Episode 459 - Pack Rat - Sins of the Father, chapters 7-11

Episode 459: Pack Rat - Sins of the Father, chapters 7-11

Leave him alone with drugs and a loaded gun. Great work there, Bigfoot.

The unamazing adventures of Pack Rat continue as he takes drugs, oggles catgirls, broods, counts his guns and pauses only to wonder why he’s still single. Having penetrated the lair of the cartoonishly evil terrorists he reaches his goal only to be shocked by a plot twist that is not only very predictable but is also so incredibly stupid that it undermines the rest of the fic. Will Pack Rat escape? Will the Huntresses not be acutely useless? Will Ken anything? Get your fold-up rocket launcher and your free Canadian healthcare for another amazing round of Pack Rat – Sins of the Father and maybe you’ll find out. But probably not.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 458 - Pack Rat - Sins of the Father, chapters 1-6

Episode 458: Pack Rat - Sins of the Father, chapters 1-6

The mysterious alien visitor from beyond known as... Ken.

The only thing standing between evil snake-themed supertech terrorists and world domination is a team consisting of Rat Fink, Edgelord the Werewolf, Future Space Lizardman and someone’s Undertale OC. Which means that we’re probably in a lot of trouble, not that it really matters for this fic. What it’s mostly about is the titular rat man hiding out in his basement, building bombs, polishing his guns, brooding, plotting revenge, being generally hostile to everyone around him and wondering why nobody likes him. So load up your oversized compensation revolver, grab some health packs and smash some outdoor furniture for Pack Rat – Sins of the Father. Warning, contains stupid sexy catboys.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 457 - Batman: the Future Knight, chapters 7-8

Episode 457: Batman: the Future Knight, chapters 7-8

Scene of Batman punching rats omitted for time

In this chunk of fanfiction-like object, Batman takes a break from saving the Galaxy from a poorly defined threat to brush his teeth, cook dinner, play minigames and collect trophies. Yes, it’s side quests galore as our story grinds to a halt, punctuated only by long, drawn-out fight scenes and, as a change, a flashback to another long drawn-out fight scene and then the promise of some more long, drawn-out fight scenes to come. So get your collectables, your rat funnels and your dead robot for the final portion of Batman the Future Knight. Oh, and there might also be some person called Shepard or something. I dunno. They’re probably not important.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 456 - Batman: the Future Knight, chapters 5-6

Episode 456: Batman: the Future Knight, chapters 5-6

Whenever I see a fuel pump and a robot, I immediately think ‘voice synthesizer.’ It’s just common sense.

We’ve seen a lot of stupid things in these fics so far, but this one takes the cake. For not only does this chunk of Batman: the Future Knight have a boss fight complete with game mechanics, but it also has the boss’ health bar in the text which diminishes with each attack Batman makes, and keeps this going for a not insubstantial amount of text. But it’s not just all fighting bad guys, as in this chapter, Batman cooks dinner, watches funny cat videos and attends an office meeting where he awards the employee of the month!* So head on down to the local dung-filled peasant village and beat up a supermarket full of raiders for the next chunk of Batman: the Future Knight. Now with noodles!

*This actually happens.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 455 - Batman: the Future Knight, chapters 1-4

Episode 455: Batman: the Future Knight, chapters 1-4

I’m just saying that if we cut to Garrus chopping wood outside his cabin and talking about being pulled back in for one more job, this fic will be totally worth it

After a long career of beating up goons in Gotham City, Batman is frozen in ice. Waking up a century and a half later in a strange new world, he immediately goes back to beating up goons, and proceeds to do such for the rest of the fic. Fortunately for him there is a massive interstellar corporation sitting around waiting just in case something like this happens so they can throw piles of new gear at him to better enable the aforesaid goon beatdowns. So get your Rec and your electric smoke bombs for Batman: the Future Knight. It’s so good you’ll want to hide out in your secret bunker underneath your other secret bunker!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 454 - Snakes in MegaTokyo

Episode 454: Snakes in MegaTokyo

Eyewitnesses reported two heavily armed soldiers wearing the uniforms of a known terrorist organisation carrying an unconscious man off before loading him into a black jet fighter that then flew away, but we don’t think there’s a connection

In a break from the usual killer robot rampages, MegaTokyo is instead attacked by evil snake-themed terrorists as a part of their plan to sell action figures. Fortunately, the Knight Sabers are there to deal with a tense hostage situation by going in all guns blazing and dispensing justice with a series of crotch kicks, but things still go horribly wrong despite this brilliant plan. Will Sylia escape the clutches of Cobra? Will Mackie remember the proper clean-up procedures at work? Will Rick ever make a second Grand Mal joke? As you ponder these matters, grab yourself a stolen uniform and can of Uncle Wilikins Grape Soda for Snakes in MegaTokyo. It’s the most eighties crossover you can think of!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 453 - A Trek Into the Past, chapter 3

Episode 453: A Trek Into the Past, chapter 3

But if you inadvertently erase me from history then I’m never going to speak to you again.

Having found themselves trapped in the past, our trio of brave explorers (Doctor, Vulcan and Girl) must contend with their own stupidity and apparent need to make everything even more difficult for themselves then it is already. And as if walking around being as blatantly obvious to everyone around them isn’t bad enough, there’s also the daily killer robot attack to deal with. Can Doctor Guy save the day and cure a bad case of disembowelment? Will Quincy shout at more random scientists? Will the USSD subplot go anywhere? Read on in A Trek to the Past for the unsurprising answers to these and not much else. Now featuring a glossary!

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.