tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14869364269057942492024-03-09T23:24:43.523-08:00Elmer StudiosAlex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.comBlogger338125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-59837471593248374452024-03-09T23:23:00.000-08:002024-03-09T23:23:41.819-08:00Episode 475 - The New Adventures of the High Five, chapters 4-6<p><b>Episode 475:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1K-JLhnyuvuqbO_3eukJCjLtHI2hsDwO-/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">The New Adventures of the High Five, chapters 4-6</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>Stupid noob, doesn’t even have power over time, space, death and reality. What a loser.</i></p><p>In this, the latest three chapter-like objects of this ongoing simulacrum of a narrative, the High Five go into a video game, fight some monsters, fight a boss and then bump into Mordred, the guy who might be the villain or something like that. But that's not what the story's actually about. It's really about Lozer who is certainly an entity that exists in space and time, and yet is also strangely fascinating despite having the personality of a brick. So join our boy as he finds new ways to blow himself up in a variety of new environments in the newest part of <i>New Adventures of the High Five</i>. But don't go to New York, as it's down to apply a service patch.</p><div><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</div><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-29151084729940120882024-02-10T23:30:00.000-08:002024-02-10T23:30:56.552-08:00 Episode 474 - The New Adventures of the High Five, chapters 1-3<p><b>Episode 474:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mx3Xm4FaXlNPuK9Uh5he_XIVwymTslTR/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">The New Adventures of the High Five, chapters 1-3</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>Turns out that was a vital load-bearing clown.</i></p><p>In this chunk of fic, Lozer achieves his lifelong dream of launching himself off a ramp in a go-kart so he can suicide bomb a giant killer clown head. And to that I say ‘live big' and also ‘what the actual hell man?’. That's right, we have more of our favourite spatio-temporal entity doing what he does best, generally hanging around and making you wonder what he's doing there. So thrill as Art3mis talks to an NPC, Aech goes through their regular stream of humiliation and Daito and Sho struggle to remember who is who for the first chunk of <i>The New Adventures of the High Five</i>. Which is not just more of <i>The Newcomer</i>. At all.</p><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-122058715619115022024-01-13T22:38:00.000-08:002024-01-13T22:38:40.042-08:00Episode 473 - The Newcomer, chapters 6-10<p><b>Episode 473:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jKBeLRLmepH6TFBhNUSbsUd4O_JWbXp5/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">The Newcomer, chapters 6-10</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>And yet ‘don’t you still have the flamethrowing dinosaur’ is still not the dumbest thing we’ve said about this fic.</i></p><p>In this next snack-sized portion of <i>The Newcomer</i> we hit one of those moments we've come to both dread and relish, which is the introduction of the author's OC villain. This moment will raise several questions such as ‘who is he', ‘what does he want', ‘why don't the High Five just use their positions as owners of the OASIS to instantly solve the problem’ and ‘why do we even care'? But mostly the fic's about Lozer flailing around, getting an origin story, and failing to justify his existence. So get your Kaneda's Bike from Akira and your lousy gacha game mechanics for another round of <i>The Newcomer.</i> Now with archive action!</p><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-87527278204958563512023-12-16T23:12:00.000-08:002023-12-16T23:12:26.754-08:00Episode 472 - The Newcomer, chapters 1-5<p><b>Episode 472:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Yn6xKUovOmUOGB8nxkTcmiFiaMzj1SEM/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">The Newcomer, chapters 1-5</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>Those penguins are up to something. I know it.</i></p><p>When you're the world's five richest and most powerful people who literally own the internet, you can pick and choose who you hang out with. And that's why the High Five have decided that they are all deeply emotionally invested in this guy called Lozer who might be the greatest example of nominative determinism at work that I have ever seen. And if you’re thinking that there surely must be some hidden depths to this guy that you're missing, well then, you'd be entirely wrong, bucko. So it's time to put your Viking helmet on and go around looting corpses for the first part of <i>The Newcomer</i>. No, seriously, his name is Lozer. I'm not making that up.</p><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-81152488287181791032023-11-18T23:39:00.000-08:002023-11-18T23:39:54.873-08:00 Episode 471 - Harry Potter and G.I. Joe: The Philosopher's Stone, Chapters 3-4<p><b>Episode 471:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/18N36kDyZxpkhuCtk64M__xl67WLagdjO/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">Harry Potter and G.I. Joe: The Philosopher's Stone, Chapters 3-4</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>PPS, the Roboskull is real, lives on the dark side of the moon and is coming for you</i></p><p>We join our hero, Harry Potter the boy wizard as he leads a covert strike against a group of revolutionaries aimed at breaking up an arms deal that ends with him achieving a double-digit bodycount. Now you might be staggered at that idea, but trust me, it’s far from the stupidest part of the fic. Instead, we're treated to the sheer magic (joke not intended) that its Lily Potter's insane paranoid manifesto which will no doubt end with the revelation that Dumbledore is a lizard person. So grab your name-band firearms, your hardened milspec laptop and your hall pass for the second half of <i>Harry Potter the G.I. Joe: The Philosopher's Stone</i>. Also trust nobody, filter your water, and never leave home without your tinfoil hat.</p><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-52073077614329272972023-10-29T00:14:00.003-07:002023-11-18T23:40:13.482-08:00Episode 470 - Harry Potter and G.I. Joe: The Philosopher's Stone, Chapters 1-2<p><b>Episode 470:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oOoCSqgJtD49wpVhNh7mmBWEKmEtw0AF/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">Harry Potter and G.I. Joe: The Philosopher's Stone, Chapters 1-2</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>If this ends with G.I. Joe in court fighting for custody of Harry Potter, then this fic it will all be worth it</i></p><p>It’s rare that a fic gives you its entire premise in the title, but yet when you’ve got one called <i>Harry Potter and G.I. Joe</i>, you should probably know exactly what to expect. Even then, you’ll probably end up being surprised when Scarlett (heart-shaped face, high cheekbones, emerald green eyes, copper-red hair) decides that she’s going to move heaven and earth for a boy that she has only just met and who has spent all that time unconscious. So while everyone is shocked that two redheads exist in the world and the Dursleys suffer grisly deaths we’ll be describing characters’ clothes in stupidly elaborate detail for the first portion of <i>Harry Potter and G.I. Joe</i>. Features a bulldog and/or Dreadnok!</p><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-40568281356503631082023-10-08T01:27:00.002-07:002023-10-08T01:27:04.759-07:00 Episode 469 - Turtles' Big Sister, Chapters 2-3<p> <b>Episode 469:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1xR9QGgWJGqjmh-7R5ANqU_zWjCDP5kg9/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">Turtles' Big Sister, Chapters 2-3</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>Her father was kidnapped by hideous brain aliens, but she’s fine now</i></p><p>It’s time for more of the amazing adventures of Pepper, the cat-headed goddess who defines all of existence and without whom we have no meaning. In this exciting pair of chapters, you'll be glued to your seat as Pepper rolls her eyes, lectures people, rolls her eyes, beats up bad guys, rolls her eyes, is completely insufferable at all times and is praised for it, rolls her eyes, is vaguely racist and then, as a break, rolls her eyes some more. Yes, its an utterly thrilling adventure here in the next segment of <i>Turtles’ Big Sister</i>, so you better buckle up and enjoy it. Or else Pepper will roll her eyes at you.</p><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-70501594821409801982023-09-02T01:27:00.003-07:002023-10-08T01:27:37.556-07:00Episode 468 - Turtles' Big Sister, Profile and Chapter 1<p><b>Episode 468:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1e6rmpODSlFl5VBXQA7xS2--67DheSmI4/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">Turtles' Big Sister, Profile and Chapter 1</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>Pepper has spoken! Her word is law!</i></p><div>Meet Pepper. Don’t worry if you have no idea who she is, as the fic will open with a ten-page infodump giving every detail about her appearance, the clothes she always wears, how she ranks her siblings, her long list of enemies, her favourite burrowing mammal and her thoughts on classical Chinese literature. And if you get through all of that you might just care about the fic which consists of regurgitated scripts with Pepper crudely added into them like some sort of Lucas recut. So get ready to enter the Pepperverse for <i>Turtles Big Sister</i>. Really, the entire premise is there in the title.</div><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-44526713714932383052023-08-03T18:24:00.002-07:002023-08-03T18:24:43.036-07:00Episode 467 - The Neon Lily of Night City<p><b>Episode 467:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/19O_fpHpVt-zUr5Optsbt5z2HlLS43Pbx/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">The Neon Lily of Night City</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>Whoso pulleth this Mantis Blade from this thug’s pelvis is rightful crowned king of England</i></p><div>Meet Harry Potter and Fleur Delacour. He’s a merc who’s main skill is being loud and obnoxious, and she’s a corpo who’s mostly defined by her silly accent. They’re the two dumbest and horniest people in Night City, a fact that this fic will remind you of at every possible moment. Together they’re going to plan a heist, but that’s not what this is all about. Instead it’s about the pair of them trying to jump into each other’s pants at every opportunity while everyone around them tries to join in. So grab your mantis blade, your vending machine burrito and your obvious trap for The Neon Lily of Night City. Eeez very zilly ‘fic, no?</div><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-57594101563007792532023-07-02T02:05:00.005-07:002023-07-02T02:09:05.240-07:00Bonus: Fanfic Summaries<p>When we sat down to do the fic summaries in <i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2023/06/episode-466-stranger-named-six.html">A Stranger Named Six</a>,</i> we went through most if not all of the fics we've done in past. Ultimately, we only used those that we thought were the most amusing, or actually functioned as a neat encapsulation of the fic. There were a lot that didn't work for a number of reasons; they didn't work for our purposes, they didn't really accomplish what we were after or they just didn't mean anything. On top of that, we aimed for more 'big name' fics from our history. Ultimately, of the huge list we generated, we only picked a handful of them.</p><p>However, in the spirit of fun, here's a full list of all the ones we went through and came up with.</p><span><a name='more'></a></span><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2012/06/episode-201-rebuild-of-delta-part-one.html">Evangelion II: DELTA Invasion</a></i></p><p>It's been about a year and a half since the angels have been defeated and 17 years since the 2nd Impact, and Shinji, Asuka and Rei finally got the chance to live a normal life.</p><p>Now that the Angels were gone, all the Children that were now married could rest in peace... for now! </p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2012/07/episode-206-tale-of-yurei-and-lance.html">The Tale of Yurei and Lance</a></i></p><p>Sighing heavily she shrugged her shoulders to adjust the sword digging uncomfortably into her back as her feet tramped along the dusty road, bringing her deeper into the Zoids Battle Commission Territories.</p><p>Yurei watched the whole thing as well as listened being the only other person in the lounge she now knew Lance's name as well as a piece of his history.</p><div>-----</div><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2012/08/episode-209-dark-spiner.html">The Dark Spiner</a></i></p><p>It’s been about a month and a half since the Blitz Team has entered Class S. So far they have been winning every battle that comes their way. That’s why I want to join them.</p><p>“Pathetic fools, do they really think this is over?”</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2012/11/episode-216-bubblegum-crisis-next.html">Bubblegum Crisis The Next Generation Aftermath</a></i></p><p>It was a cold wet night in the city of Mega Tokyo.</p><p>"Well I think that went better then I expected" he muttered as he got up and walked out of the Room.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2013/01/episode-221-zoids-genesis-fanfic.html">“Zoids Genesis Fanfic”</a></i></p><p>Out of the mists, out of time it came, ever pressing forward in a relentless quest.</p><p>“Take care… won’t you?”</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2013/01/episode-224-old-conflicts-renewed.html">Old Conflicts Renewed</a></i></p><p>Kevin had made a full recovery after his battle with Zephyr and repairs on the Spiner were coming along nicely.</p><p>“So it does.” Leena said, kissing Kevin.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2013/02/episode-226-legion-of-mysterious-black.html">The Legion Of The Mysterious Black X-1 VT Fighter Part 1</a></i></p><p>in Capton Glovel's office. the overhead light is off but his desk lamp remain on.</p><p>Meanwhile Lisa and Rick stood in front of Lisa's quarter. she invited Rick to join her for some tea.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2013/03/episode-228-girl-on-fire-chapters-1-5.html">Girl on Fire</a></i></p><p>It was just another normal day at MT. Justice; Wally and Artemis arguing, M'gann in the kitchen making cookies, Kaldur reading a book, Robin on his computer, and the others were watching TV.</p><p>Robin wrap his arms tightly around Phoenix knowing that they're safe and he can enjoy this moment with her.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2013/05/episode-235-legacy.html">The Legacy</a></i></p><p>"Go, Liger!!" </p><p>Altiel yelled “This little Rebellion is over! Submit now, or perish!” He did not have to repeat it, and as Commission Forces retreated, the Republic president was taken away by Emperor Rudolf, as the entire Planet mourned her brother’s death.**</p><div>-----</div><div><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2013/06/episode-236-blasts-from-past-sherrys.html">Blasts from the Past</a></i></p><p>The sun in the desert was burning hot even for the desert and as 2 teenagers were riding their hover crafts through the sand wail laughing and carrying on.</p><p>'I will see to that even if I die again.' Priss thought as she drifted to sleep.</p><p>-----</p></div><div><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2013/06/episode-237-showdown-in-san-riviera.html">Showdown in San Rivera</a></i></p><p>The trucks threw up massive dust clouds partially to obscure field of vision down the long path to the city.</p><p>The bodies were never found.</p></div><div>-----</div><div><br /></div><div><div><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2013/07/episode-239-macross-transformers-saga.html">Macross the Transformers Saga</a></i></div><div><br /></div><div>Access Level 01 Data</div><div><br /></div><div>"Ummm….hi?"</div></div><p>-----</p><p><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2013/08/episode-242-apocalyptic-battle-chapters.html"><i>The Apocalyptic Battle</i></a></p><p>"So Tom, what do you think the bigwigs at Nerv have us here for?</p><p>Tom being the Judge on Earth, Arcane being the judge in the Heavens themselves.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2013/10/episode-247-dreamstar-and-court-of.html">Dreamstar and the Court of Dreams</a></i></p><p>Do you know who I am?</p><p>We separated into ourselves and collasped on the ground we were all exhausted from all the energy we lost from the merging by the time we got up from our beds we were all rested and ready to have lunch.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2013/10/episode-248-assassin.html">The Assassin</a></i></p><p>I walked over to my Whale Kings' view port and stared out at Romeo City, my current destination.</p><p>"To bad."</p><div>-----</div><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2014/02/episode-257-brother-hunters.html">Brother Hunters</a></i></p><p>"Wow."</p><p>Golly…</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2014/03/episode-258-robotech-resurrection.html">Robotech: Resurrection</a></i></p><p>Six month has past after the horrific event that change everything and everyone.</p><p>"That's more like it. now, carry on Captain" Lisa responded winking before she headed out the door</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2014/04/episode-263-my-way-to-championship.html">My Way to the Championship</a></i></p><p>"Gundam Zabanya, Lockon Stratos, locked and loaded!" I loved Lockon's character, Lyle more than Neil.</p><p>I could tell that this wouldn't end well.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2014/07/episode-270-lena-frost-wagner.html">Lena Frost Wagner, Astonishing X-Men</a></i></p><p>"Kurt i need you" Emma telepathically tried to contact Kurt Wagner</p><p>"hi dad"lena said smiling at her father kurt ryder</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2014/07/episode-271-waiting-in-rain.html">Waiting in the Rain</a></i></p><p>When Hero walked in she saw the whole alpha team stare at her, but she stood tall with pride and grabbed 5 apples and walked out.</p><p>'Well this will surely be interesting,' Hero signed, and Snake Eyes nodded in agreement.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2014/08/episode-272-fosters-arc-solaris-jokers.html">Foster’s Arc – The Solaris Jokers</a></i></p><p>The year was 3063 and war was steadily brewing on the planet of Port Arthur.</p><p>"Not anymore. I'm in."</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2014/08/episode-273-ravage-three-bodies.html">Ravage Three Bodies Evolution</a></i></p><p>O no our plan of making a transformer return to prehistoric earth has failed.</p><p>now all I have to do is wait for primal & his crew so I can catch them off guard & destroy them quickly.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2014/09/episode-274-bubblegum-climax-freefall.html">Bubblegum Climax: Freefall</a></i></p><p>Nene looked up at the display screen for the third time in two minutes: First Global Airline Flight 204 from Berlin should have arrived five minutes ago, but its name was yet to appear under "Arrivals."</p><p>For a while, it just hanged there in space, seemingly motionless, undistinguishable from the other debris, but before long the force of gravity overcame the force of inertia---the pod left orbit and drifted downward, toward the unwary blue-white planet below . . .</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2015/04/episode-292-zoids-chapter-two-chapters.html">Zoids: Chapter Two</a></i></p><p>"Brad, I can't believe that you're actually leaving us. We're a team,"</p><p>"Who knows what will happen though?</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2015/08/episode-300-tales-of-red-knight-saber.html">Tales of the Red Knight Sabre</a></i></p><p>BLEEEEEPPPPP!!!!!! went the alarm clock that belonged to one Mackie Stingray.</p><p>Largo responded with an evil grin "soon, Tetsuya. Very soon..."</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2015/09/episode-301-esper-chronicles.html">ESPer Chronicles</a></i></p><p>Sylia sat at her television array while gently massaging a medium sized bruise on her forhead.</p><p>"lets go get nene. Mackie, you drive."</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2015/09/episode-302-ayngel-project-chapters-1-2.html">AYNGEL Project</a></i></p><p>It had been three years ever since the divine revelation of the second coming of angels from Justice, the 19th angel.</p><p>A young blonde woman, wearing a white blouse along with a black skirt which went down to her knees stood before them. Her name was Ritsuko Akagi, head scientist of Nerv Headquarters and Gendo Ikari's secret lover.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2015/12/episode-309-gundam-build-fighters-lifes.html">Gundam Build Fighters: Life's Gunpla Battle Championship MkII</a></i></p><p>Four years ago, during the 7th Gunpla Battle World Championship, the Japan 3rd Block team of Iori Sei and Reiji won the title but the "Plavsky Incident", which some of us dubbed it as, signaled the loss of the particle, and the disappearance of PPSE's Chairman Mashita, for the better part of the following year, so the only contests people could hold were building contests and "Extreme VS Full Boost" or "Extreme VS Maxi Boost" contests.</p><p>Oh my god why am I rambling I should just end this here.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2016/01/episode-311-death-games-chapters-1-3.html">The Death Games</a></i></p><p>It is a beautiful day in happy harbor; after beating the Reach and the Light and the Justice League were found innocent, everything went back to normal.</p><p>"I love you too Dick. For always and forever."</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2016/04/episode-318-bubblegum-crisis-urban.html">Bubblegum Crisis: Urban Hunter</a></i></p><p>The blackness of space.</p><p>"If there are any more Boomer attacks tonight, we'll need them."</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2016/04/episode-319-son-of-zor.html">Son of Zor</a></i></p><p>Where am I?</p><p>Let the staff puzzle out what to do with my mecha.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2016/05/episode-322-trinity-forgotten-flame.html">Trinity: Forgotten Flame</a></i></p><p>As the massive starship began its decent, the old hull creaked and protested against the force that resisted it</p><p>As the humming reached its pinnacle, the sound instantly vanished, only to broken by a loud bang.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2016/07/episode-324-dinobots-old-technology.html">Dinobot’s Old Technology (et al)</a></i></p><p>In the Maximal base Optimus try to contact Dinobot.