Episode 511 - Cyberpunk I: 2089, chapters 6-9

Episode 511: Cyberpunk I: 2089, chapters 6-9

We now return you to ‘sad guy argues with kid,’ already in progress.

As Cyberpunk 2089 continues, we’re faced with one very big question; what does any of this have to do with anything? How is any of this going to come together at all? What's the connection between Van's incredibly stupid revenge plan and Vito's festival of cop movie clichés? And more to the point, do we actually care? I don't and I suspect you don't either. So sit back, relax and grab a soylent green burrito with your buddies Blue Jeans Code, Jumpsuit Janet, Mini-Disk and Pantsless Joe for the next few chapters of Cyberpunk 2089. And send OCs. Please send OCs. I’m begging you as I can't write the fic if you don't.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 510 - Cyberpunk I: 2089, chapters 1-5

Episode 510: Cyberpunk I: 2089, chapters 1-5

He has a leathery earlobe, if that helps.

Welcome to Night City in the year 2089 where literally nothing has changed in over a decade and the status quo seems to be enforced by law. It’s a city with a million stories, and you might end up actually reading some of them as a collection of random idiots stumble around through overly forced introductions in an effort to make you the reader decide which one of them you dislike the most. So you better get used to Nomad Kid, Street Kid, Odious Jogging Girl, Idiot Corpo and Cop Movie Cliché Guy because we're in for the long run with the first part of Cyberpunk I: 2089. Please send OCs. No, please, I’m begging you.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 477 - The Normandy's Nomads

Episode 477: The Normandy's Nomads

The Times Square Naked Cowboy wore it better.

Meet V. He’s a blood-soaked murder machine who’s horny as all get out and dumb as a bag of rocks. Meet Shepard. She’s horny as all get out and dumb as a bag of rocks, with the blood-soaked murder machine being assumed. Together they both kind of sort of exist in this fic which consists of setting things up without the pair of them ever meeting or even being aware of each other’s existence. But what it’s really about is listing people’s inventories, because that remains a key part of our fic experience. So grab your trillion-dollar bank transfer and your blatant McGuffin for The Normandy’s Nomads. It’s short, but oh so very stupid.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 467 - The Neon Lily of Night City

Episode 467: The Neon Lily of Night City

Whoso pulleth this Mantis Blade from this thug’s pelvis is rightful crowned king of England

Meet Harry Potter and Fleur Delacour. He’s a merc who’s main skill is being loud and obnoxious, and she’s a corpo who’s mostly defined by her silly accent. They’re the two dumbest and horniest people in Night City, a fact that this fic will remind you of at every possible moment. Together they’re going to plan a heist, but that’s not what this is all about. Instead it’s about the pair of them trying to jump into each other’s pants at every opportunity while everyone around them tries to join in. So grab your mantis blade, your vending machine burrito and your obvious trap for The Neon Lily of Night City. Eeez very zilly ‘fic, no?

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 442 - Death's Fixer, chapters 7-9

Episode 442: Death's Fixer, chapters 7-9

Judy has realised that her crappy childhood didn’t feature any dragon chases and she feels strangely robbed

As Death’s Fixer continues its relentless advance, we have to ask a big question. What is V actually doing for this fic? They’re not finishing story quests, they rarely fight bad guys and they’re at the stage where getting their clothes cleaned is a major plot point. And while Judy gets drunk, Panam complains about the parking and Takamura passes out in a back alley, the fic shifts its focus to other popular Cyberpunk 2077 characters, like Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom, Ginny Weasley, Blaise Zabani, Cruckshanks and Dobby the House Elf. So shoot straight, conserve ammo and never do a deal with a dragon for another three chapters of Death’s Fixer. Yes, there is actually a dragon in there.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis

Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 441 - Death's Fixer, chapters 4-6

Episode 441: Death's Fixer, chapters 4-6

There is no trombone noise sad enough

Not just does this Cyberpunk 2077 fic have Harry Potter walking around in it, but it turns out that he’s not the only wizard in the world either. And so while Panam tries out an F-Bomb based magic system and we grapple with the implications that all the Aldecaldos are also wizards, we the reader need to ask ourselves a number of questions. Chief among them is why the author didn’t just write a Shadowrun fanfic instead, because that would make a lot more sense. So get your wand, steal some copper wire and finish some story quests for Death’s Fixer. Now featuring Bigfoot or possibly Neville Longbottom. It’s hard to tell.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Episode 440 - Death's Fixer, chapters 1-3

Episode 440: Death's Fixer, chapters 1-3

V and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad heist

V has a lot on her plate right now. Not only does she have a dead terrorist in her head and is being slowly killed by a piece of malfunctioning advanced technology, but now she has to deal with an utter tosser who is claiming to be a wizard and taking over her story. Not that said wizard is being subtle with it or the like, given that he’s basically wandering around and shooting people with magic spells in broad daylight while screaming ‘I am a wizard’ at passing people and being insufferably smug about it in defiance of all the rules that magic people are supposed to follow or something. So grab your robot arm, T-Pose on a motorcycle and play a round of beer pong with Nibbles for Harry Potter and the Malfunctioning Biochip Death’s Fixer.

Bakkers!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.