Episode 394 - Shadow of a Phoenix, chapters 22-25

Episode 394: Shadow of a Phoenix, chapters 22-25

He’d wound up wasting a fortune on a ninja consultant who’d done nothing but spout buzzwords before vanishing in a cloud of smoke.


In this chunk of Shadow of a Phoenix, Midnight’s Shadow can’t sleep, and an arms dealer has an over-designed lobby. And that’s it. For four chapters. In a fic that took seven years to write. Seven years. And so as Kate Moon rolls over in her bed and stares at the ceiling in real time, I want you to think about that and ask yourself what the hell was the point of all this, because I have nothing at all. Me, I’ll be off critiquing the interior decor, because that’s by far and away the most interesting part of the whole fic. So get a tattoo for your shirt and sit in the waiting room for the unending unamazing unadventure that is Shadow of a Phoenix.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 393 - Shadow of a Phoenix, chapters 18-21

Episode 393: Shadow of a Phoenix, chapters 18-21

Lateral thinking I Spy is the best way to play.

After about six dozen chapters of sitting around and moping, the plot of Shadow of a Phoenix finally inches forwards a little bit as we discover a smidgen about Midnight’s Shadow’s past and just how stupid her name actually is. Naturally, this causes the plot to then grind to a halt as the GI Joe team check into a hotel. Yes, the fic is that exciting, folks. I mean, her father is a clearly unhinged weapons designer and she’s on the run from a supertech terrorist force, but nope, hallway carpet is what this fic is most concerned with. I mean, the bulk of this chunk of fic could be skipped over, but nooo… We have to get every last excruciating detail of the most mundane of things. Ahem. So sit back and try not to fall asleep as we slip into the next four chapters of Shadow of a Phoenix. Now with added character development!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 392 - Shadow of a Phoenix, chapters 14-17

Episode 392: Shadow of a Phoenix, chapters 14-17

She’s becoming introspective about her introspection. Any more navel-gazing and we’re going to collapse into a superdense black hole of brooding.

When you’re running a top secret supertech multinational covert task force, you need to be very careful about who you recruit into your ranks. For example, you wouldn’t take in an alleged amnesiac who has apparently spent their life living off the grid and doesn’t even know their own name. However, since this is a fanfic the GI Joe team naturally unquestioningly take in Midnight’s Shadow despite the fact that they have no idea who she is and only her word about a thing she says. Naturally everybody is okay with this, except for Midnight Shadow herself who whines about every last little thing to the people who are being nice to her and giving her an unparalleled opportunity. Throw in a game of charades and something that might pass for a clothes shopping montage and you have the next immobile lump of Shadow of a Phoenix.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 391 - Shadow of a Phoenix, chapters 9-13

Episode 391: Shadow of a Phoenix, chapters 9-13

To the ninjatorium!

In this section of Shadow of a Phoenix, our designated heroine, Midnight’s Shadow, faces the toughest decision of her life, one that could affect her entire future and where lives hang in the balance. That’s right, she tries to decide what she wants to buy from a vending machine. And yes, the fic plays this for as much drama as possible. Which, by the way, seems to now be her character in a nutshell as she strives to make every last little thing as overwrought as possible. Also she joins a top-secret multinational supertech task force and engages in a training montage, as well as being faced with the very real threat of having to fight a ninja, but all that seems somewhat irrelevant next to her wangst. So grab some pretzels (spoilers, sorry) for the next meandering chunk of Shadow of a Phoenix.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 390 - Shadow of a Phoenix, chapters 5-8

Episode 390: Shadow of a Phoenix, chapters 5-8

Another sad victim of sudden onset decapitation

If you thought that Shadow of a Phoenix was just going to be a girl sitting in a room and brooding then be prepared to be proven wrong. For in this next chunk of fic, she sits around in a car and then a plane and broods! How’s that for a plot twist? Furthermore, rather than just being dragged around the arm by one guy, she instead meets a bunch of people who genuinely want to help her and are concerned for her wellbeing. Naturally, she’s as hostile towards them as possible, because that seems like a sensible thing to do. But it is progress of a sort, and in this fic I’ll be willing to take any I can get. So plug in your iPod and drown out the sound of elite supertech covert teams clashing with your own wangst for the next portion of Shadow of a Phoenix.

(Thanks a heap, Karin)


Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 389 - Shadow of a Phoenix, chapters 1-4

Episode 389: Shadow of a Phoenix, chapters 1-4

Memory loss could lead to your not remembering things.

An amnesiac woman wakes up in a mysterious room with no idea where she is or how she got there. No, it’s not the pitch for yet another action TV series, but rather the opening of our newest fictive odyssey. Having learned that she’s one of the world’s deadliest fighters, our heroine takes advantage of her skills by basically letting people lead her around simply because they grabbed her arm. Then again, given that her name is Midnight’s Shadow, I suppose a certain level of drippiness is expected. Throw in a Korean Ninja and a steampunk cosplayer and you have the first chunk of Shadow of a Phoenix, a fic that was six years in the making. Let that last part sink in, because you’re here for the long haul.


Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 388 - Fallout South Carolina

Episode 388: Fallout South Carolina

We are reading a fanfic where mind control smoothies are a key plot point. I cannot imagine that we have seen anything stupider, nor can I imagine that we ever will

Welcome to post-apocalyptic South Carolina, home of the almighty John. After his home was destroyed by raiders (a fact that he’ll remind you of every few minutes) he has set out to… wander aimlessly across the landscape, really. Mostly he goes around stumbling from one situation to the next, but that’s okay because everyone around him will basically go out of their way to reward him for simply existing. So what else is there in this fic? Um, that’s a good question, really. Mostly there’s stew, haggling for prices and various local mayors who own powerful firearms. So sit back and have a smoothie as you pretend to read Fallout South Carolina.

No really. Have a smoothie.

It’s the law.


Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.