Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Episode 300 - Tales of the Red Knight Saber

Episode 300: Tales of the Red Knight Saber

They ended up outsourcing the Esper Killing Department to Consultant who spent millions of the company's money on research before finally suggesting that Genom should just build a bigger killer robot.

Not content to be a leering creep of a supporting character, Mackie Stingray decides to be the hero of the story in this vintage fanfiction masterpiece. Suddenly transformed into a six foot tall bike-riding try-hard badarse with the power to kill people with his brain and his own super hardsuit that's better than everyone else's to boot, Mackie sets out to do vaguely defined stuff with no clear goal. But he's not the only author proxy in town, as a run in with super-powered dude Kyrind Brandford and his power to tear killer robots in half like they were made out of ice cream attests! (Whether he can tear them in half like they were made out of other soft desserts remains unproven as yet) Throw in a generic villain returning from the dead, a vague semblance of a plot, unlikeable god-mode OCs borrowed from other fanfics and nearly one hundred soldier, and you have the re-edited thing that is Tales of the Red Knight Saber.

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Friday, August 14, 2015

Episode 299 - Chaos Lives and Zoids: Chapter Two, chapters 16-18

Episode 299: Chaos Lives and Zoids: Chapter Two, chapters 16-18

Kevin had been up all night, furiously polishing his dinosaur.

Legends tell of a mighty Zoid warrior, one who effortlessly crushed all contenders who rose to face them. A warrior who showed not the merest hint of concern for anything beyond their Zoid, not even to the very people who propped them up along every step of the way. A warrior who was a hero simply because the fic told you they were, rather then the raging sociopath that they obviously were. That Zoid Warrior was Kevin. Wait, what? You thought I meant Ami “Firecat” Nyan-Nyan-arama, didn’t you? Well the truth is that the description could apply to both of them, really. And just to prove that, we not only have the last chunk of Zoids Chapter Two, but also the final Kevin Fic ever! So decapitate your team-mates, argue over construction schedules, ignore the massive invasion that just tried to kill everyone you know and hold dear and congratulate yourself over being the best gosh darned whatever the hell it is that you are as not one but two fics come to an end. You’ll be amazed at how much alike they really are!

Hundreds died, by the way.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Sunday, August 2, 2015

August 2015 Update

July was… very slow. Not going to lie about that. One episode is terrible. We were hit by a combination of Real Life, a very big fic, queues and breakfasts that slowed us down to a crawl. The last few chapters of Zoids Chapter Two have blown out massively to the point where if not for our heavily pre-plannined schedule and looming anniversaries, we probably would have broken it up into more episodes.

The good news is that 299 is nearly finished. It’ll not only be the end of the Firecat epoch, but will also have a bonus from another one of our ‘favourite’ authors. Episodes 300, 302 and 303 are also in various early stages of riffing; we’re hoping to get at least two out per month from here on in, fingers crossed. We also have up to episode 313 scheduled, pending on B-Teams and other such things.

Speaking of, we do have something special planned for Episode 300. It’s not a rebuild, but it is a fic that was very important to us in the past.

As always, we are accepting donations for the Strategic Badfic Reserve. If you have something you want to throw our way, email us at elmerstudios00 (at) gmail (dot) com, and register your Jeff

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Episode 298 - Zoids: Chapter Two, chapters 12-15

Episode 298: Zoids: Chapter Two, chapters 12-15

Whenever I’m in trouble, I always turn to the ghost of my dead brother’s giant robot cat. It always knows what to do.

After six dozen chapters of everyone congratulating Ami on her latest round of weaboo anime catgirl bullcrap, something amazing happens to the fic. That's right, a plot arrives. I know, it's a crazy thought and might be enough to cause the fic to be ruined forever, but bear with me here. Because the competition to determine the world's best Giant Plastic Robot Dinosaur fighter has begun, the Evil Backdraft Group make a thing that shoots boomerang lasers that cause Ami to turn into the same raging sociopathic monster that she's been all along. This has the net effect of causing filler fights to occur with people we've never heard of before and likely will never once care about again. In the meantime, Bit Cloud wangsts, Jamie gets decapitated and Brad flies so grossly out of character it would be funny if you weren't dying on the inside. So sit back and enjoy Zoids Chapter Two, Obligatory Tournament Arc, Ami is Kind of a Jerk.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Episode 297 - The Ultimate Crime

Episode 297: The Ultimate Crime

Join us next week as Cobra Commander ruins Christmas!

In the world of colourful plastic army man supervillainy, there is always the idea of an “Ultimate” crime, an act so evil that it would surpass all others and make them pale by comparison. And if you ever wondered what might constitute such an act, your answer probably wouldn’t be ‘stealing a single week’s print run of a low-selling borderline cancelled comic.’ However, that would be the answer in this case. And, after such a heinous crime, it is up to the brave chaps in Action Force to risk life and limb to retrieve a pile of stolen funny books for Queen and country or some other such nonsense. It’s banal, it’s inane and it’s at a level of plot hole that actively feeds back on itself in some sort of metafictional mobius loop that will make you cry when you realise that somebody was paid to write this. I know I did.

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Rick R.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Episode 296 – X-Men Evolution: Light-Flash

Episode 296: X-Men Evolution: Light-Flash

I keep telling you, if you go running by Wolf lake through Wolf forest in Wolf national park, that's going to happen

The fic begins, but it does not, for what is at the start is not the beginning, and the beginning is not at the start. The girl is there, and you do not understand. She is alone, and has powers, but they do not matter. There are more people, but some are not as there as the others. A question is asked; it has no answer and should not be there. Chapter has become a meaningless concept. We swim in a sea of words, unconnected and irrelevant. Nothing has happened, but the girl has ended and you do not understand.

Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Episode 295 - Zoids: Chapter Two, chapters 9-11

Episode 295: Zoids: Chapter Two, chapters 9-11

"She's kinda creepy," says the girl with a surgically implanted mechanical tail.

What could be better then stupidly one-sided Zoid battles and everybody talking about how amazing Ami is? Having my leg gnawed off by an irate tapir comes to mind, but that’s nothing to do with this fic at all, sadly. What it does provide us with is creepy beach bikini contests, which are some sort of improvement I guess because it’s a change from the rest of the fic which is just the same chapter repeated ad nauseum wearing different hats. Wait, no, it cuts into a Zoid battle, because beating somebody’s giant robot up proves that you’re prettier or something. Plus we learn a valuable moral lesson that mechanical tails are more important than human beings and that if you can’t solve something on your own then the ghost of your dead brother will always be there to do it for you. Or something.

Note that there is no chapter eight. This is a good thing.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.