought to plot, story, character, premise or plausibility in the hope that you’ll be too busy gawping like an overly-excited twelve year old to realise just how bad it is. What it does offer is Rik, the amazing new guy who… is not as stupid as his captors… I guess? Really? He’s there, and he does something, I suppose, but he does seem to be a little strangely redundant to this already threadbare plot. Throw in good old BGC Fanfic Cliché #1 (You know the one) and a setup for a sequel that never materialised and you have the sequence of ASCII characters that is Bubblegum Wars. (Great Spirit of space be with you and all that)


Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 330 - Bubblegum Climax: Dark Horizon, chapters 3-4 and appendix

Episode 330: Bubblegum Climax: Dark Horizon, chapters 3-4 and appendix

Just gently reminding you once more that you might not want to stand around in the exploding factory.

Dark Horizon is a scathing demonstration of what happens when international agencies try to overstep jurisdictional boundaries through the actions of a single rouge operative following a personal agenda, as per illustrated through the medium of robots blowing stuff up. And boy, is there a lot of that to go around; so much so that the fix needed to cut extraneous matters (Like plot, story, characterization and nuance) to fit it all in. So while agent lly (Ully? Illy? Willy?) conducts her personal investigation/crazed revenge trip, Leon props her up, Sylia goes to a shareholder meeting and Nene does the computer stuff that is apparently her only defining trait, as she really doesn’t have anything else to do anyway. All this plus the same fight scene dragged out ad infinitum! It’s wiz, chummer.


Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 329 - Bubblegum Climax: Dark Horizon, chapters 1-2

Episode 329: Bubblegum Climax: Dark Horizon, chapters 1-2

To hide the evil robot factory, they disguised it as a dairy. And then to conceal that, they disguised it as a Bioweapons lab. Nobody will suspect a thing.

As civil war rocks the generic Euro-Middle Eastern nation of Alafaya, armies of evil killer death robots commit atrocities such as stomping prize azaleas and crossing against the lights. With international authorities powerless to stop them, it’s going to need one woman to take the law into her own hands. Enter lly (It’s pronounced how it’s spelt) a gratuitous pet OC who is willing to steal top secret prototypes and Shanghai a cop into her mind-numbingly illegal operation. And since it’s Leon, he’s okay with all of this because, you know, girls. So head on down to your local secret evil robot factory and maybe compare the benefits of driving a hybrid soccer mom van for Bubblegum Climax: Dark Horizon. Oh yeah, there’s also some chicks in suits called the Knight Sabers or something in there too.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 318 - Bubblegum Crisis Urban Hunter

Episode 318: Bubblegum Crisis Urban Hunter

His years of police training and practical experience allowed him to determine that the guy was indeed dead. That and, you know, he was thrown out a window, fell five stories and hit a car.

Did I mention that it’s hot, because it’s hot. And in case I didn’t mention that it’s hot, I feel that I should say that it’s hot because of how hot it is. But the heat is not the only thing plaguing MegaTokyo, as hard-boiled macho-man cop Leon McNichol has to deal with rampaging robots (caused by the heat), bank robbers, car crashes and interfering government agents. But when some guys are killed by something in some place, he can’t just blame it on how hot it is, and instead has to go out and investigate this grizzly affair by standing around, having coffee, committing perjury and above all else, complaining about the heat. Sure there might be something about a massive data theft and sabotage of Genom’s latest murderbot design, but mostly it’s about the heat. (Oh, and there might also be a Predator and the Knight Sabers too. Maybe. I can’t tell because it’s so hot.)

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 301 - Esper Chronicles

Episode 301: Esper Chronicles

He'd subjected them all to the Turing test to be sure. A couple of them flunked and had to re-sit it the next semester.

The adventures of Kyrind Brandford Locke Sommerville continue begin in Esper Chronicles, the sequel prequel replacement something to Tales of the Red Knight Saber! After spending a hard day of staring blankly at a rock with a minor side in exploding robots with his brain, alleged hero and sometimes police officer Locke heads out to a Chinese restaurant so he can enjoy seventeen hours of interminable Ranma cameos while using his incredible powers to invade everyone’s privacy without their knowledge and consent. But it’s not all fun and games as Largo comes back from the dead and unveils some secret plan that involves hotel renovations while Sylia recounts the times she fought Zoanoids and fanfics based on fanfics contradict other fanfics based on fanfics. All this plus a kind of sort of appearance from some guy called Bert that is both minor and regrettable at the same time!

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.