Episode 322 - Trinity: Forgotten Flame, chapters 1-7

Episode 322: Trinity: Forgotten Flame, chapters 1-7

This Sexy dialogue isn't sexy. It's unSexy. It's noSexy. It's the inverse of sexy. It's sexy divided by zero.

Elmer Studios is proud to present something entirely new: an original*, professionally* written* and published* sci-fi novel*. Trinity: Forgotten Flame chronicles the adventures of brave and so very stupid space captain Kirsten Fairchild as she tries to support a nonsense business model, wreck her own ship and find new things to have sex with. Aided by her crew of totally-not-evil killer AIs and super ethical space pirate Bek Storm, she must fight armies of killer cyborgs who won’t stop until they get the Generic McGuffin that she possesses. Throw in some orphan twins (age eighteen and fifteen), a disembodied brain comedy club, dialogue by the Porn Writing Robot and heavy-handed attempts at self-justification and you have the first quarter of Trinity: Forgotten Flame. It’s something that might resemble a book if you had suffered massive head trauma.

*For very generous definitions thereof

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Fic Failure Rates

In the 121 episodes since the re-launch of Elmer Studios we have now covered fifty separate and (more or less) distinct fanfics (Not counting RPG bios, comics and other oddities). And in that number, we’ve noticed several distinct trends forming. Possibly the most immediately striking is just how few of these fics reached any sort of conclusion before wandering off into space, never to be seen again. And, while in many of those cases it’s a mercy, it’s also worth looking at just what are the odds of a fic reaching its conclusion.

So I decided to look back over that last 121 and see what I found. The result was the development of five separate categories for fics and their eventual fates.

Episode 321 - The Death Games, chapters 4-6

Episode 321: The Death Games, chapters 4-6

On my planet, we stab people with bananas. Our bananas are sharp.

It's time to meet our contestants! Buzz-Cut Boy, Intelligent on Plants Girl and Possibly Psychic Girl! They've all been chosen to partake in this year's the The Death Games! Come see them and other favourites such as Pink Girl from the planet Pink, Punk Girl from the planet Punk and Scarred Boy from the Planet Scar as they eat breakfast and flounce around in their pyjamas! But that's not all! Guy Who Likes Zabanya, Guy Who Dies First and Guy we Can't Think Of Anything To Say About are here to train with a random assortment of weapons, not hold hands and generally just kind of be there! All this while Mysterious Girl is mysterious and Nightwing gets a makeover! It's non-stop, oddly-familiar excitement in The Death Games!


Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster