Episode 282 - Angels of Fury, part 1

Episode 282: Angels of Fury, part 1

Well there was a weighty and improbable origin story for you

From out of nowhere, a guest riffer appears bringing with them the gift of terrible role-play biographies! And what could be better than the quality origin stories of the Angels of Fury, an all-female group from Champions Online that is not made up entirely of men pretending to be women on the internets at all? Well, most things, really, but that won’t stop us anyway! Instead, we get to enjoy the fantastic origin stories of Doctor Dragon Kung Fu Cop Girl, Generic Robot Girl (with many backpacks), Time Travelling Space Girl (who can’t use punctuation properly), Creepy Japanese Schoolgirl and Idiot Daughter Who’s Married to Carol Danvers on the Astral Plane, um, Girl as they form a staggeringly inept group that stand for truth, justice and ERPing in Penthouse Hideouts. It’s so exciting, you’ll want to measure your estrogen levels!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Damien Hawker, Kari Montero and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: KayEmm and Rick R.

Episode 281 - Darth Hypnus - The Battle for Red Twilight and the Battle for Skyger Station

Episode 281: Darth Hypnus - The Battle for Red Twilight and the Battle for Skyger Station

It’s at about this point that Hypnus should begin to realize that his plan has many, many flaws in it. Deep, fundamental flaws that any idiot would have spotted by now

Exiled by the Dark Council, DARTH HYPNUS and his pet Rancor, MISTER FLUFFY, have travelled to the outer rim of the Galaxy where they have begun construction of a new battleship, the IDIOT PLOT FRACTAL. I mean, it makes no sense for them to do such out in the middle of nowhere with no resources or personnel or infrastructure or the like, and the ship is under the command of a failure stuck in a dead end career and Hypnus is a reclusive loner, but work with us here.

Now under the command of ADMIRAL RED TWILIGHT CAPTAIN, this massive battleship could turn the tide in the war against the Republic should it ever be completed. For, as unbeknownst to Darth Hypnus as he pulls into SKYGER STATION to get some GUM, a few CANS OF ENERGY DRINK and some GIRLY MAGS FEATURING TWI’LEK CHICKS, the Republic has sent a fleet of ships to end this menace.

Please join this role play and TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. Please.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 280 - Darth Hypnus - The Battle of Onderon and the Seed of Vengance

Episode 280: Darth Hypnus - The Battle of Onderon and the Seed of Vengance

What kind of universe is it when you can't trust the twisted eldritch agents of unspeakable evil?

A long time ago on an RP forum far, far away, the malevolent poster DARTH HYPNUS unleashed a terrible scourge of bad character profiles upon an unsuspecting universe. However, the daring and worryingly obsessive Jedi master FINLEY was able to smuggle out these sinister documents in the hope that they could be used to defeat the malevolent Sith Lord.

Realising what had happened, the Dark Lord dispatched DARTH MALCION, master of the Dark Arts and enemy of Harry Potter for this book, the allegedly handsome and charismatic SILFAR KATTARN and the malignant and sinister DARTH UNCLE to the planet ONDERON (Not OBERON, no matter what it says) in pursuit.

Now their ship, the DESPERATE OVERCOMPENSATION approaches the unsuspecting planet…

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

November Update

As you’ve probably noticed, it’s been rather scant the last month. Unfortunately, it’s probably going to be rather scant for this month as well. Real Life has been super-pressuring us of late, and we’ve had a lot on our plates, which has very much slowed down the riffing process. As fun as it is, priorities suck and annoying things like work, projects and other commitments tend to get in the way (Boo!). Clearly, the world needs to be more Kevinesque and hand us things on a silver platter (And have everyone think we’re awesome after we casually endanger it)

…where was I?

However, there is some good news to come! This ‘dry patch’ is probably only going to be another couple of weeks, and then we’ll be back in the swing (or swang) of things. Episodes 280 and 281 are in progress (sloooooow progress) with 282 through 284 allready lined up. Plus we also have a special project in the works (Not John Barren level special, mind you) for the near future.

The other good news is that we have managed to (somewhat) replenish the Strategic Badfic Reserve, so there is no immediate shortage. However, as allways, donations are appreciated. Got a badfic that you think needs some mockery? Then feel free to throw it our way.

Episode 279 - Midnight, chapters 2-3

Episode 279: Midnight, chapters 2-3

That Midnight! So weird and creepy and casually homicidal and all! What a laugh!

Despite her many claims, the word ‘villainous’ might not be the best choice to describe Midnight. Better ones might be ‘inane,’ ‘repetitive’, ‘annoying’ and ‘cheesy.’ It’s certainly what hard-bitten, grizzled, tough-as-nails psychiatrist Doctor Brain Brian Flowers is going to put on her evaluation before he recommends dosing her up to the eyeballs and throwing away the key. But that’s okay, because since Arkham Asylum’s a fun and interesting place where mentally ill serial killers are allowed to wander freely, socialize in the common areas and never once suffer the consequences of their actions, so Midnight’s free to bug the ever-living crap out of anyone who’s dumb enough to listen to her. Plus add in a situation which none of the six dozen members of the Bat-Family are able to deal with for no real reason and supervillain human resources, and you get something that might pass for a fanfic in bad light. It’s like Girl on Fire, only without the charm, wit, sophistication and loveable characters!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 278 - Storm Force, part 1

Episode 278: Storm Force, part 1

Somebody called Storm in a comic called Storm Force? What a pleasant coincidence!.

Ripped from the pages of Battle Storm Force (aka Battle Picture Weekly, Battle Picture Weekly and Valiant, Battle Action, Battle Action Force, Eagle with Battle and, sometimes, Larry) comes Action Storm Force, a totally original, not derivative in any way shape or for story of supertech secret agents fighting colourful snake spider themed bad guys! And what better way to start this gripping tale of intrigue and suspense then with ten pages of block exposition and backstory as our designated hero learns about how runways work and the shocking fact that recoil is a thing? I can’t think of anything. No really, I cannot think of a thing. This comic has taken away my ability to form rational thoughts. So instead, I’ll just blindly put my trust in the reclusive malformed subterranean genius. Nothing can go wrong with that at all.

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 277 - Girl on Fire, chapters 14-15

Episode 277: Girl on Fire, chapters 14-15

We'll be over here, not doing anything.

The Girl On Fire has been compared to the famous thought experiment, Xeno's Paradox (You know, the one with the turtle and the arrow that somehow does not end in a shish kebab). Much like Xeno's arrow, every time the plot seems to progress, no matter how marginally, the ending always seems that little bit further away. And much like any good thought experiment, the fic has no resemblance to reality. What it does have is the answers to many questions such as "What exactly is 'the most oil companies' anyway," "Will Ghost Flame ever be an actual threat" and "Can Stephanie save everyone who's been easily rendered helpless on her own?" Actually, if you need that one answered, then the turtle is further away than we thought.

Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster

Episode 276 - Midnight, chapter 1

Episode 276: Midnight, chapter 1

Midnight has all the balanced and reasonable powers of a five year-old crybaby playing shoot-em-up in the back yard

Writing a compelling and interesting villain protagonist is never easy, and making the audience cheer for them is even less so. And when your main motivation for doing such is ‘a friend double dog dared me to do it,’ then you know that the results are going to be painful. And so we have the tale of Midnight, a sixteen year old stripper try-hard supervillain whose master plan is to steal the first piece of junk she liberates from a museum and try to flog it to a pawn shop maybe. However, her laughable plan is stopped by some obscure superhero nobody’s ever heard of (“man bat” or something like that) which means that she needs to fall back on her array of contrived super powers to carry the day for injustice and petty theft. Oh, and also there’s something about a city-wide spree of people spontaneously turning into murderers. Maybe. But it’s probably not important anyway.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Fanfic Retrospective - My Way to the Championship

My Way to the Championship was an important Fanfic for us for a number of reasons. Firstly, it was something that was new and current; up until that point, most of our source material was taken from older sources. Many of the fics that we were working with could have existed (and often did) during the “classic” Elmer Studios era. In My Way, we were working on a fanfic that was, in turn, based on a series that was currently being broadcast.

