Episode 437 - Storm Force: K-Squad

Episode 437: Storm Force: K-Squad

Porcupine has to share a locker room with Magnus. After that, there’s nothing you can do or say to frighten him

They’ve fought mutant spider goons, a man wearing a suit that was permanently on fire, a Zombie with a nuclear arsenal and a robot wizard. After all that, half a dozen guys with guns seems somewhat irrelevant as opponents and a somewhat anticlimactic conclusion. But here we are at the end of Battle as Storm Force fight for survival against declining sales and editorial mandates. And with nothing to lose, our brave band of designated heroes prepare for the fight of their lives to see if they will make the jump to Eagle or end up forgotten in the bottom of a filing cabinet somewhere. So grab your machine gun, your pit full of landmines and the stick of dynamite you always keep on you for emergencies for Storm Force. This is a big news issue!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Matt Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 427 - Storm Force: Operation Mole Machine, parts 5-9

Episode 427: Storm Force: Operation Mole Machine, parts 5-9

To reiterate the point, a man on a hang-glider is shooting spiders at people. Yes, this is entirely serious

As Magnus remains in a state of total brain malfunction due to a spider bite and female operative Stiletto is once again effortlessly kidnapped, heroic combat leader John Storm (and maybe those other three guys) race against time to stop half-man, half-spider terrorist leader from drilling into their secret underground lair. And yes, this entirely serious, why do you ask? But first they must overcome the dreaded jet-powered remote-controlled spider bomb and face the might of Pinky-Puff, the terror of Harrow Lane. Will they succeed? Probably. Will the status quo be reset as if nothing happened? Of course. It’s Storm Force, so what did you expect? So get your tea and biscuits and pick your best weapon arm for Operation Mole Machine. Also featuring a non-machine mole!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Matt Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 419 - Storm Force: Operation Mole Machine, parts 1-4

 Episode 419: Storm Force: Operation Mole Machine, parts 1-4

Due to a Mole Machine incident at Leicester Square station, delays are expected on the Piccadilly Circus line.

Did you know that Spider Bites cause mental breakdowns? Or that Harrow Lane has a new sports centre? Or that after losing his arm in combat, John Storm was fitted with a prosthesis that can support a variety of weapons? All of which means it’s time for another thrilling chunk of Storm Force, featuring our favourite bunch of substitute heroes as they fight to save their dying comic from cancellation. And in this exciting sequence of panels, Storm Force’s mole machine has been stolen by one of their team for reasons unknown. Can they find out why? Can they stop the machine’s deadly rampage? Will Storm resist the urge to fire into crowds of civilians? Will Stiletto be effortlessly captured? The answer to one of these will surprise you, but only one. So get oiled up and lift some weights for Operation Mole Machine!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Matt Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 386: Storm Force - The man who stole Polaris, parts 5-9

Episode 386: Storm Force: The man who stole Polaris, parts 5-9

Listen to the one-armed man with the sword telling you to shoot the zombie’s computer. He’s talking sense.

When you think about it, zombie hitman Alexander Kruise is just living the dream of every American. I mean, who hasn’t wanted to blow up the president with a nuclear bomb delivered in a shark-shaped, laser armed battle car? (Don’t answer that). And so, once again, it falls to our designated protagonists in Storm Force to save the day from his poorly defined evil plan to do something bad for some reason that really escapes us. So once again grab your razor disc, your exo-skeleton and your rocket propelled sheep scarers and be prepared to be shocked as Mikron actually does something in this gripping tale torn from the pages of Battle the inevitable grip of entropy!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Matt Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 378 - Storm Force: The man who stole Polaris, parts 1-4

Episode 378: Storm Force: The man who stole Polaris, parts 1-4

Status: In the middle of exploding.

Imagine that you are the editor of Battle, a comic founded on the ideals of subverting authority through war stories that were gritty and heroic, but not romantic. Now imagine that the newest story has crossed your desk. It’s about a zombie stealing nuclear missiles to take over the world, and the only people who can stop him are a group of gun-toting maniacs who drive around in a shark-shaped car shooting lasers at people. And now imagine that you’re accepting this, because you know it lets the hollow shell of your once-proud comic can stave off succumbing to the inevitable for another two months. That’s right, dear readers, we have hit peak Storm Force. It doesn’t get too much better – and worse – than this.

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Matt Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 370 - Storm Force: Man of Fire

Episode 370: Storm Force: Man of Fire

Suddenly, a massive asteroid strikes the Earth. The impact shatters continents, vaporises oceans and ignites the atmosphere, leading to the extinction of all multicellular life. Bruno Demonski immediately crawls out of the rubble unscathed and shouts “You cannot stop the man of fire!”

