We do fanfics that are bad. That’s the whole point. But there’s different kinds of bad. While I spend a lot of time clenching while reading, there are some fics that stick out because, for whatever strange reason, I genuinely enjoyed them. A lot of them spring from the sincerity in the writing, while others have me more laughing like a maniac trying to make sense of them. Or of course, a fic can do both.
So here’s my top five fics that I sat back and enjoyed, each with their own distinct appeal.
If you asked me to write a summary of Zoids Battle Saga, I really couldn’t. I could name some characters, but their roles and what they actually did in the story elude me. Not just because it was a while ago, but because it so wildly disjointed that it’s almost impossible to tell what’s actually going on from chapter to chapter. It was about Stank’s Quest to Do Stuff that he found in a hole in the ground until it wasn’t, whereupon Kenji the random schoolkid came along and vanished just as abruptly. After that it seems to flop between different characters purely at random. I think it ended. I’m really not sure.
Zoids Battle Saga was a treasure. A rambling incoherent delight that had no idea what it was doing, where it was going or even who its main character was. I remember that I read it thoroughly while choosing the fic, but still had no idea what to expect during the riff. It was full of endless curveballs, and constantly led to me back-tracking to try and figure out what was going on. Except of course, that was the wrong approach. The only thing to do with Zoids Battle Saga was sit back and let the madness sweep you away.
And we got to call a guy Automoose. You can’t buy that.
The Legion of the Mysterious Black X-1 VT Fighter
We called this one “The Black X-1” for obvious reasons, although “oh god what” was another good name for it. It was a drunken, incoherent fic featuring a drunken, incoherent lead character in the form of Brick Hactar. Aside from having one of the most names we’ve ever come across, Brick Hactar sticks in my mind because of how little he’s like the regular OCs we get. He’s a flawed, failure of a man with grand dreams which makes him vastly more appealing than any number of infallible lead characters.
Of course, there’s so much more to the fic than Brick. It is written in a rambling, over the top style with dialogue that demands to be shouted out loud. The story is infused with the writer’s enthusiasm for their subject at every level, with an earnesty that’s genuinely heartwarming. It’s never dry or dull. Additionally, I love that a good chunk of it is about empowering Lisa Hayse, a character who is often overlooked and sidelined on the rare occasion she gets to appear in these fics.
So pour one out for my man Brick Hactar. We may never see his like again.
Dreamstar and the Court of Dreams
I remember when I first read Dreamstar and the Court of Dreams, I had two immediate reactions. The first was “what even is this” as a lead character was run down by a three-hundred pound dog. The second was the most immediate “I must use this” I have ever had to a fic, upon meeting Misspelt Saphire. It was all too easy to turn the talking critter who serves as a mentor to the magical girls into the most over-the-top drill sergeant of all time.
But when I got deeper into the fic, I found so much more to love. Dreamstar wants to be a stock magical girl story combined with blatant wish fulfilment and ported into a kitchen sink superhero setting. It hits as many reliable magical girl elements as it can but seems to fumble all of them. It has its own endlessly over the top moments, from the afore-mentioned Great Dane to the wild training scenarios to the fact that it apparently forgot one of the lead characters for two chapters. And Tim, whose predicament is glossed over and ignored.
A special shout out goes to the opening character profiles, largely because half of the characters featured never appear. I can only imagine what delights they would have brought.
In purely technical terms, I feel that Death’s Fixer is the best written fanfic we have riffed. Not the best fanfic, not by far, but it was made much more readable by its well-crafted prose and attention to detail. It had some genuinely good ideas as well in its crossover, including the magical people hidden in Night City. In particular, the revelation of the Relic being a Horcrux was not only inspired, but a great way to bring the two conflicting worlds together. There was a lot of genuine effort put into the fic, from the writing to the plotting and the world building. More fics should be like that.
Sadly, more fics are like its failings, most of which revolve around Not Harry Potter. I maintain that we have never actually had Harry Potter appear in one of our fics, with his role instead being taken by some kind of manifestation of an insane libertarian wet dream. This Not Harry Potter managed to jam himself into a number of important historical events prior to the fic, just to make him more ever-present and vital to the setting. And of course he behaves with reckless abandon, constantly exposing his magical abilities and doing whatever he feels like without suffering any consequences.
V’s there too, but you could easily miss her.
This fic impresses me and frustrates me in equal measure. I feel that there could be a genuinely good story using elements of the Harry Potter and Cyberpunk worlds as they’re laid out in this work by using more original characters. Investigating the Relic goes down a rabbit-hole of secret magical societies and the truth behind the leaders of Arasaka, for example. Just without Death’s Fixer himself hogging all the screen time.
In Girl on Fire, the Justice League are defeated by a door and play Jenga.
No, really.
Every effort is made throughout Girl on Fire to ensure that its massive cast does nothing to contribute to the fic. It assembles the entire roster of the Young Justice and Justice League teams from the first season of the cartoon just so they could stand around and watch the action. And what action is that? Why, wildly inconsistent action. Our lead Phoenix seems to be able to overpower her villainous family Black Flame and Ghost Flame just as easily as those two incapacitate all the other heroes put together, only for the aforesaid duo to take her out of action with a bucket of water.
Yep. You read that right.
Although, truth be told, the superhero action really takes a backseat to the teen drama. Mostly it’s about Stephanie, her tragic backstory, her everyday life with her highly accommodating family, her blossoming romance with Robin and the fact that she sings like an angel – of which we are constantly reminded. It’s telling that the real villains of the fic, the Injustice League, really have no plan or goal; they’re largely there because the fic needs villains, even if it doesn’t do anything with them.
But there are a lot of reasons to like Girl on Fire. It’s cosy. It takes the time to get to know Stephanie’s family, even if they make no sense. Its characters are quite inadvertently fun. Madam Z is the fic’s bizarrely inexplicable standout, but Black Flame and Ghost Flame apparently having no motivation beyond mildly annoying Stephanie is a treat. And, as with other fics on this particular list, it feels like there’s an earnest desire to entertain, even if it doesn’t really seem to know what its doing.
I love this fic because it feels like it genuinely wants to be loved. In a sea of self-aggrandizing OCs, a girl who just wants to sing and inherit the most of the oil reserves is a refreshing change.
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