The second was its status. For the most part, we had been handling fics that were either long ago completed or, more often, long ago abandoned. In My Way, we were looking at a fic that was in the process of still being written, with new chapters coming out as we were working on them. That’s about as current as it gets.

My Way ran to twelve chapters, plus the OC profiles that were worth several more in and of themselves. The result was that it is one of the longest fics we’ve ever done here, both in terms of chapters and actual wordcount.

Rebuilding Elmer Studios - The Voice

When we were rebuilding the cast in preparation for the Rebuild of Delta, there was one incredibly important matter that had to be considered - who would it be that was sending them the fic? Almost immediately the answer came as a "rebooted" version of the original Elmer Studios host, The Voice. However, that then raised a lot of other questions, many of which had been around since the original series.

The result was that while a very literal off-screen character, the Voice would need a lot of work.

Episode 275 - Bubblegum Climax: Freefall, chapter 2

Episode 275: Bubblegum Climax: Freefall, chapter 2

Yes, I am glad that such an improbable development was properly foreshadowed rather than being thrown in at the last minute.

A convincing, deep and well-realised villain with well thought-out motives and goals can be an incredible asset to a narrative. I only mention this because the second half of Bubblegum Climax: Freefall doesn’t feature anything remotely like that. Instead it gives us Demond, a goony, one-dimensional clod who has no motivation, no background and no plan beyond ‘blow stuff up with the nuke I have for no real reason’ and goes out of his way to ruin his own operation and generally make things hard on himself. But he’s also incredibly fun, so we’ll let him do it anyway. Throw in a rampaging secret weapon that’s doing more harm to its master than anything else and a Deus Ex Machina that will shock you with just how forced it is, and you can call it a day. Save for the inevitable sequel, of course.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 274 - Bubblegum Climax: Freefall, chapter 1

Episode 274: Bubblegum Climax: Freefall, chapter 1

Leaping to conclusions, the fanfic!

Despite its title, this fic is not actually a lemon. Yes, I was actually surprised as well. What is it then? Mostly it’s a Bubblegum Crisis sequel fic that actually acknowledges the existence of Crash! and could be best summarised as “Knight Sabers In Space, kinda sorta maybe”. Being honest, for the most part it’s about a black jumpsuit that is both enigmatic and strangely fascinating, and certainly a lot more interesting than the person wearing it. It’s also about restating the obvious, exposition news, flubbed lines and airport waiting lounges, so if you are fans of any of those, you’re in for a treat. So sit back, relax, fall in love with a dead robot and enjoy the thing that is Bubblegum Climax: Not a Porno Set-Up, No Really.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 273 - Ravage Three Bodies Evolution

Episode 273: Ravage Three Bodies Evolution

Meanwhile, on the invisible planet of the floating head aliens.

From the depths of the murky past  comes what could be charitably described as a fanfic (And could be uncharitably described as many other things) about one being’s struggle against fate, destiny, manipulation by powers far beyond his comprehension and his tendency to explode a lot. Born out of a desire to describe different toys and how they relate to each other, Ravage Three Bodies Evolution is a metaphysical tour de force as can only be described by saying the phrase ‘just then’ over and over again, and has to be experienced to be believed (Largely because you won’t believe that something can be this bad). So join us and the cosmic alien space gods, pull up your favourite shelf-warming filler figure and watch as space and time are torn asunder! It’s like having a head injury, only in text!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 272 - Foster's Arc - The Solaris Jokers

Episode 272: Foster's Arc - The Solaris Jokers

The explosion had caused him to explode. Who knew.

