Rick R's Top Five Fics

 Since we hit our big 500, I was feeling a little bit introspective. I thought that this would be a good time to take a look at some of our past fics, and ones that I particularly enjoyed. We all know that these aren’t being picked for their literary value or any high concept, but every now and then I will come across a fic that I will enjoy. And in many cases, it’s the flaws of those fics that make them so very fun.

So I thought I’d go through the archives and pick out a top five fics that I actually enjoyed for whatever reason. These are arranged in no real order; I love them all for their own reasons. Note that this list only includes fanfics, not professional works that I’ve covered. Because otherwise this would really be nothing but Storm Force.

Evangelion II: DELTA Invasion

This one should come as no surprise at all to anyone, really. Back in the day it was our “big name” fic, one that managed to become famous for all the wrong reasons. On the surface it reads like a twelve-year-old’s idea of what’s cool; a festival of cartoony violence, explosions, robot fights, space monsters and whatever else with an unstoppable god-mode protagonist who is the best at everything in the world. And at the same time, it seems to miss all of the themes of Evangelion, the series that it is based around.

And you know what? That’s what makes it so fun.

There is a certain unashamed honesty to DELTA Invasion. It wears its heart on its sleeve and knows what it is and what it wants to be. It’s a big, dumb, loud action story about Tom Dyron, the coolest guy in the universe, who hangs around with his cool friends and gets into giant robot fights. It’s a naive, almost childish view of the world, but that’s a big part of what makes it so fun. The fic as a whole is fast-paced, breezy, unashamed of what it is and (mostly) fun to read. It doesn’t want to challenge you or the like; it just wants to be a cool action story. I find it impossible to genuinely dislike; rather, its flaws (and it has so many of them) are its strengths.

Plus it has John Barren, and he’s special. John is one of the top things that sells this fic for me, as he’s just so built up across the fic for how little he actually does. It almost feels like he’s satire of a character type, except I know it’s honest.

Of course, the other thing that needs to be said is that none of this applies to DELTA Invasion’s various sequels and related stories. None of them manage to achieve its level of charm or strange likeability. In becoming more ‘mature’ they also lost those things that made DELTA so fun.

 

The legion of the mysterious Black X-1 VT Fighter

Or “Black X-1” to give it a slightly shorter and less clumsy title. This one is much like DELTA Invasion; a fic that is just plain bad in so many ways. However, at the same time, it manages to turn that badness into a certain charm. It’s full of cartoony characters, nonsense situations, an attempt at being mysterious that instead turns more confusing and goofy than anything else, and a story that doesn’t actually make ant real sense, neither in-world or within its own logic. But none of this is bad or offensive in any way, nor does the fic really try to be anything that it’s not. It’s honest in its badness, and I appreciate that. Also, like DELTA Invasion, it’s complete, which is a rarity in and of itself.

And how can you not like a fic with a protagonist named Brick Hactar? Is he an incompetent drunk, a skilled technician, a smooth operator or an agent on the edge with nothing to lose? The way the fic handles itself suggests that any and all of these may be true at once. Not to mention his deep and genuine love for the Black X-1 itself. It’s probably the best love story we’ve covered here. Don’t judge me.

If I had to pick one thing that I like the most about the fic, it’d be the dialogue. It really reads like everything that everyone says is the most exciting thing ever and they feel the need to shout about it. Added to that, many of the exchanges come off as excited, incoherent non-sequiturs. Characters yelling out things like “Oh no if it isn’t drunken Brick!” and “Oh no not the chicken pots!” is just plain fun. Those entered our own lexicon, becoming odd non-sequiturs that we continue to throw around.

I’ll give an honourable mention to The Resurrection, also by the same author. If anything, its even more incoherent, but it lacks the sheer zing of Black X-1. Also not only is it incomplete, but its author seems to be lost to history.

 

Ravage Three Bodies Evolution

I enjoy all three fics of the unofficial trilogy that is Dinobot’s Old Technology, Machine Wars and Ravage Three Bodies Evolution for basically the same reasons. They are bad, but in a goofy, inoffensive and and fun way. They’re very much barely coherent. They have nonsense narratives that leap around without rhyme or reason. But if I had to pick one of them as a favourite, it would be Three Bodies, and I could summarise why in two words.

Aaah, boom.

Three Bodies is not only bad, but also very quotably such. As you probably have noticed, “Aaah, Boom”, “Just then a massive war breaks out on the Vok homeworld” and “why am I floating in space like this” are lines we use a lot. They all make great non-sequiturs and quips, and are also strangely useful, especially the first of them. It’s a fic where we took away a lot from it which is the core of why it holds such appeal to me. 

It doesn’t help that Three Bodies really comes off as an attempt to write a far more involved narrative than the writer can actually handle. There’s this definite idea here, but its so far beyond the author’s ability to communicate it that the fic is almost comedic in its ineptitude.  High concept without the articulation usually falls flat, but sometimes it crashes and burns in a truly amusing way. And I really cannot fault it for its enthusiasm. Plus, once again, it’s actually complete which helps it a lot; something that neither of its contemporaries can claim.

 

The Newcomer/The New Adventures of the High Five

This fic (and it is one fic that just happens to be divided into two fics for no reason) may come off as an odd choice. After all, it’s a Ready Player One fic, a fandom that we clearly have little love for. However, the reason why I love this fic is in spite of that, not because of it. Actually, that’s not true. The real reason why I love this fic is simple.

It’s Lozer.

Of all the many, many, many OCs we’ve encountered over the years, Lozer sticks out for a number of reasons. In many ways, he’s the polar opposite of the stereotype. He’s not the coolest, most amazing, most powerful and bestest guy in the world at all. In fact, he’s, well, a loser; a fact that even he will spell out. (or try to, given that the character misspelled their own name). And while he’s basically bad at everything (save for being a suicide bomber, although it could be argued that he fails at that), there’s something very endearing about it all.

You see, Lozer’s here to have fun. He doesn’t want to be the best at everything, he doesn’t want to flex on everyone else, he doesn’t want to be the king of all that. He just wants to play the game, have fun and make some new friends. It’s a remarkably wholesome alternative to the standard. The fact that what he’s kinda dumb only adds to all that. That’s not to say that there aren’t elements to it that have problems. After all, he’s basically invited himself into the circle of the five richest and most powerful people in the world who have decided that they are all inordinately

Plus it’s a better sequel then Ready Player Two. Low bar, I know

 

Dire Straights

This one may seem like a strange choice because at first glance it seems like the opposite of all the others here. It’s long, its dry, its bland, it doesn’t hold any of the same psychedelic qualities as the other fics and it goes nowhere. Added to that, while the other fics listed here tend to either have new characters that are amusing or over the top, the almost entirely OC cast of Dire Straights are dry, bland and uninteresting. The nameless lead character is the worst of these, with basically no personality at all aside from a single, incredibly unpleasant trait.

But it is those same things that make it so enjoyable after the fact as well. The fic has this bizarre habit of getting hung up on the minutiae while glossing over the actually important parts of the story. The Space Robot War tends to be background noise in a story that seems to be mostly about filling in forms, following daily procedures describing mundane events and other inanity that doesn’t add to the narrative at all. It reached a level of absurdity, giving it an almost surreal humour in its own way as the fic put so much effort into things that didn’t matter at all. That when the story actually starts, about three quarters of the way through the fic it turns out to be incredibly stupid.

Added to this was the cast. Universally boring, flat and bland, they became a canvas that we could paint our own versions onto. Our versions of the characters, with LaBelle’s dedication to inventory, Lupon’s batcrap insanity, Mike’s being from Glorie Colony and so on effectively took over the fic. This is especially true of our nameless lead who we turned into an obsessive wierdo who fixated on television brands, uniform regulations and the traffic going to the airport while missing what was actually going on around him and being utterly oblivious to human interaction. That he lacked a name only added to it, with the many names we gave him (Humperdink Pumpernickel, Bubmles Mugglewump, Womble Nurdlecrusher, Refrigerator Lumpington and so on) for comedic effect.

Dire Straights is not good in any way shape or form. But it somehow manages to become this strangely fascinating negative space; a hole into which we can pour our own bizarre version of the fic that becomes so much better for it. The fic is a case of "make your own fun" where you can turn it into whatever you like because it has nothing of its own. It is so dry, so dull, so utterly lifeless that it goes out the other side and becomes funny because of these things. And besides, where else would you find a fic that describes using Teletext to check out from a hotel in detail? (actually if you find one that does, let me know, as I’d be fascinated to see it)