Episode 327 - Storm Force: Robot Raider, parts 1-4

Episode 327: Storm Force: Robot Raider, parts 1-4

A giant metal man is fighting a robot gorilla. We might as well all go home now, because it's not going to get any better than this.

Straight from the pages of Battle with Storm Force (And Action, Boy’s World, Champion, Fantastic, Lion, Pow!, Smash!, Terrific, Thunder, TV21, Valiant, Vulcan and Wham!) comes another tale of manly men (and token girl) punching things to make a better world or something! A reclusive renegade genius unleashes robot bank robbers, cyborg gorillas, giant mechanical ants and quadcopters with GoPros to plague mankind, and only our heroes, Detachable Arm, Spikey McGrumblebum, the greatest ninja in Yorkshire, Full Metal Codpiece, Weiner Man and the one with the girl bits can stop them! That is, if their own staggering ineptitude doesn’t do them in first. So grab your samurai sword, your flamethrower arm and your exo-skeleton and go make mechanoids explode! It’s about war stories that are realistic and gritty, after all.

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

Episode 326 - Trinity: Forgotten Flame, chapters 24-30

Episode 326: Trinity: Forgotten Flame, chapters 24-30

Yeah, it's so much hard work saving the galaxy. Again, suck it up space princess.

Trinity: Forgotten Flame gallops towards the sweet merciful release of death in this final installment! Having discovered the location of the lost planet of Zalcoria, our alleged... Wait what? What do you mean the lost planet of where? It's that key thing that's vital to the threadbare plot of this lame excuse for a novel. What do you mean it hasn't once been mentioned so far? Well crap. Look, there's a lost planet, there's evil precursor aliens, there's a threat to the whole galaxy, you get it, right? You're saying that none of this has been made even remotely clear so far? Huh... Well... I guess we can shove in some massive pace-stumping exposition in the penultimate chapter and just vomit text at the reader or something. I dunno. Anyway, it's the end, so be thankful for that much. Well, until the second book, that is.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 325 - Trinity: Forgotten Flame, chapters 18-23

Episode 325: Trinity: Forgotten Flame, chapters 18-23

God-damned Transhumanists ruin everything.

If there is one thing that you could say about Trinity: Forgotten Flame, it's that it has an amazing ability to raise potentially interesting plot points and then immediately flush them away. This latest semi-digested lump is a great example of that as issues of self versus identity, free will, past actions and their consequences and the effects of one's decisions on others are immediately thrown aside in favor of more badly written smarm. So join us as Lauren gets heaped with massive amounts of emotional trauma, Bek fades into obscurity, the other kid (you know, what’s his name) performs experimental brain surgery on himself and Kirsten is absolved of being a mass-murderer because she's good in the sack in the next portion of this crime against text. All this plus cake! We don’t know why, just cake.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 324 - Dinobot's Old Technology series

Episode 324: Dinobot's Old Technology series

At this point I think the dialogue’s being written by some sort of random word generator

Legends tell of a brave warrior who lived a warrior ans died to an hero. They tell of how he fell, and how he was reborn as a fratricidal backstabbing murderer who seemed to be doing everything in his power to be sabotage his own team. This is that story-like substance, the long string of random events known as Dinobot's Old Technology. Possibly maybe a Beast Wars fanfic, this series tackles big questions of life, death, fate, destiny, mortality and stuff blowing up with all the coherence that you expect out of a half-snake, half-ant, half-tyrannosaurus monster. So make your calcule about Steses Pods, insert your rotate blade, and shout Japanese noodle commercial slogans as you try to figure out what the hell it is you're reading and why Rhinox is death.

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Rick R.

July update

June was a very slow month; we only got a single episode out and it was right at the end of said month to boot. There were a number of reasons for this, and the sheer size of Trinity: Forgotten Flame was only a part of the problem; we also had a lot going on in the month that kept us very busy and under a lot of pressure.

The good news is that things will be faster in July. Episodes 323 and 324 are both in progress; both are B-Teams. Trinity will continue after that in episodes 324 and 325. Looking further into the future, we have fics picked out all the way up to 332 (not including B-Teams) which will also include fictional franchises that we haven't ever covered before. Finally, we have several more fics in consideration after that.

As can be seen, our Strategic Fic Reserve has been refreshed and is somewhat strong. However, we're allways on the lookout for new material. As Trinity shows, donations have been rather lucrative for us and more are allways welcome.

Episode 323 - Trinity: Forgotten Flame, chapters 8-17

Episode 323: Trinity: Forgotten Flame, chapters 8-17

At nights back in the orphanage, she would lie awake, imagining the wonders of the wider universe and what amazing sights waited for her out there. And now it's come down to a Suicide Girl reject fighting a furry, she just wants to go home and cry.

Imagine you're the Prophet. Imagine you're the villain. Imagine you have a perfect opportunity to get the McGuffin drive. Imagine you threw it away without a thought. Imagine your henchmen are the Doge. Imagine they're the doggiest dog aliens that ever dogged a dog. Imagine you're up against Kirsten. Imagine you're giving her a run for being the stupidest person in the universe. Imagine you’ve just been outsmarted by someone who thinks that naked wrestling is a sensible plan. Imagine that this is the same woman who after being nearly stabbed to death for going off alone then proceeds to keep on going off alone. Imagine that your entire plan is about to be undone by the world’s least interesting pirate visiting a museum. Now you don't have to. Trinity.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 322 - Trinity: Forgotten Flame, chapters 1-7

Episode 322: Trinity: Forgotten Flame, chapters 1-7

This Sexy dialogue isn't sexy. It's unSexy. It's noSexy. It's the inverse of sexy. It's sexy divided by zero.

Elmer Studios is proud to present something entirely new: an original*, professionally* written* and published* sci-fi novel*. Trinity: Forgotten Flame chronicles the adventures of brave and so very stupid space captain Kirsten Fairchild as she tries to support a nonsense business model, wreck her own ship and find new things to have sex with. Aided by her crew of totally-not-evil killer AIs and super ethical space pirate Bek Storm, she must fight armies of killer cyborgs who won’t stop until they get the Generic McGuffin that she possesses. Throw in some orphan twins (age eighteen and fifteen), a disembodied brain comedy club, dialogue by the Porn Writing Robot and heavy-handed attempts at self-justification and you have the first quarter of Trinity: Forgotten Flame. It’s something that might resemble a book if you had suffered massive head trauma.

*For very generous definitions thereof

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.