Episode 503 - Bubblegum Force, chapters 6-7

Episode 503: Bubblegum Force, chapters 6-7

The dystopian cyberpunk artisan cheese shop district

After an interminable eternity of faffing around punctuated with awkward silences and school meetings, the plot of Bubblegum Force finally starts in its final section. Evil Genom executive Patrick J. Starfish launches his evil plan to do something evil only to immediately be undercut by everyone around him and then be killed off anyway without accomplishing anything before the fic begrudgingly gives us the robot fight we've been hanging out for. So get your discrete laser-armed space shuttle and your most subtle giant war robot for the final portion of Bubblegum Force, which features a genuinely unexpected twist in as far as Largo doesn't return.

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 502 - Bubblegum Force, chapters 4-5

Episode 502: Bubblegum Force, chapters 4-5

Oh yeah. Those moon guys are the worst

Dear lavender haired girl. All I was trying to do was inexplicably menace a small child when you walked into my life. You looked so small and dainty in your dress that it was hard for me not to laugh at you despite the fact that I am merely a murderous robot. And yet, I felt so angry at your interruption that I wanted to destroy you there on the spot, my mission utterly forgotten. I took a swing at you, but you caught my hand in yours, without any effort. You looked at me with your curious amber eyes and that mysterious smile as you then effortlessly crushed my hand in yours. But in truth, you crushed the mechanical fuel pump that passes for my heart.

Bubblegum Force, won’t you?

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 501 - Bubblegum Force, chapters 2-3

Episode 501: Bubblegum Force, chapters 2-3

I feel safe in your arms, killer robot

In order to maintain a low profile, Lufy joins the ADP as a combat pilot with an obviously fake resume that wouldn't hold up under scrutiny. Naturally everyone accepts this without question, especially after she goes out on an unauthorised mission that results in multiple deaths and more chunks of the city blowing up. Her plan of course was to add even more Gall Force characters to the fic (Shildy, Catty II, whats-her-name and the other one) which won't clutter up this narrative in the slightest. So, light a cigarette as you drive a tanker full of highly explosive fuel through a densely populated residential areas for the second part of Bubblegum Force. And ignore the way that Catty and Sylia are glowering at each other. Nothing going on there at all, no sir.

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 500 - Bubblegum Force, chapter 1

Episode 500: Bubblegum Force, chapter 1

Sometimes crashing into the moon actually is the better option.

After spending two million years sleeping off being exploded, Rabby wakes up to find that she's in an alien world completely disconnected from her own. Fortunately, Lufy is also there having just gotten over dying yet again, so the two of them do the only logical thing possible and steal a motorcycle. They happen to run into totally legitimate businesswoman Sylia Stingray who is willing to give them shelter, support and a fully equipped workshop with an industrial steel press, no questions asked. So if you have questions about the nature of life, death, reincarnation and if Genom's cryogenics research will get funding then cast them all aside for the first chapter of Bubblegum Force. Patty's on her own.

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 453 - A Trek Into the Past, chapter 3

Episode 453: A Trek Into the Past, chapter 3

But if you inadvertently erase me from history then I’m never going to speak to you again.

Having found themselves trapped in the past, our trio of brave explorers (Doctor, Vulcan and Girl) must contend with their own stupidity and apparent need to make everything even more difficult for themselves then it is already. And as if walking around being as blatantly obvious to everyone around them isn’t bad enough, there’s also the daily killer robot attack to deal with. Can Doctor Guy save the day and cure a bad case of disembowelment? Will Quincy shout at more random scientists? Will the USSD subplot go anywhere? Read on in A Trek to the Past for the unsurprising answers to these and not much else. Now featuring a glossary!

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 452 - A Trek Into the Past, chapters 1-2

Episode 452: A Trek Into the Past, chapters 1-2

He needs to sleep off being exploded

Hurled through time by an exploding spaceship, a group of rookie Starfleet officers are forced to survive in the hostile retro-cyberpunk dystopia of Mega-Tokyo. Cut off from all their support, all they have to rely on is their wits, cunning and skill. Which means with this bunch that they’re in real trouble as they have the collective intellect of a tribble and an amazing ability to not only make bad decisions and double down on them but to be as blatantly obvious about it as possible. So get your hat and your space lasers for A Trek Into the Past! May contain traces of Knight Sabers.

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 404 - Bubblegum Shift, chapter 5

Episode 404: Bubblegum Shift, chapter 5

Helping build a better murderbot for a brighter tomorrow

You’d think that when a key member of your secret conspiracy has lost their memory that the best thing to do would be to sit on them and make sure that nobody tries to take advantage of this development. So naturally, Rob and Kathy decide to let Jim “Nightfart” Williams run around on his own, take his helicopter gunship out for a spin and angrily ride his motorcycle off over the horizon with nary a concern. And yet, they both have the gall to be surprised when one of Jim’s many, many enemies essentially kidnaps him and effortlessly cons him into turning against them. Yes, it’s all that you’ve come to expect from this fic only with more rambling author manifestos. So get your best fake Tennessee accent and optional tiger for the final part of Bubblegum Shift. Note: not a conclusion at all.

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 403 - Bubblegum Shift, chapter 4

Episode 403: Bubblegum Shift, chapter 4

I see nothing that could go wrong with letting a heavily armed masked mercenary vigilante walk around our secret and highly illegal base

James “Darkwind” Williams, immortal shapeshifter, billionaire CEO, member of an ancient conspiracy and recreational helicopter gunship pilot has amnesia. Faced with this terrible development, people stand around and talk about it. And that’s it, really. That’s all that happens in this chapter. Still, we find out that DarkWind was ready to launch a full-scale war for control of MegaTokyo that would have destroyed the city because the good guy and that his secret arsenal of tanks was for purely peaceful purposes, and that’s something, I guess. Not like there’s much else going on, really. So plug into your proprietary charger and blab out all your deepest secrets for the next slab of Bubblegum Shift! It’s got a killer car, or something.

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 402 - Bubblegum Shift, chapter 3

Episode 402: Bubblegum Shift, chapter 3

You’re an eccentric billionaire CEO. Taking your bike to the track for the weekend is perfectly normal. Hell, you can shoot it into space and be hailed as a genius.

The war between the two near identical shapeshifter conspiracies heats up as those guys send out killer robots to attack those other guys. And if that description seems rather vague and useless, then treasure it as it’s about as good a summary of the plot of this fic as I can actually manage. Having lost his giant office building in a robot attack, Jim moves in with Kathy so he can plot his next move from the comfort of her sofa. Does Kathy get a say in this? Probably not, but it’s not like she’s an actual person anyway, so who cares, right? Meanwhile, we vaguely allude to that one Bubblegum Crisis episode with the car (you know, that one) and have an awkward dinner date and some office politics in the name of slowly edging the plot along in this next chunk of Bubblegum Shift. Now with some guy called Bert!

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 401 - Bubblegum Shift, chapter 2

Episode 401: Bubblegum Shift, chapter 2

I mean, he could be illegally flying a heavily armed helicopter gunship around a major metropolis for purely benign reasons.

Given that this is a gripping action story of killer robots, high-tech vigilantes, immortal shapeshifter conspiracies and helicopter gunships, the next chapter of Bubblegum Shift is about exactly what you expect. That’s right, corporate land deals and the associated rezoning disputes. And if that doesn’t thrill you, then I suppose you could go with the idea of a gripping robot battle in which you have to ask why anyone built an office tower with extensive anti-missile defences and a self-destruct system, because to me that sounds like the work of a slightly unhinged mind. So take a seat at your hardwood desk with attendant minigun turrets for the next part of Bubblegum Shift for a thrilling round of saving Sho’s Mother’s life. Whatever her name is.

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 400 - Bubblegum Shift, chapter 1

Episode 400: Bubblegum Shift, chapter 1

They’re here to kick arse and chew Bubblegum Crisis, and they’re all out of Bubblegum Crisis.

When two sinister immortal shapeshifter conspiracies go to war in the futuristic metropolis of Mega-Tokyo, it’s up to Jim ‘Darkwind’ Williams (yes, this really is his name) to try and make sure that the right sinister immortal shapeshifter conspiracy wins. To this end, he must move subtly and discretely, and by that I mean he’s going to fly around in a heavily armed helicopter gunship blowing stuff up. In the meantime, his partner Kathy is going to infiltrate an elite supertech police force with a threadbare cover for no apparent reason, but this is still all a part of his plan. All this plus killer robots and maybe some guys called the Knight Sabers and you have the first portion of Bubblegum Shift. It’s very nineties in a retro-eighties way!

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 350 - Bubblegum Wars

Episode 350: Bubblegum Wars

I think “escape” is too strong a word. “Casual stroll” would better describe their getaway.

Plucked from the depths of the mid-nineties comes Bubblegum Wars, a fic whose title alone deserves no further explanation. Which is good, by the way, because sure as hell it’s not going to offer you any at all. Instead it drops you straight into the action without thought to plot, story, character, premise or plausibility in the hope that you’ll be too busy gawping like an overly-excited twelve year old to realise just how bad it is. What it does offer is Rik, the amazing new guy who… is not as stupid as his captors… I guess? Really? He’s there, and he does something, I suppose, but he does seem to be a little strangely redundant to this already threadbare plot. Throw in good old BGC Fanfic Cliché #1 (You know the one) and a setup for a sequel that never materialised and you have the sequence of ASCII characters that is Bubblegum Wars. (Great Spirit of space be with you and all that)


Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 301 - Esper Chronicles

Episode 301: Esper Chronicles

He'd subjected them all to the Turing test to be sure. A couple of them flunked and had to re-sit it the next semester.

The adventures of Kyrind Brandford Locke Sommerville continue begin in Esper Chronicles, the sequel prequel replacement something to Tales of the Red Knight Saber! After spending a hard day of staring blankly at a rock with a minor side in exploding robots with his brain, alleged hero and sometimes police officer Locke heads out to a Chinese restaurant so he can enjoy seventeen hours of interminable Ranma cameos while using his incredible powers to invade everyone’s privacy without their knowledge and consent. But it’s not all fun and games as Largo comes back from the dead and unveils some secret plan that involves hotel renovations while Sylia recounts the times she fought Zoanoids and fanfics based on fanfics contradict other fanfics based on fanfics. All this plus a kind of sort of appearance from some guy called Bert that is both minor and regrettable at the same time!

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 300 - Tales of the Red Knight Saber

Episode 300: Tales of the Red Knight Saber

They ended up outsourcing the Esper Killing Department to Consultant who spent millions of the company's money on research before finally suggesting that Genom should just build a bigger killer robot.

Not content to be a leering creep of a supporting character, Mackie Stingray decides to be the hero of the story in this vintage fanfiction masterpiece. Suddenly transformed into a six foot tall bike-riding try-hard badarse with the power to kill people with his brain and his own super hardsuit that's better than everyone else's to boot, Mackie sets out to do vaguely defined stuff with no clear goal. But he's not the only author proxy in town, as a run in with super-powered dude Kyrind Brandford and his power to tear killer robots in half like they were made out of ice cream attests! (Whether he can tear them in half like they were made out of other soft desserts remains unproven as yet) Throw in a generic villain returning from the dead, a vague semblance of a plot, unlikeable god-mode OCs borrowed from other fanfics and nearly one hundred soldier, and you have the re-edited thing that is Tales of the Red Knight Saber.

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 286 - Angels of Fury, part 3

Episode 286: Angels of Fury, part 3

I have no doubt that high school volleyball is instrumental to her crime fighting career

Warning: Contains descriptions of child abuse

You see that warning and you know what it means; that’s right more of the alleged Superheroic stories of the Angels of Fury. And as always, it doesn’t let up, no matter how much you beg and plead with it to do such. Instead we delve into the origin stories of Improperly Capitalised Narutard Girl, Cosmic Space Thingy Girl, Fake British Batwoman, Muscle Girl Fetish Lass, Electric Mutant Girl, Radioactive Cultist Girl, Gender-Bender Silver Surfer Girl, Accidentally Transgendered Inventor Lass, Real Estate Agent Woman and the one that I cannot actually find a single funny name for because I’m crying on the inside. That’s right, it’s everything you dislike about the internet, superheroes, roleplayers, Canada and volleyball all in one convenient package!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Damien Hawker, Kari Montero and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: KayEmm and Rick R.

