Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Episode 323 - Trinity: Forgotten Flame, chapters 8-17

Episode 323: Trinity: Forgotten Flame, chapters 8-17

At nights back in the orphanage, she would lie awake, imagining the wonders of the wider universe and what amazing sights waited for her out there. And now it's come down to a Suicide Girl reject fighting a furry, she just wants to go home and cry.

Imagine you're the Prophet. Imagine you're the villain. Imagine you have a perfect opportunity to get the McGuffin drive. Imagine you threw it away without a thought. Imagine your henchmen are the Doge. Imagine they're the doggiest dog aliens that ever dogged a dog. Imagine you're up against Kirsten. Imagine you're giving her a run for being the stupidest person in the universe. Imagine you’ve just been outsmarted by someone who thinks that naked wrestling is a sensible plan. Imagine that this is the same woman who after being nearly stabbed to death for going off alone then proceeds to keep on going off alone. Imagine that your entire plan is about to be undone by the world’s least interesting pirate visiting a museum. Now you don't have to. Trinity.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Episode 322 - Trinity: Forgotten Flame, chapters 1-7

Episode 322: Trinity: Forgotten Flame, chapters 1-7

This Sexy dialogue isn't sexy. It's unSexy. It's noSexy. It's the inverse of sexy. It's sexy divided by zero.

Elmer Studios is proud to present something entirely new: an original*, professionally* written* and published* sci-fi novel*. Trinity: Forgotten Flame chronicles the adventures of brave and so very stupid space captain Kirsten Fairchild as she tries to support a nonsense business model, wreck her own ship and find new things to have sex with. Aided by her crew of totally-not-evil killer AIs and super ethical space pirate Bek Storm, she must fight armies of killer cyborgs who won’t stop until they get the Generic McGuffin that she possesses. Throw in some orphan twins (age eighteen and fifteen), a disembodied brain comedy club, dialogue by the Porn Writing Robot and heavy-handed attempts at self-justification and you have the first quarter of Trinity: Forgotten Flame. It’s something that might resemble a book if you had suffered massive head trauma.

*For very generous definitions thereof

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Monday, May 23, 2016

Fic Failure Rates

In the 121 episodes since the re-launch of Elmer Studios we have now covered fifty separate and (more or less) distinct fanfics (Not counting RPG bios, comics and other oddities). And in that number, we’ve noticed several distinct trends forming. Possibly the most immediately striking is just how few of these fics reached any sort of conclusion before wandering off into space, never to be seen again. And, while in many of those cases it’s a mercy, it’s also worth looking at just what are the odds of a fic reaching its conclusion.

So I decided to look back over that last 121 and see what I found. The result was the development of five separate categories for fics and their eventual fates.

Friday, May 13, 2016

Episode 321 - The Death Games, chapters 4-6

Episode 321: The Death Games, chapters 4-6

On my planet, we stab people with bananas. Our bananas are sharp.

It's time to meet our contestants! Buzz-Cut Boy, Intelligent on Plants Girl and Possibly Psychic Girl! They've all been chosen to partake in this year's the The Death Games! Come see them and other favourites such as Pink Girl from the planet Pink, Punk Girl from the planet Punk and Scarred Boy from the Planet Scar as they eat breakfast and flounce around in their pyjamas! But that's not all! Guy Who Likes Zabanya, Guy Who Dies First and Guy we Can't Think Of Anything To Say About are here to train with a random assortment of weapons, not hold hands and generally just kind of be there! All this while Mysterious Girl is mysterious and Nightwing gets a makeover! It's non-stop, oddly-familiar excitement in The Death Games!

Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster

Friday, April 22, 2016

Episode 320 - Storm Force: Spider Fortress

Episode 320: Storm Force: Spider Fortress

I think the message of this comic so far is spiders.

Fresh from the pages of Eagle (aka Eagle with Scream, Eagle and Tiger, Eagle with Battle, Eagle and MASK, Eagle with Wildcat, All-New Eagle, Eagle Monthly and Holy crap, where did the British comics industry go?) comes the return of Storm Force! After generically evil mutated villain Tarantula takes over a nuclear power station, the Storm Force team attempt to thwart his evil scheme by doing pretty much everything they can to oblige him and blindly walking into obvious traps. And so as Tarantula unleashes his plans (That involve spiders) and his deadly agents (Being more spiders) and even his devastating doomsday weapon (hint: eight legs) it’s up to John Storm to use his robot arm (He has a robot arm in case you forgot his robot arm) to stop him! All this, plus the Road Shark! It’s a thing, apparently!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Rick R.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Episode 319 - Son of Zor

Episode 319: Son of Zor

Hey guys, I've just transcended beyond the physical plane of existence. But it's all right, because it's perfectly normal and happens all the time.

Meet Mike. Sure, he might  just seem like your average clone space baby found in a stasis pod and then palmed off to the first people that came along (and trust us, it happens all the time), but Mike has a secret. He has the amazing ability to get freaky with giant robots in a way that everybody is perfectly okay with as if it was the most natural thing in the world. In fact, they’re so okay with this that he gets to take part in an absurdist wargame based around capturing flags and causing other people’s giant robots to turn different colours! That’s right, it may be a man’s life in this modern Generic Anime Army, but it’s the Cosmic Space Aliens who are the real heroes.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Rebuild of Elmer Studios, year four

Year four of Elmer Studios was, admittedly, a slow one. With twenty-five episodes done (and a twenty-sixth in progress as of this writing) it was the slowest year so far of the rebuild. There were a number of reasons for that slow-down, however, which do merit some explanation. One of the biggest reasons was simple length of the fics involved, with the last year featuring almost entirely long ‘series’ fics spread over the course of many episodes. If you looked at it in terms of actual numbers of fics done, there’s surprisingly few. Even then, that’s still a good amount of work, and bringing us a lot further along than we expected when we started the Rebuild.

This last year featured a number of highlights and interesting moments, including fictive firsts, the return of old favourite authors, lost prequels and fanfic reboots. It also featured its own story arc for a portion of its run. Finally, it marked some significant milestones in the history of the (new) Elmer Studios.