Friday, August 15, 2014

Episode 273 - Ravage Three Bodies Evolution

Episode 273: Ravage Three Bodies Evolution

Meanwhile, on the invisible planet of the floating head aliens.


From the depths of the murky past  comes what could be charitably described as a fanfic (And could be uncharitably described as many other things) about one being’s struggle against fate, destiny, manipulation by powers far beyond his comprehension and his tendency to explode a lot. Born out of a desire to describe different toys and how they relate to each other, Ravage Three Bodies Evolution is a metaphysical tour de force as can only be described by saying the phrase ‘just then’ over and over again, and has to be experienced to be believed (Largely because you won’t believe that something can be this bad). So join us and the cosmic alien space gods, pull up your favourite shelf-warming filler figure and watch as space and time are torn asunder! It’s like having a head injury, only in text!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Rick R.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Episode 272 - Foster's Arc - The Solaris Jokers

Episode 272: Foster's Arc - The Solaris Jokers

The explosion had caused him to explode. Who knew.

Tired of bad fanfics based on your favorite anime, comic book or even action figure franchise? How about something different, being the prelude to a fanfic based on a tabletop wargame (with an optional role-playing add-on)? If that idea doesn’t immediately repel you and send you screaming in panic, you may yet be ready for the confusingly titled Foster’s Arc – The Solaris Jokers. It’s your basic tale of one guy (called Foster, strangely enough) and the mountains of carnage and dead bodies that he leaves in his wake in the name of establishing a backstory and an explanation as to why he’s a burned-out alcoholic bum and yet eminently desirable by potential employers. Add in a cast of one-dimensional prop characters (Titan, That Guy and the most awkwardly-named mercenary ever) and then stop the fic before it begins, and you’re ready to go. Or not, as the case may be.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Episode 271 - Waiting in the Rain

Episode 271: Waiting in the Rain

Sure, they may be dangerous high-tech terrorists, but they do have fun.

Who is Hero and why is the entire GI Joe team utterly fascinated by her every single action to the point of excluding everything else? Well, if you’re looking for an answer, then you came to the wrong place. However, if you are looking for coffee, ninjas, flash floods and the thrilling revelation that eyes come in different colours (I know, I was shocked too!) then Waiting in the Rain is the non-linear sequence of words for you! As Cobra Commander unleashes his evil plan to use a thing to do a thing (No, it doesn't get any clearer then that) it’s up to our hero, um, Hero, to save the day, balance apples and be a walking enigma that sucks in all around it much like a bipedal black hole, leaving innumerable questions unanswered. Key among them being what exactly it is that you feed a bobcat anyway.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Episode 270 - Lena Frost Wagner, Astonishing X-Men

Episode 270: Lena Frost Wagner, Astonishing X-Men

Suddenly, without warning, another scene breaks out.


In the world of Lena Frost Wagner, Astonishing X-Men*, not all is as it seems. Actually, we're not sure how things are meant to be. Certainly, the fic isn't going to let us in on anything. All we can piece together is that Nightcrawler and the White Queen have a daughter (and possibly a son) who's attending the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning, where she's majoring in drama and crying. Apparently she's friends with random mutants, might or might not be a telepath and kinda sorta has three clone half-sisters and an alien bug thing for a boyfriend. Also there's a box from another universe, the Phoenix (maybe), the danger room, a highly confused Sentinel, the United Kingdom (it exists), possibly a group of Exiles and, oh yeah, everyone you know and love is dead. I think. I'm not sure. If you can understand what's going on here, good luck to you, because you're doing better than the fic is.

*Yes, that's the actual title.

Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster

Friday, July 11, 2014

Episode 269 - My Way to the Championship OC Profiles

Episode 269: My Way to the Championship OC Profiles

Imagination. Get some..

You thought that you had managed to escape the festival of plastic toy robot madness that was My Way to the Championship. You thought you were safe from its ABS clutches, free from the insanity that infected every last scale model inch of it. Well not so fast, boyo, because for your reading pleasure*, we’ve got a special presentation. That’s right, it’s a compilation of the submitted OC profiles that bought you such memorable characters as like the guy who beat Darren, the guy from the model shop and the guy who looks like the guy from Gundam SEED. And not only that, but it also lists the parts that their customized toy robots are made from in excruciating detail! So grab some model cement, a hacksaw and the parts bin and get to work on the epic appendix to this alleged fanfic! You’ll never look at the colour teal the same way again!

*Actual pleasure not guaranteed. Consult your doctor if Trans-Am persists.


Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Episode 268: My Way to the Championship, chapters 10-12

Episode 268: My Way to the Championship, chapters 10-12

Suddenly, the narrative stopped.

After an endless eternity of listing what bits everybody’s plastic robot toy is made of, My Way to the Championship ends. Well, not really as it just kind of halts dead in its tracks without any effort to resolve anything in any way shape or form. Still, it does manage to achieve a lot in these last three parts; blowing half a chapter on a recap, a really awkward and forced romantic subplot that isn't romantic at all, block character introductions and, of course the canon characters sucking up to the Self-Inserts. Throw in Raymond’s obsessive-compulsive and possibly self-destructive behavior for laughs and some shouted forced exposition and you have the indefinite non-conclusion to the sequence of words that was My Way to the Championship.

Well, almost.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Episode 267 - Girl on Fire, chapter 13

Episode 267: Girl on Fire, chapter 13

I also love sunrises, singing, Jenga, beef stew and greater proportions of unspecified subdivisions of oil companies.


It's that time again! Time for well-paced stories about developed and believable characters? Of course not, you fool; it's time for more Girl on Fire! And since our last chapter ended on a cliffhanger with the sudden intervention of the Injustice League (yes, they're actually in the fic), we have to make sure to maintain the momentum by... having a filler chapter. Yes folks, pacing goes out the window once more as we pack everyone off for a high school episode (type three - harassed by local bully) so we can meet Stephanie's two closest friends - whosie and whatsherface - and have them gush about how wonderful Stephanie is instead. That's right, it's more of the toad elevating action that you've come to dread from Girl on Fire!

Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster