Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Episode 331 - Daughter of the Saints, chapters 1-6

Episode 331: Daughter of the Saints, chapters 1-6

She needs to be placed in a more child-appropriate environment, like, say, a cage fighting league or the Korean DMZ.

After being forced to leave her beloved Wolf Ranch to fulfill the wishes of her dead beloved mother (and possible child molester), young Gaia Kirrov is reunited with her long lost father. And despite said father bring the Boss of the Third Street Saints, the result is not automatically a festival of excessive, nay cartoony violence. Rather it becomes an intense tug of war between said father and willfully neglectful social worker Helena (sadly not a psychotic clone) as to who doesn't have to take custody of the god-awful brat. So if you think that your Sandbox Crime Game needs less car thefts, drive-bys, poop trucks and naked sky-diving and more custody disputes, emo poetry, court orders and wangst over dead parents, then this is the fic for you!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Monday, September 26, 2016

Episode 330 - Bubblegum Climax: Dark Horizon, chapters 3-4 and appendix

Episode 330: Bubblegum Climax: Dark Horizon, chapters 3-4 and appendix

Just gently reminding you once more that you might not want to stand around in the exploding factory.

Dark Horizon is a scathing demonstration of what happens when international agencies try to overstep jurisdictional boundaries through the actions of a single rouge operative following a personal agenda, as per illustrated through the medium of robots blowing stuff up. And boy, is there a lot of that to go around; so much so that the fix needed to cut extraneous matters (Like plot, story, characterization and nuance) to fit it all in. So while agent lly (Ully? Illy? Willy?) conducts her personal investigation/crazed revenge trip, Leon props her up, Sylia goes to a shareholder meeting and Nene does the computer stuff that is apparently her only defining trait, as she really doesn’t have anything else to do anyway. All this plus the same fight scene dragged out ad infinitum! It’s wiz, chummer.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Episode 329 - Bubblegum Climax: Dark Horizon, chapters 1-2

Episode 329: Bubblegum Climax: Dark Horizon, chapters 1-2

To hide the evil robot factory, they disguised it as a dairy. And then to conceal that, they disguised it as a Bioweapons lab. Nobody will suspect a thing.

As civil war rocks the generic Euro-Middle Eastern nation of Alafaya, armies of evil killer death robots commit atrocities such as stomping prize azaleas and crossing against the lights. With international authorities powerless to stop them, it’s going to need one woman to take the law into her own hands. Enter lly (It’s pronounced how it’s spelt) a gratuitous pet OC who is willing to steal top secret prototypes and Shanghai a cop into her mind-numbingly illegal operation. And since it’s Leon, he’s okay with all of this because, you know, girls. So head on down to your local secret evil robot factory and maybe compare the benefits of driving a hybrid soccer mom van for Bubblegum Climax: Dark Horizon. Oh yeah, there’s also some chicks in suits called the Knight Sabers or something in there too.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Monday, September 5, 2016

Episode 328 - All because of a Snow Day

Episode 328: All because of a Snow Day

I'll sit here alone wearing nothing but a shirt in a girls' dormitory room. Can't wait to explain myself when I'm inevitably discovered.

It's not easy being Spider-Man. You've got to deal with a job, schoolwork, family pressures, your own rogues gallery, random attacks from the Juggernaut and being abducted by the X-Men. And that's why a teleporting mutant who forgets she can teleport decides that he needs to be paired up with the first person on hand, who just happens to be X-23. Oh sure, they've got nothing in common. And yes, he's got a bad history with clones. And okay, they can't even pick out a movie together. But they're young, they're pliable, and the real love interests have been conveniently shuffled aside to force along the plot. So as long as her clone dad doesn't kill them and the telepath doesn't read anyone's mind they should be fine to stare awkwardly at each other and engage in forced comedy antics or something. Just remember that this came about All Because of a Snow Day.

Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Episode 327 - Storm Force: Robot Raider, parts 1-4

Episode 327: Storm Force: Robot Raider, parts 1-4

A giant metal man is fighting a robot gorilla. We might as well all go home now, because it's not going to get any better than this.

Straight from the pages of Battle with Storm Force (And Action, Boy’s World, Champion, Fantastic, Lion, Pow!, Smash!, Terrific, Thunder, TV21, Valiant, Vulcan and Wham!) comes another tale of manly men (and token girl) punching things to make a better world or something! A reclusive renegade genius unleashes robot bank robbers, cyborg gorillas, giant mechanical ants and quadcopters with GoPros to plague mankind, and only our heroes, Detachable Arm, Spikey McGrumblebum, the greatest ninja in Yorkshire, Full Metal Codpiece, Weiner Man and the one with the girl bits can stop them! That is, if their own staggering ineptitude doesn’t do them in first. So grab your samurai sword, your flamethrower arm and your exo-skeleton and go make mechanoids explode! It’s about war stories that are realistic and gritty, after all.

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Rick R.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Episode 326 - Trinity: Forgotten Flame, chapters 24-30

Episode 326: Trinity: Forgotten Flame, chapters 24-30

Yeah, it's so much hard work saving the galaxy. Again, suck it up space princess.

Trinity: Forgotten Flame gallops towards the sweet merciful release of death in this final installment! Having discovered the location of the lost planet of Zalcoria, our alleged... Wait what? What do you mean the lost planet of where? It's that key thing that's vital to the threadbare plot of this lame excuse for a novel. What do you mean it hasn't once been mentioned so far? Well crap. Look, there's a lost planet, there's evil precursor aliens, there's a threat to the whole galaxy, you get it, right? You're saying that none of this has been made even remotely clear so far? Huh... Well... I guess we can shove in some massive pace-stumping exposition in the penultimate chapter and just vomit text at the reader or something. I dunno. Anyway, it's the end, so be thankful for that much. Well, until the second book, that is.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Episode 325 - Trinity: Forgotten Flame, chapters 18-23

Episode 325: Trinity: Forgotten Flame, chapters 18-23

God-damned Transhumanists ruin everything.

If there is one thing that you could say about Trinity: Forgotten Flame, it's that it has an amazing ability to raise potentially interesting plot points and then immediately flush them away. This latest semi-digested lump is a great example of that as issues of self versus identity, free will, past actions and their consequences and the effects of one's decisions on others are immediately thrown aside in favor of more badly written smarm. So join us as Lauren gets heaped with massive amounts of emotional trauma, Bek fades into obscurity, the other kid (you know, what’s his name) performs experimental brain surgery on himself and Kirsten is absolved of being a mass-murderer because she's good in the sack in the next portion of this crime against text. All this plus cake! We don’t know why, just cake.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.