</p><p>In a new form and more powerful than before?????</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2016/10/episode-331-daughter-of-saints-chapters.html">Daughter of the Saints</a></i></p><p>"Are you okay Gaia?" questioned Helena, a social worker that was close to my mother who passed away three weeks ago from cancer.</p><p>"You better come back."</p><div>-----</div><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2017/01/episode-337-robotech-first-contact.html">Robotech: First Contact</a></i></p><p>"Come on…" 18-year-old Tom Maxwell said with mounting frustration, as he tried his best to avoid computer-animated destruction.</p><p>But other than that, there was nothing that he could do.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2017/04/episode-340-gundam-wing-crisis-chapters.html">Gundam Wing Crisis</a></i></p><p>True peace has begun thanks to the help of the gundam pilots, the preventers, and Vice Foreign Minister Relena Dorlian.</p><p>HE smiles as he puts the Gundam back in its box with the the note and walks out.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2017/06/episode-345-machine-wars.html">Machine Wars</a></i></p><p>In the coldness of space only one large area stands out... </p><p>My rigid grill structure is bearing in on your unprotected cargo door</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2017/07/episode-347-unexpected-future-chapters.html">The Unexpected Future</a></i></p><p>"Quickly. you must go and change the past"</p><p>"I love you too, Deedee."</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2017/10/episode-350-bubblegum-wars.html">Bubblegum Wars</a></i></p><p>"What the hell is happening?" Priss yelled, eyes wide with disbelief</p><p>"So we meet again." He tightened his grasp around the datapad...</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2017/11/episode-351-gates-of-oblivion.html">Gates of Oblivion</a></i></p><p>Gaia, since the dawn of time, your fate has been determined by destruction.</p><p>I certainly hope you are right.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2017/12/episode-354-knight-moves-chapters-1-2.html">Knight Moves</a></i></p><p>Largo studied the chess board as his opponent's knight removed his bishop. "Nicely done."</p><p>“Objective accomplished. The doctor is no longer required. Kill him and meet me back at homebase.”</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2018/03/episode-358-rise-of-settlements.html">Rise of the Settlements</a></i></p><p>It's been four years since the Minutemen took the fight to the Institute in in the year 2287 but at no small fee.</p><p>Mary looks at Blake and then looks at the ground then says "Blake I... I'm pregnant"</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2018/04/episode-360-coalition-war-story.html">Coalition War Story</a></i></p><p>Sam stood before his mirror, on a secure level of the Lonestar complex, looking at the very average reflection of himself.</p><p>He's out there somewhere - I hope he comes back to us soon.</p><p>-----</p><p><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2018/06/episode-366-vault-dweller-chapters-1-4.html"><i>The Vault Dweller</i></a></p><p>A man sat at a campfire surrounded by squatters, chem junkies, Soldiers, just about anyone was there.</p><p>If this tale has taught you anything it's that war, war never changes….</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2018/08/episode-368-war-for-wastes-chapters-1-5.html">War for the Wastes</a></i></p><p>Steve sat up and looked around: he was somewhere in the middle of the desert buried knee deep in sand and his two friends were nowhere to be found.</p><p>The man walked to the front gate dropping a few caps into a beggar's hands and walked off into the wasteland.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2018/10/episode-373-gbf-old-wars-waged-anew.html">GBF Old Wars Waged Anew</a></i></p><p>But why do I have to go to Canada?</p><p>He'll show them he didn't need to loose control to be a great gunpla battler.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2018/11/episode-375-ready-pegasus-one-chapters.html">Ready Pegasus One</a></i></p><p>My name is Jimmy Lee, I am the stereotypical anime nerd that you would talk about at school.</p><p>"Set course to Lupreta 2.0" I said to the AI.</p><p>-----</p><p><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2019/02/episode-380-transformers-earths.html"><i>Transformers Earth’s Mightiest Heroes</i></a></p><p>Before time began, there was the cube.</p><p>Let's hope that Thor finds it before they harm us.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2019/05/episode-384-old-knights-chapters-1-4.html">Old Knights</a></i></p><p>Carter Knight sat down on the ground, tired after the maintenance check.</p><p>Not now that I've finally got Carter to come back.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2019/07/episode-388-fallout-south-carolina.html">Fallout South Carolina</a></i></p><p>War, war never changes.</p><p>Zoe, Claire, and Lee nodded their heads and followed the reunited couple into the Town of Divine.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2019/08/episode-389-shadow-of-phoenix.html">Shadow of a Phoenix</a></i></p><p>A plain room sat well back within the confines of the hidden Cobra base.</p><p>"There is no girl."</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2019/12/episode-396-fragments-of-zero-chapters.html">Fragments of Zero</a></i></p><p>Shigeru F. Kudo, a young twenty four year old pilot with a disheveled mess of reddish brown air, and a set of complete heterochromatic red and blue eyes runs quickly across an expansive hanger bay.</p><p>The Triad chuckles in unison, and slowly they disappear one after the other.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2020/03/episode-400-bubblegum-shift-chapter-1.html">Bubblegum Shift</a></i></p><p>The story begins around two and a half thousand years ago, in a little village on the steppes of northern Turkey.</p><p>Jim eagerly placed the little helicopter down on the pad, and he looked out across the starlit sea, realising that perhaps he'd finally come home.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2020/05/episode-405-chronicles-of-mad-dog.html">Chronicles of the Mad Dog Squadron</a></i></p><p>A strong, cool wind blew down from the northwest on an otherwise unseasonably warm December morning.</p><p>I smiled; these H-Brand guys really knew how to do business!</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2020/08/episode-412-escapism-chapters-1-8.html">Escapism</a></i></p><p>It was all so surreal, here we were, among giants of robotic aliens who were engaged in a bloody war facing off against each other.</p><p>She smiled, her glee over the documents were obvious and like a good friend, I smiled with her.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2020/09/episode-414-mobile-suit-gundam-00.html">Mobile Suit Gundam 00 Resistance</a></i></p><p>50 miles off the East Coast of New Zealand, near New Auckland City The clean blue waters of the Pacific were calm, save for a lone transport ship slicing its way through the ocean.</p><p>"I love you too...Artemis." Mileina replied, as the drifted off in each other's embrace.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2020/11/episode-417-hatred-versus-love-chapters.html">Hatred versus Love</a></i></p><p>Walking home from school, I'm listening to Katy Perry's Dark Horse, only to have an add pop up: making me roll my eyes and nearly throwing the phone.</p><p>You know what? I'm just going to go.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2021/01/episode-421-build-fighters-next-kai.html">Build Fighters: Next – Kai</a></i></p><p>Battlefield: Plains</p><p>He muttered something under his breath before nodding to himself and pulled out two model kids before walking off to the cashier.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2021/03/episode-424-this-is-my-life-chapters-1-6.html">This is my Life</a></i></p><p>It was an ordinary day in my little town of Phoenix, Arizona</p><p>It was going to be a long many of years.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2021/06/episode-429-zoids-battle-saga-chapters.html">Washed Up City</a></i></p><p>Young 15-year-old Dylan Hendrix blinked with amusement as his father began to explain the machine in front of him and the group.</p><p>Then not even Batman would stop her.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2021/06/episode-429-zoids-battle-saga-chapters.html">Zoids Battle Saga</a></i></p><p>A smoldering mess: the once proud city of Bulna now lies in ruin</p><p>Soon, he was out in the clear, crisp daylight, surrounded by the beautiful day.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2021/09/episode-435-cross-in-light-chapters-1-10.html">Cross in the Light</a></i></p><p>Oi, this is Crosshairs.</p><p>Was I wrong to think we could be friends?</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2021/11/episode-438-mutants-versus-zombies.html">Mutants versus Zombies</a></i></p><p>I was in my apartment room in New York.</p><p>I swear my face couldn't get any redder as everyone kept teasing about us the whole day.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2022/01/episode-440-deaths-fixer-chapters-1-3.html">Death’s Fixer</a></i></p><p>V stumbled at the entrance to the Afterlife.</p><p>"Then it a good thing I have its master with me then."</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2022/03/episode-443-son-of-primus-chapters-1-10.html">Son of Primus</a></i></p><p>Stripes, a white and blue BMW M3 GTR, pondered over his new-found existence as a Cybertronian. </p><p>It was Optimus Prime, back from the dead!</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2022/04/episode-445-robotech-new-age.html">Robotech the New Age</a></i></p><p>"Promotions are as follows," the female voice on the intercom called out.</p><p>"Blast them," he ordered…</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2022/05/episode-446-ready-player-one-adventures.html">Ready Player One: The Adventures of Jack</a></i></p><p>Jack made his way to the bridge of his ship.</p><p>He just needed to be smart about how he treated life in general.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2022/07/episode-452-trek-into-past-chapters-1-2.html">A Trek into the Past</a></i></p><p>My first two weeks aboard the starship Endeavor have been uneventful.</p><p>Linna looked at the metal with bleak eyes, "I think we're in serious trouble", she said, "If the Boomer's are *that* armoured....."</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2022/09/episode-454-snakes-in-megatokyo.html">Snakes in Megatokyo</a></i></p><p>On a quiet moon less night in Megatokyo, a silence that was broken by the wail of a police siren. </p><p>THE WORLD WILL BELONG TO ME, COBRA COMMANDER!!!!!" Exclaimed the Commander before letting out an insane laugh.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2022/09/episode-455-batman-future-knight.html">Batman the Future Knight</a></i></p><p>It was a cold and snowy Gotham night in the midst of November</p><p>He left the office and the building.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2022/11/episode-458-pack-rat-sins-of-father.html">Pack Rat – Sins of the Father</a></i></p><p>The sharp, staccato bark of Pack Rat's assault rifle ended as the last round of his magazine ejected, the chime of the brass clattering to the concrete floor echoing in the eerie silence of the warehouse.</p><p>“Yeah," Pack said, closing his eyes, "It is."</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2022/12/episode-461-after-cybertron-chapters-1-2.html">After Cybertron</a></i></p><p>There were those sounds.</p><p>His revival would soon come to pass and when it did, Optimus Prime would feel his wrath.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2023/04/episode-464-millennium-city-magic.html">Millennium City Magic</a></i></p><p>Harry James Potter had faced a lot of things in his young life, some he knew of, some he didn't. </p><p>"What do you think they run out of at the Westside station in the first two hours of his nerves getting the better of him," said a dead-panned C.O.M.B.A.T.</p><p>-----</p><p><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2023/05/episode-465-birds-of-prey.html">Birds of Prey</a></i></p><p>He sat in a dirty recliner wearing only his boxer shorts.</p><p>And Wild Weasel smiled smartly, his redemption assured.</p><p>-----</p><p><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2023/06/episode-466-stranger-named-six.html"><i>A Stranger Named Six</i></a></p><p>"A sea of blood will wash over the desert but it wouldn't purify it,"</p><p>"Not fucking happening," The fox laughed as the courier chewed his food.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-65002914472486214072023-06-29T01:22:00.003-07:002023-06-29T01:22:48.558-07:00Episode 466 - A Stranger Named Six<p><b>Episode 466:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/13kXTlbGW1A3VzFo-0iNa-4joUCwuqwQH/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">A Stranger Named Six</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>Oh no! Not Surprisingly Chill Ninja! He was my favourite character!</i></p><div>Having ensured a better future for a reclusive billionaire techbro through nuking thousands of innocents, Courier Six is at something of a loss for what to do with his life. Fortunately, a chance encounter sends him hurtling across time, space and reality to another world where he finds the one thing he’s really been missing in his life; hot fox-girl booty. So enamoured is he with this idea that he immediately gets over his wangst about how life is a meaningless void of existential despair and hooks up with the group of obviously evil ninjas because they seem nice. So sit back, relax and have some pizza for <i>A Stranger Named Six</i>. You have to, it’s the rules.</div><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-42738406768165099392023-05-21T01:02:00.003-07:002023-05-21T01:02:22.002-07:00Episode 465 - Birds of Prey<p><b>Episode 465:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/13HcKUk5zl37-mPcUaO4itRYw3lB0Fdh0/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">Birds of Prey</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>Turns out international terrorism is just her day job. Necromancy is her real passion.</i></p><div>Having been fired from his job as a high-tech international terrorist, Wild Weasel is looking for work and a shot at redemption. Fortunately, the team of Predatory Cougar, Junior Birdman and the Mothra Twins are hiring, looking for a pilot for their giant robot bird fortress. And so, with nothing better to do (and because it wouldn’t be much of a fic otherwise) he signs up and is thus pulled into possibly the stupidest and most overly elaborate revenge plot ever. So get your metal wings, your hand-held mini-jets, your magic amulet and possessed skull for <i>Birds of Prey</i>. Featuring the guy with the bird. No, not that one. The other one.</div><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-58294896141089312352023-04-30T16:57:00.004-07:002023-04-30T17:05:45.497-07:00Rebuild of Elmer Studios, year eleven<p> First of all, I’ll get the obvious point out of the way.