When your life’s work proves to be a failure, it’s hard not to be despondent. Some people try to see what went wrong and find some way to fix their mistakes and move forwards. Others instead opt to quite literally set the entire world on fire in a festival of cartoon supervillainy. And since this is Storm Force, I think you can guess what brilliant inventor Bruno Demonski chooses to do. That’s right, it’s another all action, all fire, all explosions (but no Jenga) tale of our favourite group of substitute action heroes as they fight for whatever the hell it is they fight for in an effort to prop up a dying comic book. So grab your best fire suit, your flamethrower arm and your one-man attack helicopter and make the most minimal effort possible for Man of Fire.

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 363: Storm Force - The Wizard's Challenge, parts 4-7

Episode 363: Storm Force: The Wizard's Challenge, parts 4-7

Your mastery over cosmic powers before mortal comprehension is no match for his mundane rock!

Given the choice between introducing new and unexpected elements into the world and falling back on the well-established clichés and lazy writing it prefers, Storm Force unerringly opts for the latter in this, the second half of The Wizard’s Challenge. Having spent about a three hundred pages picking off the members of the titular team of murderous psychos one at a time through his amazing magical powers, Mortak is revealed to be a robot who was doing it all with smoke and mirrors all along. Yes, it’s an amazing plot twist comparable to that of an average episode of Scooby Doo, only with slightly more killer robots (Slightly). Throw in a jarringly out of place ending that completely ignores that devastating disasters that set up the story in the first place and it’s a wrap! Merry Christmas!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 359 - Storm Force: The Wizard's Challenge, parts 1-3

Episode 359: Storm Force: The Wizard's Challenge, parts 1-3

At this point, I suspect that the writing process had devolved into ‘they try to kill Mortak for six pages. Let’s knock off and go to the pub while we still have jobs.’

Terrible disasters strike across the globe, threatening major cities! Who or what could be behind these calamities? Why yes, a wizard did it, and yes, I am being entirely serious about this as well. In response to this supernatural threat, Storm Force deals with the situation by doing what they do best, and by that I mean blundering around a death-trap laden castle while being picked off one at a time, preferably after announcing their signature weapon for the benefit of readers who might have forgotten who they are since last week. Can brave and always correct combat leader John Storm overcome Mortak of the Nagam, with his twin powers of lighting and announcing that he is Mortak of the Nagam? Or will the comic fold first? Read on and find out, if you dare!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 339 - Storm Force, parts 4-6

Episode 339: Storm Force, parts 4-6

Living your life one Great News For All Readers at a time

And now after years of anticipation (not really), the final part of the origin of Storm Force can be told! After spending an eternity farting around with robot arms, experimental microsurgery, expository walk and talks and trying to kill the rest of his team, brave pyromaniac designated protagonist John Storm is ready to lead his men into deadly danger against the dreaded half-man, half-spider Tarantula! Will Storm succeed? Will Porcupine follow through on the threat that is his sole character trait? Will Mikron do anything? Will Wolf hold up a TV? Will anyone actually remember that agent Winston, the supposed objective of this whole farce, actually exists? The answers to all these questions won’t even mildly surprise you, but here they are no less!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Art Fail - Barticus

Behold Barticus and his gigantic laser cannon boobs! Possessing an arsenal capable of leveling cities and yet only ever hits things with a tree! Completely indestructible only to be felled with a single rocket!

Well, I don't know about you, but I'm intimidated.

Great news for all readers!

As noted in my last art fail post, Storm Force is very... silly in places. The artwork is good, but at the same time it can be often hard to describe. In a world of knife suits, mutant spider goons, malformed henchmen, shark-shaped cars and armies of insane killer robots, it's actually rather hard to write good, succinct descriptions of what the comic is depicting and what's going on.

Fortunately, a bizarre form of salvation has arrived. Action Force fan site Blood for the Baron has begun a Storm Force ongoing scans project aimed at digitally recreating every issue of Storm Force. The goal is to cover everything from it's origin in Battle to it's two-year run in Eagle after the two merged, as well as one-offs, annuals, holiday specials and even text stories. It's a very lofty goal, given that the strip is otherwise unknown and dwells in the lands of obscurity. It also means that you can get to see Storm Force in its full, nay insane, glory.

On a related note, the fantastic Great News for All Readers has been an invaluable resource for me. The amount of information present, weather simply on-site or though its many, many links, has immensely helped me fill gaps in my knowledge and expand the material I have to work with. Plus it has scans of many obscure pieces, often with gorgeous art that's sadly overlooked. I cannot recommend it enough.

Art Fail - Storm Force

This Art Fail is a little different from the others. There's nothing wrong with the art in Storm Force; in fact, I quite like Vanyo's style. It;s certainly a lot better then the other Art Fails I've showcased. However, that doesn't change the fact that the content of the art is, well, just kind of goofy.

