Episode 398 - Fragments of Zero, chapter 7

Episode 398: Fragments of Zero, chapter 7

Rule one, never get into hand to hand combat with something that has more arms than you.

After forty-eight chapters of prelude (and Shigeru being slappably smug) we finally get to the actual plot (and more of Shigeru being slappably smug). And as the obligatory concert is interrupted by the obligatory alien war bug attack, Shigeru gets to literally shoving the canon cast out of the fic. In the meantime, everyone talks about the fact that dances are a thing that exist and how it’s possible to drink a juice box in anger while they probably should actually be dealing with the aforementioned alien war bug attack instead of putting it off for somebody else to handle. But you know, priorities and all that. So grab your animated soda mascot and play a solo round of Hungry Hungry Hippos for the next portion of Fragments of Zero.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 397 - Fragments of Zero, chapters 3-6

Episode 397: Fragments of Zero, chapters 3-6

Ma’am, I’m just here to get paid, so... If you’d leave out the sinister innuendos, that would be swell.

In this next portion of Fragments of Zero, Shigeru is an obnoxious, overbearing jackarse and everybody talks him up. Meanwhile, his sister is utterly clueless and wastes precious text while everybody talks her up. On top of that, his mother is completely insane, but everybody talks her up no less. We’re also introduced to even more OCs who doubtless will have people talking them up as well in short order. If you’ve noticed a pattern forming here then you’ve probably begun to figure out how this fanfic works. Throw in some more completely unmemorable and indistinguishable minor videogame characters and possibly an alien bug attack and you’re all set for this chapter. (nondescript plot complicating disease not withstanding)

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 396 - Fragments of Zero, chapters 1-2

Episode 396: Fragments of Zero, chapters 1-2

How am I supposed to kick-start the Singularity under these conditions? It’s just intolerable.

Meet Generic Shonen Protagonist Shigeru F. Kodo, your basic general purpose hotshot pilot guy. He and his elite team of dating sim characters are here to save Macross Frontier from its canon cast so he can, of course, be the middle of everything. But it’s not just about him, however. I mean, there’s also his OC sister who exists to talk him up as well. And to make matters worse, he has to take time out from needlessly annoying a famous singing star to avoid his insane mother and possibly fight a galaxy-wide alien bug war. I’ll let you guess which one of those is more important to this fic, but if you’ve made it this far you’ve probably already figured it out.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 395 - Shadow of a Phoenix, chapters 26-28

Episode 395: Shadow of a Phoenix, chapters 26-28

Alright, all the constant door handle instructions have been leading to this moment!


Seven years. Just keep repeating that figure in your heard as you read through this, the last (but by no means final) part of Shadow of a Phoenix. So what does the fic have to show for itself after so long? Well the answer is not much, really. In this, its dying breaths, we get an uninteresting interview with a corporate executive, an elevator ride and god-awful interior décor. And that’s it. No conclusion, no resolution, no nothing. And yet, this fic being itself, it still takes forever to get nowhere. So it’s time to get your 5mm grid paper and your loot sack then sit in your office alone and drink all day for this, the unepic unconclusion to Shadow of a Phoenix.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 394 - Shadow of a Phoenix, chapters 22-25

Episode 394: Shadow of a Phoenix, chapters 22-25

He’d wound up wasting a fortune on a ninja consultant who’d done nothing but spout buzzwords before vanishing in a cloud of smoke.


In this chunk of Shadow of a Phoenix, Midnight’s Shadow can’t sleep, and an arms dealer has an over-designed lobby. And that’s it. For four chapters. In a fic that took seven years to write. Seven years. And so as Kate Moon rolls over in her bed and stares at the ceiling in real time, I want you to think about that and ask yourself what the hell was the point of all this, because I have nothing at all. Me, I’ll be off critiquing the interior decor, because that’s by far and away the most interesting part of the whole fic. So get a tattoo for your shirt and sit in the waiting room for the unending unamazing unadventure that is Shadow of a Phoenix.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 393 - Shadow of a Phoenix, chapters 18-21

Episode 393: Shadow of a Phoenix, chapters 18-21

Lateral thinking I Spy is the best way to play.

After about six dozen chapters of sitting around and moping, the plot of Shadow of a Phoenix finally inches forwards a little bit as we discover a smidgen about Midnight’s Shadow’s past and just how stupid her name actually is. Naturally, this causes the plot to then grind to a halt as the GI Joe team check into a hotel. Yes, the fic is that exciting, folks. I mean, her father is a clearly unhinged weapons designer and she’s on the run from a supertech terrorist force, but nope, hallway carpet is what this fic is most concerned with. I mean, the bulk of this chunk of fic could be skipped over, but nooo… We have to get every last excruciating detail of the most mundane of things. Ahem. So sit back and try not to fall asleep as we slip into the next four chapters of Shadow of a Phoenix. Now with added character development!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 392 - Shadow of a Phoenix, chapters 14-17

Episode 392: Shadow of a Phoenix, chapters 14-17

She’s becoming introspective about her introspection. Any more navel-gazing and we’re going to collapse into a superdense black hole of brooding.

When you’re running a top secret supertech multinational covert task force, you need to be very careful about who you recruit into your ranks. For example, you wouldn’t take in an alleged amnesiac who has apparently spent their life living off the grid and doesn’t even know their own name. However, since this is a fanfic the GI Joe team naturally unquestioningly take in Midnight’s Shadow despite the fact that they have no idea who she is and only her word about a thing she says. Naturally everybody is okay with this, except for Midnight Shadow herself who whines about every last little thing to the people who are being nice to her and giving her an unparalleled opportunity. Throw in a game of charades and something that might pass for a clothes shopping montage and you have the next immobile lump of Shadow of a Phoenix.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.