Yes, new posts have slowed to a crawl. There’s a number of reasons for this,
but one of them stands out above everything else.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">At the end of the day, this is still a hobby for us. Real
life is still our priority, and our post rate reflects that. We do this for
fun, but we have other things going on as well. This includes other writing
projects that are going to eat into our time and ability to focus on what we’re
doing here. And yes, these are original projects, not ones that are making fun
of bad fanfics written by other people.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">With that being said, our plan is to continue posting, even if
at a reduced rate. We’re no longer going to adhere to any schedule, but rather
post these things as they get done. This might mean that we could end up going
a month without a new fic, or that we could get a number done at once. But most
importantly, it’s about having fun. And that’s why we’re here.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So let’s take a look at what actually happened in Year
Eleven of the increasingly anachronistically named <i>Rebuild of Elmer Studios.<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> <span></span></o:p></p><a name='more'></a><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Crossover Season, redux<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Last year’s Crossover Season continued, although it was now
moving in a different direction to before. As with <i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2022/01/episode-440-deaths-fixer-chapters-1-3.html">Death’s Fixer</a> </i>last
year, it gave us an opportunity to engage with franchises that we hadn’t
covered before, while using the goofy crossover premise as a way to avoid some
of the obstacles that had made them inaccessible.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Case in point; the <i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/search/label/mass%20effect">Mass Effect</a> </i>franchise is known for
massive, cinderblock sized fics that are usually dry as all get out. However,
thanks to the goofiness inherent in crossovers, we managed to get a foot in the
door, which gives us options for more.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2022/09/episode-455-batman-future-knight.html">Batman: the Future Knight</a> </i>was a very fun case where
we had a fic that was driven by pure videogame logic, even to the point of
putting an enemy health bar in the narrative. Ironically, for our first <i>Mass
Effect</i> fic, it also turned out to be a case where it’s debatable if it even
needed to be a crossover to begin with. The fic could have just been entirely
about Batman punching people without the crossover, and it wouldn’t have made
any difference.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Conversely, <i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2022/12/episode-461-after-cybertron-chapters-1-2.html">After Cybertron</a> </i>bought us back to the
ever-popular <i>Transformers </i>crossover. This one served as an interesting
exploration of the perils of a crossover, where Optimus Prime ended up
completely usurping Shepard’s role in the story, to the point where we had to
wonder why she was even there. Sadly, it ended with the introduction of the
author’s pet OC. I say sadly because they were so over-the-top edgelord tryhard
that they likely would have ended up being hilarious.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Hello Crisis, my old friend<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The crossovers also saw us reunited with the past through
the same franchise, albeit in different ways.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>A <a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2022/07/episode-452-trek-into-past-chapters-1-2.html">Trek into the Past</a> </i>saw us reunited with the works
of Brett “Darkwind” Handy, who I have to say is one of my favourite authors
that we’ve ever covered here. This fic was very different to <i>Bubblegum
Shift, </i>however; less goofy and more just long, dry and dull, but at the
same time, featuring a lot of very stupid characters doing very stupid things.
Sadly, with the death of Brett’s personal website, the rest of his body of work
are entering into the ‘lost forever’ category.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">On the other hand, we also revisited <i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2022/09/episode-454-snakes-in-megatokyo.html">Snakes in Megatokyo</a>,
</i>another crossover which we had covered in past. My memories of it were that
it was goofy, but on a second pass, it was a lot less so. Jarring tonal shifts,
some very unfunny attempts at humour, an unwieldy crossover that never quite
came together and some content that had aged very badly made it a lot less fun
than I had hoped for.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Will we ever do a BGC 2040 fic? Probably not. Simply put,
there’s so few of them out there.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>You don’t know Jack<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Our single biggest fic of the year, however, was the amazing
<i><a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2022/05/episode-446-ready-player-one-adventures.html">Ready Player One – The Adventures of Jack</a>. </i>It was one of those cases where
the fic delivered on every level, from a bad plot to a terrible lead character
to poor use of the canon cast to massive plot holes to a comedically
ineffectual villain and more. Furthermore, it was a rare case of a fic actually
reaching its conclusion rather than simply wandering off, which made it a rare
treat. However, when it also finishes what you think is going to be its main
plot less than halfway in, you begin to wonder what’s really going on.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And that was the beauty of this fic. It managed to throw out
the setting and instead lose its way in the weeds, focusing on the minutiae of
pointless details. So instead of amazing video game adventures, you’re reading about
the Canadian tertiary education system, household chore assignments, strip mall
karate dojo lessons and all manner of other incredibly mundane, dull and boring
things that are adding nothing at all to the plot. And yet, the fic continues
to focus on all this. Furthermore, its actual plot only works because the
villain is basically being given free reign to do whatever he likes, even
though those in charge say they could stop him at any time – but never do.