Case in point, let's meet our titular team of designated protagonists...

Storm Force! Fighting the war on mutant spider goons!

Episode 333 - Storm Force: Robot Raider, parts 5-8

Episode 333: Storm Force: Robot Raider, parts 5-8

When you're designing themed evil robots, you need to go all the way. There's no sense in just leaving it half done. Besides, a Samurai Robot speaking perfect English would be just silly

When you are facing an army of high-tech killer robots, there are certain skills that you want on your team. For example, for obvious reasons, you would need a computer hacker. That means you have someone who can hysterically scream and be useless while the real men blow robots up with their robot arms, samurai swords or knife suits. And when slightly misunderstood genius Paul Sondheim unveils his army of the twelve deadliest robots ever built (Insert Astroboy joke here), you’ll need all the crying and whimpering you can get to fight off this army of deadly mechanized cosplayers. Throw in a doomsday weapon that obligingly runs amok the instant it is introduced and an exploding bandstand and you have the next scintillating part of the Storm Force saga!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 327 - Storm Force: Robot Raider, parts 1-4

Episode 327: Storm Force: Robot Raider, parts 1-4

A giant metal man is fighting a robot gorilla. We might as well all go home now, because it's not going to get any better than this.

Straight from the pages of Battle with Storm Force (And Action, Boy’s World, Champion, Fantastic, Lion, Pow!, Smash!, Terrific, Thunder, TV21, Valiant, Vulcan and Wham!) comes another tale of manly men (and token girl) punching things to make a better world or something! A reclusive renegade genius unleashes robot bank robbers, cyborg gorillas, giant mechanical ants and quadcopters with GoPros to plague mankind, and only our heroes, Detachable Arm, Spikey McGrumblebum, the greatest ninja in Yorkshire, Full Metal Codpiece, Weiner Man and the one with the girl bits can stop them! That is, if their own staggering ineptitude doesn’t do them in first. So grab your samurai sword, your flamethrower arm and your exo-skeleton and go make mechanoids explode! It’s about war stories that are realistic and gritty, after all.

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 320 - Storm Force: Spider Fortress

Episode 320: Storm Force: Spider Fortress

I think the message of this comic so far is spiders.

Fresh from the pages of Eagle (aka Eagle with Scream, Eagle and Tiger, Eagle with Battle, Eagle and MASK, Eagle with Wildcat, All-New Eagle, Eagle Monthly and Holy crap, where did the British comics industry go?) comes the return of Storm Force! After generically evil mutated villain Tarantula takes over a nuclear power station, the Storm Force team attempt to thwart his evil scheme by doing pretty much everything they can to oblige him and blindly walking into obvious traps. And so as Tarantula unleashes his plans (That involve spiders) and his deadly agents (Being more spiders) and even his devastating doomsday weapon (hint: eight legs) it’s up to John Storm to use his robot arm (He has a robot arm in case you forgot his robot arm) to stop him! All this, plus the Road Shark! It’s a thing, apparently!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 290 - Storm Force, parts 2-3

Episode 290: Storm Force, parts 2-3

Grizzled, emotionally-crippled combat leader John Storm kills spider men with his robot arm to make a better world for all malformed subterranean geniuses!

When you're building a team to take on high-risk assignments fighting against the world's most dangerous terrorists, you want to ensure that team has a foundation of trust and reliability. You want to make sure that it's members can trust each other and will have each other's backs at all times. But since this is Storm Force, that's not what happens. No, instead we prove how much of a manly man John Storm is by having his team members try to kill him and face the inevitable retaliation while not at all evil supergenius Mole looks on in approval. It's insane, it's suicidal, it's self destructive and it's all fun and games in this tale of man versus mutated spider goon! So grab your ninja sword, get on your Concorde and go save some guy, already!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 278 - Storm Force, part 1

Episode 278: Storm Force, part 1

Somebody called Storm in a comic called Storm Force? What a pleasant coincidence!.

Ripped from the pages of Battle Storm Force (aka Battle Picture Weekly, Battle Picture Weekly and Valiant, Battle Action, Battle Action Force, Eagle with Battle and, sometimes, Larry) comes Action Storm Force, a totally original, not derivative in any way shape or for story of supertech secret agents fighting colourful snake spider themed bad guys! And what better way to start this gripping tale of intrigue and suspense then with ten pages of block exposition and backstory as our designated hero learns about how runways work and the shocking fact that recoil is a thing? I can’t think of anything. No really, I cannot think of a thing. This comic has taken away my ability to form rational thoughts. So instead, I’ll just blindly put my trust in the reclusive malformed subterranean genius. Nothing can go wrong with that at all.

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.