Episode 457 - Batman: the Future Knight, chapters 7-8

Episode 457: Batman: the Future Knight, chapters 7-8

Scene of Batman punching rats omitted for time

In this chunk of fanfiction-like object, Batman takes a break from saving the Galaxy from a poorly defined threat to brush his teeth, cook dinner, play minigames and collect trophies. Yes, it’s side quests galore as our story grinds to a halt, punctuated only by long, drawn-out fight scenes and, as a change, a flashback to another long drawn-out fight scene and then the promise of some more long, drawn-out fight scenes to come. So get your collectables, your rat funnels and your dead robot for the final portion of Batman the Future Knight. Oh, and there might also be some person called Shepard or something. I dunno. They’re probably not important.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 456 - Batman: the Future Knight, chapters 5-6

Episode 456: Batman: the Future Knight, chapters 5-6

Whenever I see a fuel pump and a robot, I immediately think ‘voice synthesizer.’ It’s just common sense.

We’ve seen a lot of stupid things in these fics so far, but this one takes the cake. For not only does this chunk of Batman: the Future Knight have a boss fight complete with game mechanics, but it also has the boss’ health bar in the text which diminishes with each attack Batman makes, and keeps this going for a not insubstantial amount of text. But it’s not just all fighting bad guys, as in this chapter, Batman cooks dinner, watches funny cat videos and attends an office meeting where he awards the employee of the month!* So head on down to the local dung-filled peasant village and beat up a supermarket full of raiders for the next chunk of Batman: the Future Knight. Now with noodles!

*This actually happens.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 455 - Batman: the Future Knight, chapters 1-4

Episode 455: Batman: the Future Knight, chapters 1-4

I’m just saying that if we cut to Garrus chopping wood outside his cabin and talking about being pulled back in for one more job, this fic will be totally worth it

After a long career of beating up goons in Gotham City, Batman is frozen in ice. Waking up a century and a half later in a strange new world, he immediately goes back to beating up goons, and proceeds to do such for the rest of the fic. Fortunately for him there is a massive interstellar corporation sitting around waiting just in case something like this happens so they can throw piles of new gear at him to better enable the aforesaid goon beatdowns. So get your Rec and your electric smoke bombs for Batman: the Future Knight. It’s so good you’ll want to hide out in your secret bunker underneath your other secret bunker!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 454 - Snakes in MegaTokyo

Episode 454: Snakes in MegaTokyo

Eyewitnesses reported two heavily armed soldiers wearing the uniforms of a known terrorist organisation carrying an unconscious man off before loading him into a black jet fighter that then flew away, but we don’t think there’s a connection

In a break from the usual killer robot rampages, MegaTokyo is instead attacked by evil snake-themed terrorists as a part of their plan to sell action figures. Fortunately, the Knight Sabers are there to deal with a tense hostage situation by going in all guns blazing and dispensing justice with a series of crotch kicks, but things still go horribly wrong despite this brilliant plan. Will Sylia escape the clutches of Cobra? Will Mackie remember the proper clean-up procedures at work? Will Rick ever make a second Grand Mal joke? As you ponder these matters, grab yourself a stolen uniform and can of Uncle Wilikins Grape Soda for Snakes in MegaTokyo. It’s the most eighties crossover you can think of!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 453 - A Trek Into the Past, chapter 3

Episode 453: A Trek Into the Past, chapter 3

But if you inadvertently erase me from history then I’m never going to speak to you again.

Having found themselves trapped in the past, our trio of brave explorers (Doctor, Vulcan and Girl) must contend with their own stupidity and apparent need to make everything even more difficult for themselves then it is already. And as if walking around being as blatantly obvious to everyone around them isn’t bad enough, there’s also the daily killer robot attack to deal with. Can Doctor Guy save the day and cure a bad case of disembowelment? Will Quincy shout at more random scientists? Will the USSD subplot go anywhere? Read on in A Trek to the Past for the unsurprising answers to these and not much else. Now featuring a glossary!

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 452 - A Trek Into the Past, chapters 1-2

Episode 452: A Trek Into the Past, chapters 1-2

He needs to sleep off being exploded

Hurled through time by an exploding spaceship, a group of rookie Starfleet officers are forced to survive in the hostile retro-cyberpunk dystopia of Mega-Tokyo. Cut off from all their support, all they have to rely on is their wits, cunning and skill. Which means with this bunch that they’re in real trouble as they have the collective intellect of a tribble and an amazing ability to not only make bad decisions and double down on them but to be as blatantly obvious about it as possible. So get your hat and your space lasers for A Trek Into the Past! May contain traces of Knight Sabers.

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 451 - Ready Player One: The Adventures of Jack, chapters 11-12

Episode 451: Ready Player One: The Adventures of Jack, chapters 11-12

He’d overcome his two greatest enemies but, most importantly, he’d defeated some nameless guys who we’d never seen before and had nothing to do with anything.

After endless hours of piano lessons, strip mall Karate dojo classes, Canadian university entrance exams and really, really awkward dates, we did it. We got to the end of the fic. But Jack’s greatest challenge still lies ahead; school prom. What limo will he go in? Will he have the chicken or the beef? And will his tux clash badly with his date’s dress? Oh, and there’s also some stuff about fighting some guy called Lynx for the fate of the entire internet, but it’s really not that important. So get your corsage and your best Halo gun for the actual conclusion of Ready Player One the Adventures of Jack. Guest staring David Miranda and Krystle Levesque and her boyfriend Scott!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.