Episode 283 - Angels of Fury, part 2

Episode 283: Angels of Fury, part 2

Child genius becomes disillusioned with the world. Doomsday weapons can be the only logical next step

Warning: Contains descriptions of child abuse

Nothing says ‘Superhero Role-Play Happy Fun Times’ more than a big ol’ content warning like that at the front, does it? And with that, you know it’s more of the Angels of Fury, a superhero group not at all defined by the creepy fetishes of their creators, no siree bob. Still, in there we do have some ‘unique’ origin stories as the girl who got powers from performing black magic rituals with the Large Hadron Collider, the failed archeologist with the power to turn pink, the hobo squatter enchantress, the alien with the power to make gay robots horny, the invisible French girl (from England) and Generic Odious Child Genius. (Sadly there’s no Kung Fu Wizard, but that won’t stop us from forcing the gag anyway). So sit back, sacrifice small animals to elder gods, build doomsday devices out of household goods and pretend to enjoy the show!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Damien Hawker, Kari Montero and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: KayEmm and Rick R.

Episode 282 - Angels of Fury, part 1

Episode 282: Angels of Fury, part 1

Well there was a weighty and improbable origin story for you

From out of nowhere, a guest riffer appears bringing with them the gift of terrible role-play biographies! And what could be better than the quality origin stories of the Angels of Fury, an all-female group from Champions Online that is not made up entirely of men pretending to be women on the internets at all? Well, most things, really, but that won’t stop us anyway! Instead, we get to enjoy the fantastic origin stories of Doctor Dragon Kung Fu Cop Girl, Generic Robot Girl (with many backpacks), Time Travelling Space Girl (who can’t use punctuation properly), Creepy Japanese Schoolgirl and Idiot Daughter Who’s Married to Carol Danvers on the Astral Plane, um, Girl as they form a staggeringly inept group that stand for truth, justice and ERPing in Penthouse Hideouts. It’s so exciting, you’ll want to measure your estrogen levels!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Damien Hawker, Kari Montero and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: KayEmm and Rick R.

Episode 241 - The Wandering Star Saga, part 2

Episode 241: The Wandering Star Saga, part 2

Enough forced levity, time for forced drama

The incomplete original MSTing of Wandering Star Saga (Not to mention the original fic’s vanishing from the interwebs) left a lot of unanswered questions on the minds of many (Well, maybe some. Maybe), probably chief of which was ‘Who the hell are Minerva and Paladin and why do I even care?’ Well if you’ve lost precious sleep over that for the past years, prepare to be disappointed by the answer you get! That’s right, not only are our two Self Insertions barely in the chapter, there’s not even the slightest appearance by beloved alien warlord Krokojam! So what is there you might ask? The answer is wangst, block exposition and recaps. Disappointed? I know I am and I’ve been working on this.

That’s right, it’s the rebuild that took nine years to get to you, and you’ll realize why!

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 240 - The Wandering Star Saga, part 1

Episode 240: The Wandering Star Saga, part 1

I like Krokojam for his subtle, nuanced chracterisation..

Having composed her wangst potry epic My boyfriend was a clone and now he’s dead, Dana Sterling finds herself abducted by a random space thingy and sent to another franchise. Once there, she’s abducted again by the utterly gooney and yet utterly awesome Krokojam! An evil and sinister alien with a voice that is both monotone and full of ham at the same time, this vile overlord has a plan for the floating naked space chick he just found. What is it, you might ask? Well, we don’t actually know because the fic decides to digress into hilarious practical jokes and their near-fatal consequences. Throw in some visiting Mary Sues who can’t quite figure how to take over the fic and gratuitous use of stock footage and blatant author favouritism and you have the first chunk of the Krokojam Saga!

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.