Episode 411 - Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron, chapters 10-11

 Episode 411: Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron, chapters 10-11

Karaoke, barbeques and the term ‘United States of America’ did not survive the apocalypse. Unlike extensive knowledge of historical aircraft, the Top Gun beach volleyball scene, Star Trek jokes, Bourbon, Lion King musical numbers and comparing everything to Nazis

As the war against the Coalition reaches its peak, the Mad Dog Squadron decide to take a package trip to Japan. Huh? Yeah, it makes no sense, but then again we are reading a fanfic about wizards flying magical aeroplanes, so I suppose that’s not too much of a leap by comparison. In the meantime, Sake gets lessons in how to be a weaboo, Lance fails at cultural sensitivity, Spaz almost gets a line and we discover that bourbon is the key to resolving international incidents. So head down to your post-apocalyptic Karaoke bar for the final (but by no means conclusive) portion of Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron. Now featuring that one guy who’s totally been there all along.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 410 - Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron, chapter 9

Episode 410: Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron, chapter 9

The fearsome warrior of the wastelands, Bob from Quality Assurance

Meet Bob. He’s a foul-mouthed alcoholic uncouth backwards hick, so the Mad Dog Squadron take an instant disliking to him probably because he’s so much like them that it actually hurts. Who is he and what does he do? Well it doesn’t really matter, because what this chapter’s really about is how Lance is even more of a creep then he’s seemed to be so far, which is no mean feat in and of itself. Plus on top of that we have the inevitable revenge scheme by the laughably ineffectual designated rival, who this time is armed with magical bullets that are actually less useful then regular bullets. So sit back and light up your smelliest cigar for more Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron. Or else Lance will wipe your brain.

No, really. I’m not joking about that part.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 409 - Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron, chapter 8

Episode 409: Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron, chapter 8

Does my skull-masked helmet look like it cares?

This newest chapter of Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron brings us something a tad different. Rather then being told from the point of view of an unlikeable, overbearing jackarse it’s instead it’s by an entirely different unlikeable, overbearing jackarse. See? Big change. So, meet Sugar. What do we know about him as a person? Nothing at all, and this chapter won’t change that one bit. Also it features the closest thing the fic’s had so far to  a sympathetic character (hint: not Sugar), dating tips for the single Robot Skull Nazi and some unfunny banter from the enlightened advanced alien, so take that how you may. Good fish!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 408 - Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron, chapters 6-7

Episode 408: Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron, chapters 6-7

I’m just going to say that a band where the lead guitar’s head could literally explode on stage would be the most metal thing ever

What could go better with your magical wizard aeroplane fantasy then a big heaping of Holocaust imagery? That’s right, it’s another big dollop of joy from Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron, a fic that is determined to be as awful as possible in as many ways as it can. And just to top that off, we also get a couple of major plot developments that are handled entirely off-screen in a massive expositional infodump as a nice bonus. So once again you can sit back and enjoy the band (as long as they don’t explode) as Lance absolves himself of any responsibility for all of the terrible things that are entirely his fault while refusing to do anything that might interfere in the metaplot. It’s what heroes do!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 407 - Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron, chapters 4-5

Episode 407: Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron, chapters 4-5

I can’t think of anything more thrilling than an evil wizard’s financial management.

The concept of the Barbeque has not survived the apocalypse. However, historically accurate vintage aircraft, Nazi imagery and the beach volleyball scene from Top Gun has. Bear that in mind when you read your way through these next two chapters, because it’s still the least stupid part of the story. What we do have, however, is a plan that not only is incredibly stupid, but also relies on everyone else to be even stupider in order to work. Naturally this means it goes off flawlessly because Lance thought of it and he can never be wrong, even when he starts and then escalates a feud all the way up to people dying in his place. So snap your teeth and flick your towel for the next portion of Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron. Now with free bird seed!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 406 - Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron, chapters 3-3b

Episode 406: Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron, chapters 3-3b

The wizard appeared as if by magic.

It’s time for more of the zany misogynist gatekeeping antics of the Mad Dog Squadron! In this chapter our whacky heroes crush a young girl’s dreams by telling her that she’s doing magical wizard aeroplanes wrong and that she should give up on idealism and all that she’s ever hoped for. But that’s fine because they’re the good guys and thus everything they do is entirely justified. And at the end of the day we learn a valuable lesson in that casual sexism is perfectly okay as long as you can beat somebody in a dogfight and that racist imagery isn't problematic as long as you use it ironically. So buckle in and cry yourself to sleep for the second portion of Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron. Now with tea!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 405 - Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron, chapters 1-2

Episode 405: Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron, chapters 1-2

Look out, it’s a squad of invisible magic Nazi planes he said with an entirely straight face.

Magical wizard aeroplanes fight robot skull Nazis! Yes, I am saying that with an entirely straight face, so that can only mean one thing; another Rifts fanfic. And what a treat it is, as we’re introduced to Mad Dog Squadron, a force of utterly forgettable nobodies who are defined solely by what vintage aircraft they pilot and led by an utter creep who you’ll want to punch within seconds of meeting. So join this force of designated protagonists fight a war of incredibly boring one-sided battles in the name of preserving a sinister magocracy that’s in league with eldritch abominations while listing weapons calibres and drink ingredients. It’s a lot less exciting than it sounds!

(Also there may be a girl. Maybe. We’re not sure)

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 362 - Coalition War Story, chapters 7-10

Episode 362: Coalition War Story, chapters 7-10

It’s a good thing that they have a contingency plan for an invisible dragon landing in that one specific spot.

It’s time to once more sally forth into the post-apocalyptic wastelands for more fun and adventures with our alleged hero, Sam Brady, and his pack of furries as they continue to beat up on innocent people in the name of protecting humanity! However, now the fic peels back the curtain and gives us a glimpse into the fic’s true purpose; that’s right, using game mechanics to win internet arguments. So as Sam’s motivation is reduced to ‘my robot can beat up your dragon’ and the Coalition struggles to win a war on a budget of less than a million future money units, we suddenly crash towards the surprise conclusion of the fic. Well, it’s a surprise in as far as you’ll read it and go ‘wait, that was the end? Where did the rest of it go?’


Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 361 - Coalition War Story, chapters 4-6

Episode 361: Coalition War Story, chapters 4-6

Gee willikers, that nuclear-powered death robot is neat-o, mister!

After months of standing around in a city and killing anyone who looks at him funny, it’s time for our designated protagonist Sam to head into the field with his squad of genetically engineered murder dogs (and psychic fire bats. And maybe some monkeys). Once there, he’s going to do all sorts of stuff in the name of protecting his facist, skull and robot-loving homeland. Things like indiscriminately kill innocent people, dig up graves, steal cars, dump his girlfriend, feed prisoners to dinosaurs, go skinny dipping, have a random crossover, feed dinosaurs to dinosaurs, get edited out of history and use the very people he’s supposed to be protecting as bait for monsters. (So he can kill them too!) Throw in some more gun porn and you have more of Sam’s amazingly unheroic adventures in whatever it is he does. (I have no idea, really)

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 360 - Coalition War Story, chapters 1-3

Episode 360: Coalition War Story, chapters 1-3

Then I scanned that guy with my brain and one of the dogs bonked him on the head. Then I scanned the next guy with my brain and one of the dogs bonked him on the head too.

Meet our designated protagonist Sam Brady, your average monster hunting psychic vampire in the service of a post-apocalyptic fascist state obsessed with skulls and robots. That’s right, it’s a Rifts fanfic (Although if you thought it was anything else after that description, I’d be worried) about the lives of the ordinary men and women who fight the good fight against alien invaders from beyond alongside their teams of monster-sniffing genetically engineered dog-men (really). But it’s not all fun and games as the fic takes time out to deal with such complex issues as who has what laser gun, how bats work, if you can teach people to set things on fire with their minds and the gripping world of entry visas and consumer electronics shopping. All that and gun porn!


Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.