Tired of bad fanfics based on your favorite anime, comic book or even action figure franchise? How about something different, being the prelude to a fanfic based on a tabletop wargame (with an optional role-playing add-on)? If that idea doesn’t immediately repel you and send you screaming in panic, you may yet be ready for the confusingly titled Foster’s Arc – The Solaris Jokers. It’s your basic tale of one guy (called Foster, strangely enough) and the mountains of carnage and dead bodies that he leaves in his wake in the name of establishing a backstory and an explanation as to why he’s a burned-out alcoholic bum and yet eminently desirable by potential employers. Add in a cast of one-dimensional prop characters (Titan, That Guy and the most awkwardly-named mercenary ever) and then stop the fic before it begins, and you’re ready to go. Or not, as the case may be.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 271 - Waiting in the Rain

Episode 271: Waiting in the Rain

Sure, they may be dangerous high-tech terrorists, but they do have fun.

Who is Hero and why is the entire GI Joe team utterly fascinated by her every single action to the point of excluding everything else? Well, if you’re looking for an answer, then you came to the wrong place. However, if you are looking for coffee, ninjas, flash floods and the thrilling revelation that eyes come in different colours (I know, I was shocked too!) then Waiting in the Rain is the non-linear sequence of words for you! As Cobra Commander unleashes his evil plan to use a thing to do a thing (No, it doesn't get any clearer then that) it’s up to our hero, um, Hero, to save the day, balance apples and be a walking enigma that sucks in all around it much like a bipedal black hole, leaving innumerable questions unanswered. Key among them being what exactly it is that you feed a bobcat anyway.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 270 - Lena Frost Wagner, Astonishing X-Men

Episode 270: Lena Frost Wagner, Astonishing X-Men

Suddenly, without warning, another scene breaks out.

In the world of Lena Frost Wagner, Astonishing X-Men*, not all is as it seems. Actually, we're not sure how things are meant to be. Certainly, the fic isn't going to let us in on anything. All we can piece together is that Nightcrawler and the White Queen have a daughter (and possibly a son) who's attending the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning, where she's majoring in drama and crying. Apparently she's friends with random mutants, might or might not be a telepath and kinda sorta has three clone half-sisters and an alien bug thing for a boyfriend. Also there's a box from another universe, the Phoenix (maybe), the danger room, a highly confused Sentinel, the United Kingdom (it exists), possibly a group of Exiles and, oh yeah, everyone you know and love is dead. I think. I'm not sure. If you can understand what's going on here, good luck to you, because you're doing better than the fic is.

*Yes, that's the actual title.

Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster

Episode 269 - My Way to the Championship OC Profiles

Episode 269: My Way to the Championship OC Profiles

Imagination. Get some..

You thought that you had managed to escape the festival of plastic toy robot madness that was My Way to the Championship. You thought you were safe from its ABS clutches, free from the insanity that infected every last scale model inch of it. Well not so fast, boyo, because for your reading pleasure*, we’ve got a special presentation. That’s right, it’s a compilation of the submitted OC profiles that bought you such memorable characters as like the guy who beat Darren, the guy from the model shop and the guy who looks like the guy from Gundam SEED. And not only that, but it also lists the parts that their customized toy robots are made from in excruciating detail! So grab some model cement, a hacksaw and the parts bin and get to work on the epic appendix to this alleged fanfic! You’ll never look at the colour teal the same way again!

*Actual pleasure not guaranteed. Consult your doctor if Trans-Am persists.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 268: My Way to the Championship, chapters 10-12

Episode 268: My Way to the Championship, chapters 10-12

Suddenly, the narrative stopped.

After an endless eternity of listing what bits everybody’s plastic robot toy is made of, My Way to the Championship ends. Well, not really as it just kind of halts dead in its tracks without any effort to resolve anything in any way shape or form. Still, it does manage to achieve a lot in these last three parts; blowing half a chapter on a recap, a really awkward and forced romantic subplot that isn't romantic at all, block character introductions and, of course the canon characters sucking up to the Self-Inserts. Throw in Raymond’s obsessive-compulsive and possibly self-destructive behavior for laughs and some shouted forced exposition and you have the indefinite non-conclusion to the sequence of words that was My Way to the Championship.