However, he’s also a completely ineffectual punching bag for the protagonist. It’s
a strange conundrum.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But the real prize has to be Jack himself. It’s not just
that he’s your basic indestructible god-mode win at everything type that gets
us. No, it’s his real world persona, in which he’s a whiny, needy, entitled,
stalkerish creep who constantly whines about how awful his privileged upper
middle class life is while crying over the fact that he doesn’t have a
girlfriend (even though he’s basically leering at the one girl who likes him for
no reason at all). He’s an amazing collection of terrible traits that gives
<a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/search/label/my%20way%20to%20the%20championship">Kale “I like Zabanya” Cassel</a> a run for his money.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And yet, he also wasn’t the <a href="http://elmerstudios.blogspot.com/2022/11/episode-458-pack-rat-sins-of-father.html">creepiest incel</a> we saw in a fic
this year.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Get down and get gunting<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My pic for fic of the year would have to be <i>Ready Player
One – The Adventures of Jack </i>for all the reasons outlined above. Really,
that fic was a gift.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Likewise, if I had to pick a character of the year, I’d go
for Akira from Programming from the aforesaid fic. Her job basically amounted
to making terrible decisions that would affect literally billions of users, and
then keep doubling down on them throughout the rest of the fic. At no point did
anyone ever address how bad her decisions were, but rather they would continue
to heap praise on her and let her continue to build on her terrible ideas while
actively making things worse.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>An honourable mention needs to go out to Ken the nanotech future space lizard man from <i>Pack Rat, </i>for two reasons. The first is that he does have such a stupidly overdone origin story to the point where you wonder how the author came up with it. The second is that it's entirely irrelevant to the fic as a whole. </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><br /></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>So what’s next?<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">At this point, episodes 465 and 466 are in various stages of
work, and should be completed sooner rather than later. We’ve also picked out
several more fics for episodes to come, and yes, not all of them are
crossovers. And, as always, if you have a fic that you would like to donate or
a suggestion, then drop us a line.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-19387471899073459202023-04-09T04:20:00.001-07:002023-11-18T23:40:28.935-08:00Episode 464 - Millennium City Magic<p><b>Episode 464:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GJF9gSBMj5A5vdBckKslHpNvfrqkbamj/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">Millennium City Magic</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>Which logically means that Lucius Malfoy is built on less character points than Talisman or Black Paladin</i></p><div>This fic gets off to a flying start when a bunch of nine-year-old kids are locked up in a fully-stocked police armoury for their own safety, and yet it only manages to get stupider from there. For one of those kids is Harry Potter and the armoury contains a ridiculously advanced suit of experimental armour with a huge arsenal at its disposal, which means that you know things are going to end well. Next thing you know, the Boy Who Lived is flying around, doing tutorial quests and throwing senior citizens across the room, but it’s all okay since his godfather will throw money at problems to make them go away. So get your Qualaar beacons and your speed chart for <i>Millennium City Magic</i>. Now with added Grond!</div><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-90592519109245289542023-02-26T03:29:00.002-08:002023-02-26T03:29:24.863-08:00 Episode 463 - After Cybertron, chapters 5-7<p><b>Episode 463:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1a1R7DmbjLvKiHJ8hthow4DEMX2cHU35O/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">After Cybertron, chapters 5-7</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>He qualified for being a Spectre by running through a maze, ringing a bell and getting a piece of cheese</i></p><div>Now that Optimus Prime has had his regular round of dying and coming back to life, we can get back to what this fic is really about; that’s right, introducing characters. But this part of <i>After Cybertron</i> gives us an extra special treat! Not just do we have more random pointless Transformers in random pointless side-plots, but we also get to meet the author’s totally amazing, incredibly original OC complete with getting his tragic backstory dumped on us in the most awkward way possible. So get your cyberarm and your useless alt-mode for the last portion of <i>After Cybertron!</i> Also Shepard is in this, but you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise.</div><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-16752617701430686862023-01-29T00:07:00.003-08:002023-02-26T03:25:19.904-08:00Episode 462 - After Cybertron, chapters 3-4<p><b>Episode 462:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1j4ToMdgyzTclKY7dq6fK0BbBbCuiWYwN/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">After Cybertron, chapters 3-4</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>Hunting helicopter gunships, much like the Tyrannosaurus did millions of years ago</i></p><div>Saren and Sovereign have launched their assault on the Citadel, aiming to summon the Reapers and wipe out all life in the galaxy! Shepard is faced with an impossible decision in the battle to save all life. Except then a bunch of Transformers come along and effortlessly stomp everything while she stands around and goes ‘yay’ or something while draining every last hint of tension from the story. And so as the ominous guy says ominous things and the Transformers conceal themselves by going on giant robot rampage through the middle of the city you can enjoy some more chunks of <i>After Cybertron</i>. Eye-searing 90s colour schemes not included.</div><div><br /></div><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-23128803114845372782022-12-18T03:09:00.004-08:002022-12-18T03:09:55.379-08:00Episode 461 - After Cybertron, chapters 1-2<p><b>Episode 461:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GCRNXJ9Q5TZkBMYZWQTvslmPWDixjucz/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">After Cybertron, chapters 1-2</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>Oh hey. Massive hole in space-time. Didn’t see that coming.</i></p><div>The race is on to save the Galaxy, which means that Commander Shepard needs to drop everything she’s doing and sit through a lengthy PowerPoint presentation. Yes, that’s the basic premise of our newest fic in which the only force capable of rescuing civilisation from an army of killer space robots is another army of killer space robots, but only after they deliver a helping heap of pace-stumping exposition that nobody actually needed to know and that the readers were likely familiar with anyway. So throw a couch out the window and get your OC love interest for the first portion of <i>After Cybertron</i>. And remember, you had to ask.</div><div><br /></div><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-48824278783348688252022-12-03T21:03:00.005-08:002022-12-03T21:03:42.698-08:00Episode 460 - Pack Rat - Sins of the Father, chapters 12-13<p><b>Episode 460:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Myf-N4FteyCI2YYpQxzXA7efNwsWaBjA/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">Pack Rat - Sins of the Father, chapters 12-13</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>And this is why stupid people should not be allowed near operating theatres</i></p><div><div>Pack Rat has completed his lifelong goal of revenge. Doctor Medford is dead, his base destroyed and his army of killer catgirls are no more. Which is a bit of a problem given that we’re only halfway through the fic, making you wonder what it’s actually going to do next. If you’d guessed ‘gripping medical drama’ then you’d be pleasantly surprised. But if you’d also guessed ‘Pack Rat continues to be a whiny creep’ then, well, you got that one right as well. So head on up to the airship with your bigfoot drugs and your fruit smoothies for the conclusion to <i>Pack Rat – Sins of the Father.</i> Or is it?!</div><div><br /></div><div>Actually, yes, it is.