Sunday, April 30, 2023

Rebuild of Elmer Studios, year eleven

 First of all, I’ll get the obvious point out of the way. Yes, new posts have slowed to a crawl. There’s a number of reasons for this, but one of them stands out above everything else.

At the end of the day, this is still a hobby for us. Real life is still our priority, and our post rate reflects that. We do this for fun, but we have other things going on as well. This includes other writing projects that are going to eat into our time and ability to focus on what we’re doing here. And yes, these are original projects, not ones that are making fun of bad fanfics written by other people.

With that being said, our plan is to continue posting, even if at a reduced rate. We’re no longer going to adhere to any schedule, but rather post these things as they get done. This might mean that we could end up going a month without a new fic, or that we could get a number done at once. But most importantly, it’s about having fun. And that’s why we’re here.

So let’s take a look at what actually happened in Year Eleven of the increasingly anachronistically named Rebuild of Elmer Studios.

 

Sunday, April 9, 2023

Episode 464 - Millennium City Magic

Episode 464: Millennium City Magic


Which logically means that Lucius Malfoy is built on less character points than Talisman or Black Paladin

This fic gets off to a flying start when a bunch of nine-year-old kids are locked up in a fully-stocked police armoury for their own safety, and yet it only manages to get stupider from there. For one of those kids is Harry Potter and the armoury contains a ridiculously advanced suit of experimental armour with a huge arsenal at its disposal, which means that you know things are going to end well. Next thing you know, the Boy Who Lived is flying around, doing tutorial quests and throwing senior citizens across the room, but it’s all okay since his godfather will throw money at problems to make them go away. So get your Qualaar beacons and your speed chart for Millennium City Magic. Now with added Grond!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.


Sunday, February 26, 2023

Episode 463 - After Cybertron, chapters 5-7

Episode 463: After Cybertron, chapters 5-7


He qualified for being a Spectre by running through a maze, ringing a bell and getting a piece of cheese

Now that Optimus Prime has had his regular round of dying and coming back to life, we can get back to what this fic is really about; that’s right, introducing characters. But this part of After Cybertron gives us an extra special treat! Not just do we have more random pointless Transformers in random pointless side-plots, but we also get to meet the author’s totally amazing, incredibly original OC complete with getting his tragic backstory dumped on us in the most awkward way possible. So get your cyberarm and your useless alt-mode for the last portion of After Cybertron! Also Shepard is in this, but you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.


Sunday, January 29, 2023

Episode 462 - After Cybertron, chapters 3-4

Episode 462: After Cybertron, chapters 3-4


Hunting helicopter gunships, much like the Tyrannosaurus did millions of years ago

Saren and Sovereign have launched their assault on the Citadel, aiming to summon the Reapers and wipe out all life in the galaxy! Shepard is faced with an impossible decision in the battle to save all life. Except then a bunch of Transformers come along and effortlessly stomp everything while she stands around and goes ‘yay’ or something while draining every last hint of tension from the story. And so as the ominous guy says ominous things and the Transformers conceal themselves by going on giant robot rampage through the middle of the city you can enjoy some more chunks of After Cybertron. Eye-searing 90s colour schemes not included.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.


Sunday, December 18, 2022

Episode 461 - After Cybertron, chapters 1-2

Episode 461: After Cybertron, chapters 1-2


Oh hey. Massive hole in space-time. Didn’t see that coming.

The race is on to save the Galaxy, which means that Commander Shepard needs to drop everything she’s doing and sit through a lengthy PowerPoint presentation. Yes, that’s the basic premise of our newest fic in which the only force capable of rescuing civilisation from an army of killer space robots is another army of killer space robots, but only after they deliver a helping heap of pace-stumping exposition that nobody actually needed to know and that the readers were likely familiar with anyway. So throw a couch out the window and get your OC love interest for the first portion of After Cybertron. And remember, you had to ask.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.


Saturday, December 3, 2022

Episode 460 - Pack Rat - Sins of the Father, chapters 12-13

Episode 460: Pack Rat - Sins of the Father, chapters 12-13


And this is why stupid people should not be allowed near operating theatres

Pack Rat has completed his lifelong goal of revenge. Doctor Medford is dead, his base destroyed and his army of killer catgirls are no more. Which is a bit of a problem given that we’re only halfway through the fic, making you wonder what it’s actually going to do next. If you’d guessed ‘gripping medical drama’ then you’d be pleasantly surprised. But if you’d also guessed ‘Pack Rat continues to be a whiny creep’ then, well, you got that one right as well. So head on up to the airship with your bigfoot drugs and your fruit smoothies for the conclusion to Pack Rat – Sins of the Father. Or is it?!

Actually, yes, it is.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.


Monday, November 21, 2022

Episode 459 - Pack Rat - Sins of the Father, chapters 7-11

Episode 459: Pack Rat - Sins of the Father, chapters 7-11


Leave him alone with drugs and a loaded gun. Great work there, Bigfoot.

The unamazing adventures of Pack Rat continue as he takes drugs, oggles catgirls, broods, counts his guns and pauses only to wonder why he’s still single. Having penetrated the lair of the cartoonishly evil terrorists he reaches his goal only to be shocked by a plot twist that is not only very predictable but is also so incredibly stupid that it undermines the rest of the fic. Will Pack Rat escape? Will the Huntresses not be acutely useless? Will Ken anything? Get your fold-up rocket launcher and your free Canadian healthcare for another amazing round of Pack Rat – Sins of the Father and maybe you’ll find out. But probably not.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.