Well, almost.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 267 - Girl on Fire, chapter 13

Episode 267: Girl on Fire, chapter 13

I also love sunrises, singing, Jenga, beef stew and greater proportions of unspecified subdivisions of oil companies.

It's that time again! Time for well-paced stories about developed and believable characters? Of course not, you fool; it's time for more Girl on Fire! And since our last chapter ended on a cliffhanger with the sudden intervention of the Injustice League (yes, they're actually in the fic), we have to make sure to maintain the momentum by... having a filler chapter. Yes folks, pacing goes out the window once more as we pack everyone off for a high school episode (type three - harassed by local bully) so we can meet Stephanie's two closest friends - whosie and whatsherface - and have them gush about how wonderful Stephanie is instead. That's right, it's more of the toad elevating action that you've come to dread from Girl on Fire!

Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster

Episode 266 - Death in South America, parts 4-6

Episode 266: Death in South America, parts 4-6

Hitler; the baddie you use when you just don’t care anymore.

If you want a story about people dying in South America, then this funny picture weekly is for you. However, if you want plot, pacing, direction, characterization, believably or villains that have any motivation, goals or plans beyond just "they're bad guys" then you're plum out of luck, old chap. Instead, watch as Eagle, Major Bludd, The Baroness and Beanie Guy do battle with cardboard villains in the name of saving the world from a threat so bad that nobody ever bothers to explain what exactly it is. Throw in a forced ending and you have the second half of the linear series of illustrated panels that is Death in South America!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Matt Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 265 - My Way to the Championship, chapters 7-9

Episode 265: My Way to the Championship, chapters 7-9

Shining Finger unto others as you would have them Shining Finger unto you.

As the Gundam Tournament gets underway, things get more intense! And there's nothing more tense and dramatic then lengthy introductions of random user-contributed OCs and their custom plastic robot toys, right? Oh sure, you could give Darren a focus chapter that exists solely to crush his spirits or maybe introduce people that look like other people and have the same name as other people or even decide to jarringly shift the tone and talk about Monica's dead hooker mother, but that's not what we're here for. Because, in the end, it's all about Kale and how he should be allowed to godmode his way through the competition. That and the filler chapter. I'll let you decide which is more interesting.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 264 - Dreamstar and the Court Of Dreams: The Gathering of Dreams, chapters 5-6

Episode 264: Dreamstar and the Court Of Dreams: The Gathering of Dreams, chapters 5-6

Yes, all the long, hard hours of shouting silly phrases, reciting rhymes, obeying your self-appointed leader, showers, mental intrusions, magic dinners, magic TV, magic leftovers and toiling under the merciless glare of a talking cat have come down to this one singular moment: shouting another silly phrase.

The moment you’ve all waited for has arrived! Yes, it’s the epic finale of Dreamstar and the Court of Dreams, and what a show the fic has in store for you! Um, actually that’s a good question. They’ve been training their magical powers for so long, showing off their samey attacks in repetitive training sequences, that you’d think it was time to use them against their hated foe, right? No? Well, how about the secrets of their final forms and ultimate attacks? Excited? No, me neither. Because first they’ve got to flounce around the magic castle, have some magic breakfast and forget about someone important (hint: you will too). But once all that’s done, we can get onto the action, right?

Right?

Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster

Episode 263 - My Way to the Championship, chapters 4-6

Episode 263: My Way to the Championship, chapters 4-6

It's another log for the fire of Darren's burning resentment.

What could be a good subplot for a light-hearted and goofy tale of plastic robot toys? If you’re thinking a murdered prostitute, then you’re off to a good start with the next chunk of My Way to the Championship. But enough of jarring tonal changes, because this section gets down to developing one of its key characters by constantly reminding us that not just does Darren suck and fail at everything he does, but that it’s okay to constantly hammer on him for it. Throw in the secret network of bunkers that Dad Kassel built under the town with secret access to everyone’s home (even yours) and some Toad Elevating and then you’re all done with the next three chapters of this fictive odyssey! And don’t forget to submit OCs!

Seriously. Do it.

I know where you sleep.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Rebuild of Elmer Studios, year two

Year two of the rebuild of Elmer Studios. Wow. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure if we were going to make it this far; in fact, I wasn’t even sure if we’d make it past the Rebuild of Delta. But yet, here we are, two years in (or seventeen, or ten since the shutdown) and I think it’s fair to say that we’ve achieved a lot.

This last year saw thirty MSTings, again a good number when compared to the typical run of the ‘Classic’ years. It gets better when you consider that the average episode length definitely climbed, while the number of rebuilds dropped considerably (Two in year two versus fifteen in year one, including a ‘technically not a rebuild’). In addition, two long-standing ‘started but never finished’ episodes were finally released, as well as a comic MSTing that was always on the ‘to do’ list

And, as if by a bonus, we had our first ever real story arc.

Episode 262 - My Way to the Championship, chapters 1-3

Episode 262: My Way to the Championship, chapters 1-3

Kale strikes me as the type who builds and paints in an enclosed, unventilated room.

When you're reading badfic about a show that's about the fandom of another show, then you know you're in for an interesting (and likely painful) experience. This fic is definitely more of the latter then the former, coming in the form of a moving tale of one man and his love for his plastic robot kit. Throw in a mysterious bum who his mother invited in off the street and allows to walk around the house unsupervised and a fighting tournament that goes out of its way to accommodate the Designated Protagonist and you're beginning to get close to the fun that is My Way to the Championship. So sit back, pull up a tube of model cement and enjoy the show!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 261 - Death in South America, parts 1-3

Episode 261: Death in South America, parts 1-3

When he thinks nobody's looking, Bruno likes to dress mops up as prisoners and pretend to interrogate them. It's kind of sad, actually.

Just your average, everyday routine training exercise for an evil secretive supertech terrorist organization with quasi-religious snake-themed symbology. You don't expect anything to happen, and you certainly don't expect your team to be wiped out by indistinct black blobs. But yet, that's exactly what happens in this Boy's Own Funny Picture Book about our lads at war and plastic army men. Soon, grizzled mercenary warrior-poet Major Bludd (His first name does indeed appear to be 'major') and crack commando Eagle, (plus some other guy), are taken prisoner by a mysterious enemy who's true identity will shock you with how dumb it is! Can they escape multiple times? Will Travis and his mustache survive the deadly ambush? Do Red Shadows like coffee? There may not be answers to any of these questions, but there will be lots of death, and it is in South America to boot!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Dyron-ify your life

While doing research for and collecting the chapters of The Apocalyptic Battle, I discovered this artistic gem, actual artwork of our "hero", Tom Dyron. (Note: link goes to a mirror as the original source does not allow hotlinking. Also original source contains material hazardous to the human soul). While good for a gaffaw or two, I put it aside to concentrate on more data-mining and also to spare my retinas from any further discovery of related artistic endeavors.

However, a tip from an anonymous reader made me realise that I wasn't the first to find this lost artistic treasure.

Episode 260 - Girl on Fire, chapters 11-12

Episode 260: Girl on Fire, chapters 11-12

She's been singing at this rowdy, grubby, frontier family restaurant, probably packed to the brim with
trappers and embittered prospectors since she was nine years old? And everyone's okay with this?

It's that time again! Time for superheroes to order dinner! Time to type out inane song lyrics! Time for the world's greatest heroes to stand around and do nothing while Phoenix is imperiled, kidnapped and saves everyone! That's right, it's time for more of everything you love about Girl on Fire. But this chapter is different. This chapter brings to light Phoenix's greatest, most dreaded weakness. A trap so complex, an item so fiendish, that you won't believe your eyes. No seriously, you won't believe it because it's just too ludicrous to comprehend. So amazingly brain-numbing that I can't even repeat it in the promo. You'll just have to find out in the latest installment of Girl on Fire!

Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster

Episode 259: Robotech Resurrection, chapters 2-3

Episode 259: Robotech: Resurrection, chapters 2-3

Admiral Exposition here came back from the dead just to tell you all this. I hope you’re happy.

How the hell do I summarise a fic like this one? I think that is the only good way to do it, because sure as heck after the next two chapters of Robotech: Resurrection, you won’t be able to manage much more then primitive grunting noises either. The best I can offer is that yes, it does manage to take a break from telling us about things that we already know and yes, there is indeed a resurrection in it, but that’s about all I can say without my brain imploding from thinking about it anymore. And so, instead you’ll be left to wonder about such things as why Lisa glows in the dark, why Shade’s metal band are the only people qualified to save the planet, why everyone keeps talking about that one scene from episode three endlessly and what the hell exactly was it you just read.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

March Update and The Strategic Badfic Reserve

Good news and (vaguely) bad today.

First up is the good. Episode 259 is nearly finished and should be out by this weekend or early next week at the latest. Episode 260 is also in progress, with the goal of having it out within a week or so as well. Episodes 261 through 264 have also been lined up, just pending on fic sizes and other matters.

Now for the bad. Unfortunately, our Strategic Badfic Reserve has been getting rather low of late. When we started the Rebuild of Elmer Studios, we lined up a number of fanfics early on for potential use. By this point, we have used all of those, as well as a good number of ones that we have found along the way. Unfortunately, a number of those that were lined up early on have also gone missing since then, victims of the vagrities of the interwebs.

The end result is that we're largely down to our last few "reserve" badfics. And, while we are always searching for new material, we're also facing a very high rejection rate along the way. Besides, let's be honest, wading through The Pit is not fun at the best of times.

So as a result, we're open for badfic donations. We're mostly in the market for ones from our favorite target series, Robotech/Macross, Bubblegum Crisis, Cowboy Bebop, Transformers, GI Joe, and Marvel and DC Superheroes (ps: we are old), but will gladly a fic outside of those if it's amusingly bad and we can get lines off of it. Donations can be left here via comments, or emailed to us at elmerstudios00 (at) gmail.com

Episode 258 - Robotech: Resurrection, chapter 1

Episode 258: Robotech: Resurrection, chapter 1

Tolkien had his poetic references to bygone ages and elaborate world-building. Homer had his
elaborate similes that made his work so hard to translate. Hunter S. Thompson had his rambling, stream-of consciousness style of writing. And Heavymetalhooligan gives us the shouted All Caps.

From the author of Legion of the Black X-1 comes Robotech: Resurrection! And with a title like that, you know what it’s going to be all about. That’s right, block recaps of things that we all already knew. Seriously, if you were expecting something else (like, say, a resurrection) you may be a bit disappointed. But if you were expecting some new character to show up, talk smack to everyone and be rewarded for it because his name is just that goofy he’s awesome, then you’re in for a treat. So as Shade Night (no really) and Trix Kane (seriously) stand around talking about other peoples’ personal lives and some random guy tries to force the plot along and gives up trying, we all get to enjoy the awesome reiteration action that is Robotech: Resurrection.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Fanfic Retrospective - The Apocalyptic Battle

When we first began the Rebuild of Delta Invasion, there was one big obstacle that nearly sunk the project at launch, being the lack of any "raw" copies of Delta Invasion itself. As near as could be determined, the archived copies of our original MSTings were the only source of the fic remaining, the author having disowned the fic over a decade ago. The result was that, while they were adequate for the task at hand, there was always the chance of old errors creeping in, or confusion over what was fic versus riff.

In order to counter this, we went to work on finding a source for the originals. And, while this quest was successful, it also yielded an unexpected development. Previously, we had assumed that Delta Invasion represented one end of Tom Dyron's career, and that Gates of Oblivion was the other. We had no idea that anything lay between the two.

Instead, what we found changed everything.

Episode 257 - Brother Hunters

Episode 257: Brother Hunters

Of course! That makes perfect sense. I’m glad they gave such a rational and sensible explanation, because I was worried that it might be something silly.

Fanfiction is a fantastic thing because, through it, you can explore elements that aren't normally found in the canon. Such as, what if Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow were actual brothers? And what if not only that, but they were actually secret ninja werecat brothers? No, even better, secret telepathic ninja werecat brothers! And what if Snake was also a unique, super-special secret telepathic ninja werecat in addition to all else? And what if Scarlett was also a secret telepathic ninja werecat but didn't know it because she's a different sort of super-special secret telepathic ninja werecat? And what if you just wrote your own original story because this has nothing at all to do with the source material anyway?

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 256 - The Apocalyptic Battle, chapter 15

Episode 256: The Apocalyptic Battle, chapter 15

It's a sort of of inverse Turing test for the not terribly bright..

Well, it’s been a long and crazy journey to get here. Lots of violent over-reactions, lots of shallow characters defined mostly by their hair, lots of swords, lots of space lighting, lots of Steve being an arse and lots of mountains exploding. But now, here we are at the end of The Apocalyptic Battle, and it’s time for a satisfactory and rewarding conclusion to this epic that will have made it all worth it. Oh, who am I kidding? If you've got this far, you know it’s going to be bad. And so, much like its predecessor, the fic ends with a sudden derailment off into the wilderness with a conclusion that has nothing to do with anything and makes you feel just that extra bit dumber for thinking otherwise. So sit back, grab a watery Tomweiser, kill a Matt and enjoy the Toad Elevating Moment.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 255 - Dreamstar and the Court Of Dreams: The Gathering of Dreams, chapters 3-4

Episode 247: Dreamstar and the Court Of Dreams: The Gathering of Dreams, chapters 3-4

Guest starring R. Lee Emery as Saphire the magical cat.

Alright you miserable maggots! Front and center, we've got a fic incoming! Now I know you pathetic excuses for reviewers have heard of Dreamstar and the Court of Dreams by now. You've been drilled on the dog and the shoes, and you've sat through dream after dream of whiny girls and their silly powers. But that's not all! We've got a castle now, and it's tricked out with all the magic doodads you could think of! Plus more characters who do nothing but provide transformation sequences! Most importantly, you've got the meanest, orneriest beast who ever whipped a bunch of worthless scrubs into a lethal fighting force! That's right ladies, it's Misspelt Saphire the magical critter, the hardest taskmaster you have ever seen! So get in there you dumb wretches, and pay attention! Because by the time we're done, you've got to answer me the biggest question of all: Why Tim?

Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster

Episode 254 - The Apocalyptic Battle, chapters 13-14

Episode 254: The Apocalyptic Battle, chapters 13-14

Hi folks, God here. Just wanted to say that this is one of those modern interpretative things and, as such, not strictly canon.

After blowing up the entire universe, you'd think that there couldn't be too much left to write fanfic about. However, because this is The Apocalyptic Battle, there is no escape and only more of the hurt as we see Tom cope with the after-effects of his battle to determine the fate of all creation. And by that, we mean that Tom drinks beer and cooks breakfast while verbally abusing his comrades who stood by him during this darkest of hours. However, it's not all fun and games as Tom also needs to deal with the troublesome issue of the woman he supposedly loves marrying somebody else. How will he resolve this dilemma? Violently, of course!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

January 2014 Update

Its a new year with new riffings in progress. After the last few got dragged out due to being, well, insanely long and painful (Yes, there's reasons why we were so long between Apocalyptic Battle posts) as well as Christmas and New Years and Stuff we're back on track and getting back to work.

On the update chart, Episode 254 is well in progress and hopefully will be out soon. Episodes 255 through to 260 have been lined up with more fics in consideration for future use. Incidentally, we are also always accepting donations; if you have a fic or know of one that would be worth a good sporking, then let us know.