</div></div><div><br /></div><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-72632233611073045982022-11-21T03:19:00.005-08:002022-11-21T03:19:48.621-08:00Episode 459 - Pack Rat - Sins of the Father, chapters 7-11<p><b>Episode 459:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1owNv_d9p-PVU80MAfMrIRusPfXK2o_Fr/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">Pack Rat - Sins of the Father, chapters 7-11</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>Leave him alone with drugs and a loaded gun. Great work there, Bigfoot.</i></p><div><div>The unamazing adventures of Pack Rat continue as he takes drugs, oggles catgirls, broods, counts his guns and pauses only to wonder why he’s still single. Having penetrated the lair of the cartoonishly evil terrorists he reaches his goal only to be shocked by a plot twist that is not only very predictable but is also so incredibly stupid that it undermines the rest of the fic. Will Pack Rat escape? Will the Huntresses not be acutely useless? Will Ken anything? Get your fold-up rocket launcher and your free Canadian healthcare for another amazing round of <i>Pack Rat – Sins of the Father</i> and maybe you’ll find out. But probably not.</div></div><div><br /></div><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-91527801924541217302022-11-09T03:05:00.002-08:002022-11-09T03:05:51.408-08:00Episode 458 - Pack Rat - Sins of the Father, chapters 1-6<p><b>Episode 458:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1w1AbsvRSrS-LfrAp4vcxUjIFwucQO-WX/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">Pack Rat - Sins of the Father, chapters 1-6</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>The mysterious alien visitor from beyond known as... Ken.</i></p><div>The only thing standing between evil snake-themed supertech terrorists and world domination is a team consisting of Rat Fink, Edgelord the Werewolf, Future Space Lizardman and someone’s Undertale OC. Which means that we’re probably in a lot of trouble, not that it really matters for this fic. What it’s mostly about is the titular rat man hiding out in his basement, building bombs, polishing his guns, brooding, plotting revenge, being generally hostile to everyone around him and wondering why nobody likes him. So load up your oversized compensation revolver, grab some health packs and smash some outdoor furniture for <i>Pack Rat – Sins of the Father.</i> Warning, contains stupid sexy catboys.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-53028007941845633882022-10-23T00:21:00.003-07:002022-12-18T03:10:48.145-08:00Episode 457 - Batman: the Future Knight, chapters 7-8<p><b>Episode 457:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Diy31eItpvl43A4Pp9P46SSd9zqvQkgf/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">Batman: the Future Knight, chapters 7-8</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>Scene of Batman punching rats omitted for time</i></p><div><div>In this chunk of fanfiction-like object, Batman takes a break from saving the Galaxy from a poorly defined threat to brush his teeth, cook dinner, play minigames and collect trophies. Yes, it’s side quests galore as our story grinds to a halt, punctuated only by long, drawn-out fight scenes and, as a change, a flashback to another long drawn-out fight scene and then the promise of some more long, drawn-out fight scenes to come. So get your collectables, your rat funnels and your dead robot for the final portion of <i>Batman the Future Knight.</i> Oh, and there might also be some person called Shepard or something. I dunno. They’re probably not important.</div></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-57971405330326627862022-10-03T03:46:00.004-07:002022-12-18T03:10:36.077-08:00Episode 456 - Batman: the Future Knight, chapters 5-6<p><b>Episode 456:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-a-ffEw66HTY_enwKiWRB1HlslvYVyqn/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">Batman: the Future Knight, chapters 5-6</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>Whenever I see a fuel pump and a robot, I immediately think ‘voice synthesizer.’ It’s just common sense.</i></p><div><div>We’ve seen a lot of stupid things in these fics so far, but this one takes the cake. For not only does this chunk of <i>Batman: the Future Knight</i> have a boss fight complete with game mechanics, but it also has the boss’ health bar in the text which diminishes with each attack Batman makes, and keeps this going for a not insubstantial amount of text. But it’s not just all fighting bad guys, as in this chapter, Batman cooks dinner, watches funny cat videos and attends an office meeting where he awards the employee of the month!* So head on down to the local dung-filled peasant village and beat up a supermarket full of raiders for the next chunk of <i>Batman: the Future Knight</i>. Now with noodles!</div><div><br /></div><div>*This actually happens.</div></div><div><br /></div><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-18334108032051316032022-09-18T01:37:00.004-07:002022-12-18T03:10:23.594-08:00Episode 455 - Batman: the Future Knight, chapters 1-4<p><b>Episode 455:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/159rdBW-mG87GnFkrYsSk6V700UKKZqLY/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">Batman: the Future Knight, chapters 1-4</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>I’m just saying that if we cut to Garrus chopping wood outside his cabin and talking about being pulled back in for one more job, this fic will be totally worth it</i></p><p>After a long career of beating up goons in Gotham City, Batman is frozen in ice. Waking up a century and a half later in a strange new world, he immediately goes back to beating up goons, and proceeds to do such for the rest of the fic. Fortunately for him there is a massive interstellar corporation sitting around waiting just in case something like this happens so they can throw piles of new gear at him to better enable the aforesaid goon beatdowns. So get your Rec and your electric smoke bombs for <i>Batman: the Future Knight</i>. It’s so good you’ll want to hide out in your secret bunker underneath your other secret bunker!</p><div><br /></div><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-1884810169703512642022-09-04T01:24:00.004-07:002022-09-04T01:24:55.333-07:00Episode 454 - Snakes in MegaTokyo<p><b>Episode 454:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VKtxBSkYaDcGPsuznFjFbWY1JVc_kfIM/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">Snakes in MegaTokyo</a></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>Eyewitnesses reported two heavily armed soldiers wearing the uniforms of a known terrorist organisation carrying an unconscious man off before loading him into a black jet fighter that then flew away, but we don’t think there’s a connection</i></p><p>In a break from the usual killer robot rampages, MegaTokyo is instead attacked by evil snake-themed terrorists as a part of their plan to sell action figures. Fortunately, the Knight Sabers are there to deal with a tense hostage situation by going in all guns blazing and dispensing justice with a series of crotch kicks, but things still go horribly wrong despite this brilliant plan. Will Sylia escape the clutches of Cobra? Will Mackie remember the proper clean-up procedures at work? Will Rick ever make a second <i>Grand Mal</i> joke? As you ponder these matters, grab yourself a stolen uniform and can of Uncle Wilikins Grape Soda for <i>Snakes in MegaTokyo</i>. It’s the most eighties crossover you can think of!</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Riffers:</b> Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1486936426905794249.post-19525299213179880632022-08-07T01:21:00.003-07:002022-08-07T01:21:28.979-07:00Episode 453 - A Trek Into the Past, chapter 3<p><b>Episode 453:</b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/12l5HIzl8s6078CiTxEaLMnOH6v6GVkIx/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111348570459712494748&rtpof=true&sd=true">A Trek Into the Past, chapter 3</a></p><p><br /></p><p><i>But if you inadvertently erase me from history then I’m never going to speak to you again.</i></p><p>Having found themselves trapped in the past, our trio of brave explorers (Doctor, Vulcan and Girl) must contend with their own stupidity and apparent need to make everything even more difficult for themselves then it is already. And as if walking around being as blatantly obvious to everyone around them isn’t bad enough, there’s also the daily killer robot attack to deal with. Can Doctor Guy save the day and cure a bad case of disembowelment? Will Quincy shout at more random scientists? Will the USSD subplot go anywhere? Read on in <i>A Trek to the Past</i> for the unsurprising answers to these and not much else. Now featuring a glossary!</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Riffers:</b> ?, ?, ? and ?</p><p><b>Written by:</b> Zogster and Rick R.</p><p><br /></p>Alex Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08191818755928728576noreply@blogger.com0