I’ve read a lot of badfic. Gord alone knows how much, but…
lots. But even amongst all that crap, there’s a few that stick out and have
strange soft spots in my heart. So here are my top (or bottom) “best worst” fics.
All of them are available at the Elmer Studios Archive for your “pleasure”.
(dis)Honourable Mention: The Dark Spiner
Had Elmer Studios still been in the MSTing business c2003,
then this one would have been in the lineup. It’s your basic idiotic, horribly
over-powered, centre of the universe Gary Stu (Who shares their name with the
author, no less!) in a loopy, incoherent fic that isn’t so much read as it’s
shouted at you by your monitor. Added to that, it somehow became the sort of
fanon that gets mistaken for canon by idiots, which only increases the suck.
(dis)Honourable Mention:
Robotech Sentinels Rubicon
Sentinels Rubicon isn’t
a fanfic, but rather it’s a professionally published comic. Yet, it manages to reach
levels of stupid and crap that makes some of the worst fanfic you’ve ever read
seem professional by comparison. It manages to be bad on every level; bad art,
bad writing, bad chracterisation, bad plot, bad inking, bad toning, bad
lettering and even bad staples. And
then when you go behind the scenes and realize the sheer levels of BS that went
into the creation of the comic, it gets even worse.
On the other hand, it gave me the White Light Of EEEEE, so I
can’t fully hate it.
Bubblegum Shift
One of the early fics and (though I’m probably wrong) our
first Bubblegum Crisis fic and
Self-Insert. Jim “Darkwind” Williams is pretty much the textbook Gary Stu; he’s
all-powerful, posses contrived abilities and walks all over the cast. Added to
that he has a rival who, while he also effortlessly walks over the canon characters
exists only to be spanked. On the other hand, while not the authors’ intent,
Jim comes off as being as dumb as a bag of hammers.
Recollections of a
Tekkaman
When you’re writing a fanfic within an existing world but featuring
an entirely new cast, great care has to be taken to creating a believable and
solid cast. This fic doesn’t do that. Instead, what it does is present a cast
full of one-dimensional idiots with contrived powers who then promptly proceed
to contrive more powers as they go along. Throw in an idiot hero and a villain
who’s pretty much a walking cliché, and you see why I love this fic. The pointless
nonsense crossover is just a bonus.
Neon Exodus
Evangelion (The Other One)
Inadvertently transgendered Shinji! Butch square-jawed space
hero Kensuke! Ferociously stroppy and inane doctor lady! The dreaded yellow
dot! Potentially interesting premise that was poorly executed? Maybe. Pile of
crap? Probably. Funny? Damn right.
Bubblegum Climax:
Freefall
An original villain in fanfic is one of those things that
can be crappy in so many different ways. One of those is to simply be a boring, generic
idiot like Demmond in this fic is. He’s dumb as a bag of hammers, sprouts cliché
lines (Hmm, notice a pattern forming?) has a nonsense plan and doesn’t even
begin to look like a credible threat to anyone, especially not the heroes. And,
as a bonus, it has an incredibly inane extra character who we’re supposed to
care about but don’t.
Hellstorm Evangelion
Putting aside claims about the fic’s author, the Hellstorm series is one of my personal
guilty pleasures. It should be
awful, what with the nonsense plot, terrible writing, atrocious spelling and
punctuation and what could only be described as complete canon defilement.
Instead it’s frigging hilarious, coming off more of an Evangelion version of Axe Cop
– Only a decade too early.
DELTA Invasion
Oh, you knew it would be here.
There’s very little that I can say about Delta that hasn’t already been said a
zillion times over. Tom is so stupidly over-powered, the characters are OOC to
the point of camp, the Invadors are doofy mix-and-match critters and John
Barren is Special. So instead I’ll link you to the Random Delta Invasion Episode Generator, which summarises the
plot far better then I ever could.
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